Improving "life " skills. Am I low functioning?

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GoofyGreatDane
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11 Feb 2015, 5:20 pm

I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was 16. Now I have very few social issues and have only very mild autistic traits. People do not even notice anything abnormal about me. But I seem to have pretty bad executive functioning skills.Maybe this is why I was diagnosed with ADHD long before I was diagnosed with Asperger's. I was able to finish college away from home- but didn't live as "smoothly" as a normal NT would. The only way I kept my weight up was from drinking beer and eating fast food. I certainly have the ability to make myself a nice meal - but I don't think I could cook up something healthy every night and actually eat it. Healthy dinners are usually big and require me to take time away from what I am doing to eat them, let alone make them. I don't normally get hungry just because it is "lunchtime" and sometimes there are days when it is nighttime and I just realized that "hey I haven't ate all day". Also in college I went months without doing any laundry and my room looked like a hoarder lived there. Everyday I'd be like, "damn I NEED to do the laundry to have fresh clothes" but then it just wouldn't get done that day. Luckily I brought at least enough shirts to last a month between washings. I also had a hard time keeping a schedule, but could do it if I actually HAD to (if the professor took attendance). I also have never had a car. I learned how to drive my senior year of highschool but never actually took the driving test because I ran out of time since I started college right out of highschool(summer). Now that I just graduated college, I am re-learning how to drive. I am really embarrassed about not having a license yet- but it is only because I never wanted to take time to learn until late in my senior year of highschool. Maybe I'm just insanely lazy? But then why do I have no trouble at all doing work that doesn't require you to structure your time and schedule?



kraftiekortie
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11 Feb 2015, 5:55 pm

There's no way you're "low-functioning." You graduated high school. You're in college. You learned to drive.

I guess you're pretty much a "procrastinator" who gets so involved in "special interests" that you forget to do essential things.

LOL...I always find time to eat--maybe that's why I'm 5 foot 5, 190 lbs? LOL

I have to do laundry because I don't have much clothes--and I can't afford to buy a months worth of clothes!

It takes a monumental effort for me to get off my butt and do things like the dishes. I'm a very poor cleaner. My wife says I don't "organize myself" well.

I've never gotten to the point where I seem like a "hoarder," though I did pile up newspapers/magazines in my apartment one time about 20 years ago.

I did not benefit from driving instruction at all. I had 70 lessons when I was in my early 30's. I failed the road test. However, when I was 37, I started driving on my own (risking a ticket). After about three sessions, I felt I was ready for my road test. I passed it. I got my license at age 37.

Don't be embarrassed that you don't have your license in your early 20s.



OliveOilMom
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13 Feb 2015, 1:51 am

I haven't had a license in close to 30 years. Thats mainly because I'm protesting the ridiculous law in the state I used to live in and I'm refusing to pay for something that was caused by a drunk driver when I was sober and had a license and tag and he pulled out in front of me. That doesn't mean I don't drive or that I'm not a good driver. I may go ahead and get mine back now that it finally fell off my record but I was damned and determined not to pay that. It finally fell off.

I'm great at life skills stuff. Housekeeping, bill paying, etc. I could help you with stuff if you want.


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Marky9
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13 Feb 2015, 2:25 pm

I try to avoid being sucked into society's (i.e. NT) conventions about things. I have developed my own flexible timing for getting household stuff done in a way that suits me. I gave up car ownership because the annoying little gadgets require more attention than I think they deserve, and I stead now just use an hourly car share. All of which is to say: if stuff gets done in a time and manner that suits me (and meets local health code laws :D ), then who's to say that is in someway wrong? Being an unconventional person (an Aspie) then I try to allow myself to be ok with doing things unconventionally.



ToughDiamond
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13 Feb 2015, 5:03 pm

Certainly I've had a lot of those problems. Mostly I've managed to simplify them.

I only cook if I want to enough, and even then it'll not be more than an egg, a potato, or a microwaveable simple thing. Rest of the time, I live on stoneground wholemeal bread, olive oil, spinach, tomatoes, carrots, and hummus, plus biscuits and chocolate to make up the calories. Very easy to prepare, just take stuff out of fridge, peel carrot, slice and spread the bread, load the plate, return rest of food to fridge, done. Drinks: real orange juice or hot green tea. I probably eat less than average, which is probably a healthy thing, and it also keeps the cooking requirements low. If I do want to do anything more ambitious, I treat it as a trailblazing adventure, and I try to use science skills to make it easier, e.g. measuring ingredients, times and temperatures carefully and planning the whole thing in advance, possibly with small pilot studies before scaling up the process. I also like to make large batches and freeze portions. I eat when I feel hungry enough, which isn't usually until afternoon.

Laundry - I'm lucky enough to own a washing machine that's very easy to use, I don't sweat much so my clothes last 2 or 3 days before they need washing. I don't own many clothes, about 3 changes (unless you count a ton of clothes I don't like and keep separately, awaiting the final decision to trash them or donate them), and they're organised enough for me to easily notice when I'm down to my last set. Then I just grab the laundry basket, and tip the contents into the machine (I try not to mix white clothes with dark ones, in case the dye makes the white clothes look grubby, and that's an annoying complication I haven't quite solved yet). There's not much stuff to dry, so I just hang it on radiators and on the backs of chairs. I arrange them carefully to minimise creases.

Driving - I failed a couple of tests, and finally passed after a phase of frequent practice (one or two journeys a day for a couple of months), but I found I didn't really need to drive after that, living very close to my workplace in a big city. I also don't have much faith in my driving skills especially if the route is very crowded with lots of complicated junctions, though I found motorway driving easy. And I was poor at driving when I wasn't sure of the route - couldn't work out the route and drive at the same time, so rather than do anything risky, I would take twice as long to get there. But the actual driving - use of gears, standard signals and mirror checks etc. - became second nature, and it freed up a lot of my brain to focus on navigating.



Sweetleaf
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14 Feb 2015, 12:59 am

That sounds a lot like how it is for me on a daily basis....I leave the house and start walking somewhere realize I brought my lighter and left my cigarettes, or I remember to grab the cigarettes and leave my phone or headphones. Or I figure I have everything all packed go to visit my brother or anywhere else I go and get home only to realize I have no key to get into the locked door....I even have two keys now in case I lose one. I might finally get around to laundry when it needs doing and then the next day I am still finishing drying and putting away clothes if they ever get put away....sometimes I just throw all my clean clothes in a basket and they never make it into the closet before i wear them. That is just a couple examples but yeah basically hard to initiate tasks, or decide where to start let alone decide on items like what to wear, what tea/coffee or food to buy at the store, constantly misplacing things ect is a daily occurrence for me.


But if you graduated college you must be doing something right....I ended up dropping out but when I was still going I was late to classes a lot and had difficulty keeping to any scedule....and I'm 25 with no drivers liscense, though its not lazyness per say...I am worried I might space out at the wrong time and cause an accident I really don't have control over when that happens its like sometimes my mind gets stuck in the task at hand so its hard to notice the transition if that makes sense(I figure that could interfere with driving and sudden situations during traffic) or hit something or get too overwhelmed and anxious if the driving gets stress-full or like there's bad traffic.


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