Autistic people not wanting to do this?

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Why do you think in societies in the west where personal independence is highly valued a lot of people on the spectrum do not want live with/share apartments with a group of other people? In the uk we call them 'flats'

Reason why I didn't feel comfortable with sharing is because I have a diaper fetish, I am afraid of messes and parties and stuff being stolen from me, the noise, money problems, I like to be in control of my own environment. I have heard too many bad room mate stories.

Maybe they feel like sharing an apartment or whatever is a sign of lacking full independence to them since they still have to depend on room-mates to help pay rent, keep the place clean and cover utitlity bills as well as internet/cable or any luxuries they've got. Also are you sure a 'flat' is the same thing?....somehow I had the impression they where typically bigger than the apartments we have here in the U.S...more along the lines of a town house or condiminium which are like apartments but a little bigger much of the time with more than one story to unit like basement, mid level, upstairs but are attched like apartments.....Apartments don't have multiple levels(an apartment building might) at best they have a living room, kitchen, bathroom, closet for washer/dryer and a bedroom or two...but many just have a shared laundry room for the complex and a lot of times the kitchen/living room is combined or its a studio and has no bedrooms. Or is all housing attached to each other regardless of size considered flats I am actually curious?

Anyways I do not mind the idea of having to share with room-mates per say, but we'd have go get along...chances are though if I can get into some subsidized housing It would just be me by myself, which I am also fine with.

Flats are flat. They can only be two rooms or be as big as a penthouse, if they're only on one floor then they're a flat.

Autistic people struggle to understand other people and be understood themselves, we require routine, and we don't like loud noises or other unpleasant sensory inputs. The challenges living with other people provides should be obvious from there.

Well then what are multiple level dwellings that are attached similarly to apartments called there? It does make much more sense that a 'flat' would be a flat dwelling meaning no multiple levels.

Living with a stranger or even a friend requires a lot of compromises. You have to share responsibilities and respect privacy. There is a lot of rules to remember and some of them are considered obvious therefore never discussed until you break them.

And also you can't trust people. My friend got robbed recently by her flatmate. He got into to her room when she was out and took her jewelery and some electronics. She is unable to do anything about that because she can't prove it was him(although she is sure it is the case, she can "feel it"). There is 2 more people living in the flat and probably some more people - old residents - still have keys to the flat so any of them could do it.

Not to mention people stealing your food from fridge or using your cup.
And holding parties in middle of night.

When you live just on your own there is no people to compromise with on daily basic, no unofficial rules to obey and all you have to worry about is keeping your front door locked.

Last edited by Kiriae on 01 Mar 2015, 3:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

A block of flats.

A single floor house is a bungalow.

Last edited by Gaara on 01 Mar 2015, 3:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I would hate to share a room with other people if I didn't know them before. I wouldn't mind decent friends or close family, or a loving partner. That's different.

My partner lives on his own in a block of flats, and I do want to move in with him soon. But the only thing about that what worries me is having careless people living above him who might leave a cooker on, setting fire to the whole flats or something. That's scary, as I am very sentimental, and I have a lot of possessions what I can't replace and would hate to lose in a house fire. I hate fires.

I've lived fairly happily in shared houses where I've had a room of my own and known the other people well. Now I'm older it wouldn't feel so appropriate, and I've been spoiled for privacy for a long time now. I always noticed that sharing a house only felt good when I was unpartnered - when I have a partner I feel invaded in the same environment, because my social needs gravitate more towards my relationship.

I would hate to live in a flat unless it was exceptionally well-soundproofed. I hate noise from outside my home unless it's the (usually gentle) sounds of certain kinds of wildlife and weather. The whole block would also have to look nice and be safe from dangerous people (some of the down-market blocks contain some right monsters). I'd not even consider a really nice flat to be quite right for me though. I'd prefer a detached house with large-ish grounds and a secure wall round it, and the more a house is attached to other people's houses, the less I like it. Having my own garden is very important to me, even if I don't use it much. I don't want to hear neighbours' noise when I'm in my garden either, apart from the occasional rattle of a dustbin lid and the sound of digging, and the occasional gentle voice.

Sharing living space means losing control over your environment.

I don't want to live with someone. That's sacrificing way too much privacy and alone time that I can't function without. I can't cope with someone telling me how I should live my life and at the same time, I can't cope with having to tell someone how to live theirs. By that I mean by having someone eat my food, shout at me for not getting chores done timely (they get done, but on my own time) shaming me for not being as social as I "should" be, or worse - having them bring friends over to my own personal space. People I don't know or trust, or want to know and trust. It's worth the extra 400 a month to live alone, it really is.

For me mostly it's that I want to be free to flip out, breakdown, look like I crawled out from hell whenever I want instead of worrying someone's going to hear me or that I'll have to get dressed to go get food or go to the bathroom. And.....people steal. I have a friend who says she won't have roommates ever again because someone stole some of her things. Also, I don't like having to look at other peoples' messes. Mine are fine, but others are no good. I will want to organize for them. I used to do that when I was a kid. I remember rearranging my aunts bookshelf after everyone else fell asleep and I was still awake. Never really thought about how she might have stuff she didn't want me to find...

I hate sharing rooms because 1. they always leave the door open and turn the lights out, which I f*****g hate for sensory reasons 2. they are often there when I want to be alone, which leads to anxiety 3. I don't want to hurt anyone with godawful sleep habits.