Not letting people dominate me

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I think letting people dominate me over the years has been the cause of a lot of my problems. It's caused low energy, feelings of low self-esteem and occasional disorientation and sickness.

Now I'm trying to put a stop to people dominating me. Whenever people are trying to dominate me I imagine my energy going up and pushing their energy down.

Even if you don't believe in energy-work it sure helps keep my body language in check. Because of this I can deal with my dad without feeling like crap and I can get checked out by guys without feeling sick or degraded.

I no longer have to worry about acting anxious and girly. I can just let them know that I will not play their primitive games.

There will always be people who are more dominant than others in the world. That's life.

It's good to hear that you are learning how to cope with people in general.

I guess there will be, but I'm not going to let them take my energy. I'll still doing my energy exercises. They may be able to be dominant, but they won't be able to mess with my energy or get emotionally close to me. I'll treat them like the psychopathic robots they are.

That sounds interesting to me. I'm glad it's working for you.

I have had similar difficulties. There seems to be a constant pull and push in social interactions where one person alternately drains energy and has their energy drained from them. It's been tough for me to recognize this, though I realized that some people react poorly to attempts to stop the cycle of energy vampirism. I'm currently trying to stop being an energy vampire and to stop letting others drain my energy.

Good luck on your efforts!

The key is to be assertive and getting your point across without trying to dominate other people yourself. The worst thing is to be some other person's doormat, but you also have to respect other peoples' opinion and agree to disagree with them when you feel they are wrong.

Personaly I would try to stay away from people like that. You are not some chumps slave, do what YOU want to do. I'd also try to be calm and mature. It sounds like that energy thingy is working for you, so i'd keep that up. Maybe a psychiatrist or whatever can help you with this domination thing also. Not sure if I really understand your situation, so I'm sorry if I wasn't much help here. I'm an anxious person myself If I was trying to go against people dominating me, i'td make me anxious and scared in varying degrees, but you gotta be brave. Also, do you just "THINK " people are trying to dominant you and you feel paranoid, or are people actually trying to ? :/ (I'm not saying how you feel is invalid btw) If it is paranoia then a whatever "ist" it is will probably help out. Otherwise keep up the energy thing (if it works for you) read up about Domination and stuff, an "ist" might still be able to help also. Try to be strong and brave. Sorry if this is all useless, or if you knew all this already. Good luck

I find it helps to stop caring what the person thinks of you.

Keep up the good work, devilkisses!

You're doing a great job. Keep it up.

I have had problems in this area as well. I find it hard to walk the fine line between being assertive and being a jerk sometimes. I found the following article which i linked at the bottom of this post, which i think sheds light on why it is so hard for aspies to not let ppl dominate them. I think this quote, where the author answers why she tolerated what should have been intolerable behavior toward her from peers, is it in a nutshell:

"Because I had learned to look to others for what was considered socially appropriate, even if it was painful or uncomfortable to me...My peers tolerated this behavior and thought it was OK, and I took their lead. This was the product of years of being indirectly taught to discount my own pain and discomfort in a given situation if it conflicted other peoples’ opinions of social propriety."

We are taught from the beginning that our instincts are wrong and that we have to look around us and mimic what we see, in order to function. It is hard to go from watching and mimicry to being assertive, especially when our desires conflict with social norms.

I am still working on this area. I watch social interactions very carefully as one standing back looking in. I look for the balance of power in the interaction--who holds the upper hand. It will be the person who is in control of himself/herself. Where both parties are in control, you have equal footing. This is where we can "agree to disagree" without fighting. I view this as a successful interaction for both parties.

Where one party can "push the other person's buttons," --make the other person mad, make them look stupid, etc.--the balance of power will be skewed and it is a short hop from there to one person dominating the interaction and the other person being stepped on. This is not an exhaustive explanation because there are more layers to it--but that is where i would start looking if you have not studied social interactions in this way before.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/as ... ing-say-no

Good luck not letting people dominate you, it really does wreck your energy like you said.

How do this work exactly? How do people try to dominate you? Why does your energy depend on other people's energy?