Is My Wife an Aspie?

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I am a bit confused as to what to look for in females, to identify ASD.
Could anybody give me some common clues to look for?

You would have to consult a mental-health professional for the correct and complete answer to your question. We're just a bunch of amateurs.

well here is the basic diagnostic criteria. Asperger Syndrome which was the term used under the DSM IV is roughly equivalent to ASD Level 1 under the DSM V:

viewtopic.php?t=271017

Of course only a properly trained professional can make an official diagnosis

If she is interested she could take this basic screening test:

http://aq.server8.org/

But, again only a properly trained professional can make a proper official diagnosis

Depending on where you live and your financial situation will decide the availability of competent professionals. Many if not most psychologists and even a substantial number of Autism specialists look at a list of traits originally designed for boys leading to misdiagnosis or non diagnosis of adult women, or they think if symptoms are not severe, it is not autism. So the key is to look for a Autism specialist with substantial experience in how Autism presents in adult women .

Here is a guideline from such a specialist
Aspienwomen: Adult Women with Asperger Syndrome. Moving towards a female profile of Asperger Syndrome

Is your wife open to the idea she might be different or autistic?

f2d2-I am starting to see what you and Fnord mean about it not being that simple. Thank you.

ASPartOfMe-Nope on all. I live deep in the mountains, about three hours away from minimal sevices like that. No extra money for this kind of thing, if I could get there. And, not a chance that I could even talk about it with her at this point. This is why I figured if I could confirm a few flags, I don't know.

Best you can do for now is see here and in various blogs, youtube videos how others deal with specific traits and behaviors in themselves and partners.

Just because I have Asperger's doesn't make me automatically an expert on it. in fact I never even heard of it until my diagnosis in 2001. But I have learned a lot about it since then. The traits I display that led to my diagnosis included:

-Lack of social skills, wanting to be alone, not "mingling" with other people.

-Hypersensitivity to certain types of clothing, makeup, cosmetics, preferring to wear practical clothing and appearing "tomboyish" as a result.

-Role playing a lot with dolls, stuffed animals or imaginary friends as a child that extends into teen or even adult years (possibly a way of coping with not knowing how to make or interact with real friends). Often mistaken for schizophrenia.

-Special interests, one-sided conversations about interests.

ASPartofMe
I just noticed your link, I am getting shivers reading it. This is very comprehensive.
and
lostonearth35
Yes, that is the kind of stuff I was hoping for. I too have Asperger's but I was told it is different for females. I guess I should have asked,

What is the difference between Aspie men and women?

Thank you for taking time to help.

This is not something you can get answers to a one day one week or one month despite the desperate urge to do so at a "aha" moment such as you are are experiencing. The "aha" or "Oh my God" or you feel like you are reading somebody who seems has been following your wife(or you) her whole life moment is a very common part of the process. But some of these traits are common to other conditions or just personality. As said in the article when most of them fit there is good reason for suspicion.

This is a really tough question to answer as Aspies are just like NTs in that they're all different. I have a friend who is an Aspie woman and constantly up in people's faces, laughing, joking and being sociable even though I've heard a lot of people describe her as "insufferably annoying" and "extremely weird". Then I have another Aspie female friend who is very quiet, doesn't really talk much and when she does, she's worried that she offended someone.

Like mentioned, it's best to see a professional. There's plenty of amateur resources online that can teach you the basics but to know for certain you'll have to see a specialist.

[quote="lostonearth35"]

-Role playing a lot with dolls, stuffed animals or imaginary friends as a child that extends into teen or even adult years (possibly a way of coping with not knowing how to make or interact with real friends). /quote]

Wow! I thought I was probably the only person who carried this over into adulthood. Just now starting to realize that it might actually be a characteristic of Asperger's.

Ever read "Dibs in Search of Self," Professor John?

That's precisely how Dibs emerged as a brilliant kid--through play therapy.

A Behavioral Comparison of Male and Female Adults with High Functioning Autism Spectrum Conditions

While this study has documented that adult women with ASC
present fewer current socio-communication symptoms, it is an
open question as to the underlying reasons for such an effect.

Another interesting difference between females and males with
ASC were the increased sensory issues in females.

Meng-Chuan Lai et. al.

This is really uncanny, are you lot remotely viewing me?