Unable to say NO.

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I really, really can't say no to people, and I don't know why. Whatever somebody asks of me, I'll do it. Here's an example: During the summer holidays, I went to help my friend out at the local temple. It was really busy as a major festival was on. We were helping out in the car park, which was obviously hell.
At the end of a 12 hour non-stop shift I was:
Exhausted
Panicky
Frazzled due to people yelling at me, hooting, e.t.c
My feet were ACHING.

All I wanted to do was to go home. Then my dad suddenly called.
"Hey, do you want me to pick you up now?"

My friend asked who it was and I explained to her that my dad was asking if I wanted to be picked up. She said, in a whiny tone, that I promised not to leave. I told my dad that I would carry on, even though my mind was yelling the opposite.

Thankfully, my dad seemed to recognize by the tone of my voice that I was in pain, and picked me up. She was really annoyed by this.

Do any of you have problems saying no and do you always say what others want to hear?

Yes

I have ways of disappearing into the background and drifting away, but actually coming out and saying no is an issue. I end up feeling really guilty.

I definitely have problems saying no. I sometimes say no, but not often enough. I say yes way too often even though I would really prefer to say no. It's just hard to say no sometimes. I want to be helpful, considerate etc., but I realize that I often do more than I really want to and I know that in most cases the people asking me to do things wouldn't do the same for me if the situation was reversed. I often find it hard to detect the fine line between being helpful and being used.

Yes, I have trouble saying no and always have. Only this year I have started to get better at it, because I want to be healthy and well! It is horrible to health and self esteem to agree to doing things that you do not want to do.

What I have to do, for myself, is take some time when someone asks. They often expect an answer right away which I know makes me uncomfortable. If I can say, "Let me call you back" or something like that it is much better.

then I have to ask myself if I really want to, or why I want to or not. Sometimes I feel like I want to say OK but the reason is that I want to say sure so that I don't make the person mad. In the past Ive felt like if someone was mad about me not wanting to do something, it would cause a huge amount of permanent destruction. However, what I have found is that people usually get over it, even if they initially are very mad or annoyed or inconvenienced or whatever.

I feel much better about myself when I say No, or say Yes I can help here, but only for this long or in this way. It turns out feeling good about myself (and not feeling taken advantage of or drained) is more important than having people approve of me just because I always do whatever they ask.

I have this problem, especially with people who are a little more domineering than me, because I'm quiet and sensitive and sweet all the time, so most people overtake me and think I will say yes all the time. I like to say yes, I like to help people out, I like to be with people, but sometimes people forget that I do have a mind of my own and that I'm not so naive as everybody thinks I am.

Funnily enough, I find it easier to say no to somebody over text. I have a man who fancies me, but I don't fancy him. I like him as a person, but I don't want to date him. It's been going on like this for a year, and he still hasn't picked up any signals that I don't fancy him. But last week he texted me and asked me if I wanted to stay round his one night, and I put back ''it's kind of you to offer, but I'd prefer to sleep on the settee if I did come and stay?'' (I thought I'd put a question mark at the end to make it sound more.....you know), and he took it quite well and accepted that we be friends. I found that so much easier and didn't have any guilty feelings afterwards. But saying that to his face would have been impossible - I could not do it. It'd be too difficult for me.

I do fear conflict. It's easy over text (I've had arguments over text before), but face-to-face, or even over the phone, is much more difficult. I think it's because I'm scared to raise my voice at people (except from my family because they're used to me), so I tend to keep this calm, monotonous voice when feeling nervous, and it makes it even harder and more awkward to speak my opinion.

Oh I wish I could be more dominent!

No.

Yes, I do have trouble saying No.

Not only how to say it, but when to say it. You see, if I go along with someone else's agenda, that someone else is unlikely to object (as long as I follow through). If I don't, they often insist that I explain my agenda. Sometimes they object. Sometimes negotiation of some sort must follow in order to avoid an impasse and a rupture in the relationship. Each one of these things is hard to deal with. So if I'm capable of it, it's often easier to go along with the other person's agenda.

The trouble is, of course, that once you've set the precedent, they expect you to always align with their agenda, and escalate demands/expectations on you. Then you reach your limits, and it all goes downhill from there.

I don't have a good general solution here, sad to say.

Yes, most times. It's a combination of a fear of displeasure and a desire to not make someone unhappy.

I have a hard time telling people no and just telling them what to do in general.

It used to be a problem for me. It sometimes still is but I will usually now say no when I want to since experience has taught me if I don't say no sometimes, people will start assuming I will always say yes and I will feel even more guilty when I really do have to say no.

That's not to say I don't feel guilty sometimes for saying no to people. It's just a smaller dose than storing it all up until I have no choice but to say no, and the avalanche of guilt that comes with it.

Also, if I always said yes then the people asking would be disappointed when I said no. By saying no sometimes, the people asking are happier when I say yes. Crazy world.

Saying no is difficult but not impossible. I used to use sarcastic retorts and such to 'metaphorically' say no but that doesn't really work. The only way to really say no is to just say no.

Inevitably someone will complain but I've learned that there are those people that ALWAYS complain.

I can say no just fine to transport requests. Such as "no, I do not want to ride in your car, I will ride my bike."

But I cannot refuse my help to pretty much anyone, ever. It used to kick my butt a lot when I was screen printing and such. "hey, can you make a flier for this show?" sure... and i would accept far more projects than I was capable of producing. Ooops. You are stuck in the snow and need a push? I will be late for work, but sure... Ooops.

Oh, and I can usually say no when someone wants me to be an accomplice to behavior that I have moral objection to, such as stealing and lying. Usually.

Yeah, I do. I've gotten better at it, but I still hate conflict. For me it comes from growing up with two parents who always liked to argue. It always made me really upset, to the point where I'd shutdown for a bit and life would seem to screech to a halt.

No, no, no, no, no. No.

Just a girl who cain't say 'No'?

You aren't alone...
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZxQqBqQ-_I[/youtube]

i have trouble saying no, probably i am afraid to disappoint the person.