So I posted in the infamous AS partners forum for NT's...

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And I thought I would explain that there is a distinction between narcissism and autism.. And explained that autistic people can feel empathy.. We are not sociopathic. Well I was accused of being incapable of empathy anyway.

http://forums.delphiforums.com/aspartne ... sg=13498.3

One comment I got back and I paraphrase

"not understanding social cues? If someone is visibly crying it is clear they are upset.. How can you not read that?"



... Because I can't.

Any way what do you guys think about this?

I think it's a very interesting topic.

I'm a little confused as to where the conversation started from.

Both sides are showing a lack of empathy a lack of coming to a middle ground compromise, a lack of loving, a lack of compassion, a lack of loving.

I admit to having done this in the past (blaming), although I try not to do it anymore. Putting the blame on someone who doesn't understand the effects of their actions. It's possible I'm not an Aspie so keep that in mind.

In any case, I don't think Aspies are unempathetic as a general rule. I knew a couple other people with Asperger's and I never got the impression that they were unempathetic at all in the slightest. I got the impression that they were naive and childlike.

It's also worth pointing out that just because someone posts online and says they are autistic doesn't actually mean that they are. Just because someone posts online and thinks they are NT doesn't actually mean they are (perhaps they are in denial of their own aspergers traits).

It's incredibly intolerant and unempathetic to not forgive someone with asperger's who can't understand the emotions of others.

My question here, is do people here actually not understand the pain of someone crying or do they withdraw in order to protect themselves?

In any case, it is always important to look at where the person is coming from. Healing can only come from understanding the other person's state of mind.

Perhaps an Aspie might behave in behaviors that appear abusive but when shown in context of their disability, actually become quite understandable, and therefore the "victim" can realize that the behaviors were not in fact abusive in the slightest. I think true abuse involves deliberate, purposeful, intent to harm another for the purpose of domination. I don't think a typical Aspie fits this description. Although you can correct me if you think I'm wrong.

Physical crying means hurt feelings. Duh.

Waste of energy OP - you might as well visit a Klan site and advocate for racial tolerance. You can't open closed minds. They have their agenda on that Delphi site (bitter and twisted mainly) and use it to dump their rage on all people on the spectrum because they hate their ex or current partners who are on the spectrum. It's a victim mentality hate site full of projections.

I read through all the replies on that page (not sure where the rest of the conversation went) and found all the posters there (and in this instance, I do mean all) to be unkind and intolerant. They were hostile toward you OP for no reason other than the fact that you're an aspie; they all appear to have come to the conclusion that, as a result of negative experiences with their autistic partners, all aspies must automatically behave the same way, and they despise us for it. That whole site smacks of severe discrimination and hostility, and I hate it.

People take folks like these as jokes. They're taking out their insecurity on an easy minority. It's a cheap and easy way to avoid confronting their own issues. They're no different than those 'Alpha-male' misogynists.

Right on. That's the level they are on. Ignore them. Let them stew in their own juice.

Reading the forum, it's pretty obvious most of those people do not actually have partners with AS and know nothing about AS. They also clearly lack empathy for autistic people.

Scapegoats are so convenient..

Yes, absolutely futile. Try talking to a pig, at best it will only grunt back at you. Try to teach it to behave with dignity and respect toward others with enlightened behaviour and you will only annoy the pig, while wasting your own time and energy..