Crying = not on the Spectrum???

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So i finally went through the ASD screening today, WAIS IV for the IQ test, ADOS for the autism/Asperger's screening. When we got through the test, I think I asked her something like, "so how'd I do?" She said something about how I had no problems expressing my emotions, because I had cried when she asked me what things made me sad. My answers were, "Work, when i make my wife sad, thinking about my brother's suicide, and thinking about how my dad abused me." and then i cried.

I didn't know how to take her response--was she saying people with Asperger's don't cry? Or don't cry about past hurts? It got me really upset when she said that, like, somehow all my other symptoms I've been dealing with don't count, all these months I thought I was on the Spectrum don't count, and I won't get any help coping with anything. I felt devastated, like she was saying I don't need help. I won't know how I did for 2 or 3 weeks, so i am trying not to obsess and turn into a mess, but it felt like she shut me out somehow.

I thought the ADOS was really dopey, like it was for kids. I feel like people in the mental health profession don't care.

What? I cry. I never heard of not crying being a symptom of autism. Huh?

That's total bs. I did different tests to you but it sounds like the person testing you doesn't have much knowledge.

Sounds like nonsense to me too - I cry, or really fight to get words out without tears in my eyes, when someone expresses sympathy towards me - I just can't cope with that, because I can't cope with my own emotions!

Professionals don't know it all.

I think it was that i was showing emotions and not having some sort of flat affect or odd way of speaking. Although i started stuttering and crying after she said that. I smiled some as well during the interview, but i always try to do that with strangers in the hopes that they'll like me. It's more of a habit/fake thing than me really being happy... smile at the nice NTs and maybe they won't be nasty.

Some people think we on the spectrum don't have emotions, whereas in my case that is extremely false. I am more emotional than logical.

Well, I don't cry anymore at all, but I always equated that more with gender transition than with autism. I got the impression it was more common with autistic adults than NT adults due to problems in emotional processing/getting overwhelmed/meltdown.

Me too, totally. Unfortunately it just comes off looking dopey.

I've been accused of both being too emotional and too cold, depending on the situation. And sometimes by the same person, at different times. My wife told me that when we first got together, she often couldn't tell what I was feeling. Now after years of therapy, prying open those locked up emotions, they spill out rather unexpectedly. Especially the tears.

When I was calling down the list for a doctor to test me I spoke to one who, when I chuckled because she said she only sees children (I'm 44), said, "Don't worry. You laughed; you don't have it."

I'm so glad I had no chance to see her.

My son has AS and he laughs and cries, even very sensitive. I'm so glad my son wasn't seen by her, either.

If your test comes back negative, I would recommend finding a new doctor if possible; the idea that autistics don't express emotion is rubbish; I absolutely do, I just tend not to around other people, though that has more to do with a history of distrusting people than with anything autism related.

...you just explained why you were questioned you about it. You are on the spectrum, you used to not cry until therapy, and now you cry.

Showing emotions versus feeling emotions are not the same thing. Understanding emotions and being able to communicate emotions is not the same thing as having them but being unable to express them in any meaningful way to someone else. Emotions are just like any other sense, they can be overwhelmed or buried, just like you can pay attention to all the sounds going on around you or you can block them out. Excess of blocking out stimuli IS an autism thing, and emotions are a stimulus. Just like now being devasted and over-analyzing when someone mentions that you can cry. From what you described here, to us, you are putting so much into the interviewer's mouth that it's kind of amazing. All that from 1 sentence they said??

Also SPD is a differential diagnosis for autism, which often present similarly, and one's ability to have emotions is a pretty big difference.

Also, if you feel like you were treated like a child, it is because sometimes autistics process things more like children do, on a different level of understanding and interpreting. If you felt it was beneath you, then it was, but that doesn't mean they don't care. It means that have tests that are generalized for ALL people with autism, and you know full-well that lots of people on the spectrum have it much worse than you do.

Lastly, why is it anyone else's job to help you cope with things? HOW can they help you cope with things is the more important thing??

Well thank you for that. You are calling my experiences rubbish. Because -heaven forbid- when I had meltdowns as a child ans I was punished and meltdowns were what happened when I expressed and felt emotions, then I trained myself to not experience my emotions, clearly autism would have no role in this whatsoever, un huh.

Think past the end of your nose.

She didn't say any of those things. From your quote of her, she didn't even imply them. It looks to me like all she did was note that you don't have alexthymia which some but certainly not all autistic people have.

Wait for the report and see if her analyses make sense to you.
If you have the resources, you can get a second opinion.
If two psychs assess you and determine that you don't have autism, then it is not worth continuing to pursue autism diagnosis.

I admit that, for myself, seeing someone cry is torturous to me. My preference is to be stoic and free of negative emotions like anger, jealousy and ego.