Feeling Weird Inside a High School Building as an Adult

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Aspie1
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07 Mar 2015, 3:01 pm

There's are a few high schools near me, where outside groups often rent out spaces for their own use. The schools allow it, for monetary reasons. A community theatre group uses the auditoriums, and I've seen a few of their plays. I also went to one high school to vote in the 2014 Primary Election, which was held in their cafeteria, with only a rope to separate the voters from the student eating area. Fireworks shows in my town are held on the school's football stadium; you can sit on the gridiron or pay a little bit extra for a bleacher seat. None of them are the one I went to.

I noticed something. Whenever I into inside a high school building or campus, for reasons I described above, I just get a weird feeling. Not intimidated, not scared, but just a weird feeling I can't put my finger on, like something is not right. It kind of hangs over my head the whole time I'm on the school property, regardless of whether it's during school hours or not. And it doesn't really go away until I get in my car and pull out of the parking lot. Can anyone speculate why?

Elementary schools and middle schools do not seem to trigger the same feeling.



kraftiekortie
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07 Mar 2015, 3:07 pm

It's because it's a school-type building. You had many formative memories--good and bad--within this type of building. It's where you had your first lessons in how to deal with the opposite sex. You went to this building with reluctance, sometimes great reluctance. School buildings tend to have this funny smell, too.



League_Girl
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07 Mar 2015, 4:08 pm

I have felt weird when I would enter my old high school building or drive by it or on property. That is the only high school I have been to since I have graduated.


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Fnord
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07 Mar 2015, 4:14 pm

The last visit I made to my old high school gave me a weird feeling too. It was only when I went back out to the car that it hit me.

I found myself wondering, "Where is everybody, and who are all of these strangers?". Then the weird feeling was gone. Somehow, I had expected that 20 years should not have passed and nothing should have changed.

I guess I just needed some kind of "closure" that the graduation ceremony couldn't provide.



LupaLuna
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07 Mar 2015, 4:27 pm

I still go to High School Buildings for shows and plays. I still do a lot of technical work in theater, especially lighting, and get called out to do lighting or sound for a show. I love High School theater, I have very fond memories of drama class. When I go, I like to enter into the building from the back. I don't like walking down the hallways of the school as it brings back a lot of really bad memories of being bullied.



dianthus
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07 Mar 2015, 4:56 pm

Schools in general give me a spooky feeling, whether I attended school there or not. I feel the same way about other government buildings, like courthouses, police depts., the public health dept., unemployment office, and so on. I think it's the feeling that it is connected to government authority that creeps me out.

I attended private school for 3 years, and I don't have any especially fond memories of the place. I doubt I would be welcomed back on campus for a football game or any other occasion. But I don't get that really spooky feeling when I drive by it. I just think, religious nutters, whatever.

However when I drive past the public high school I graduated from, it really creeps me out.

I loved going to the public library when I was little, but it always gave me a spooky feeling. I remember seeing films there, and I was always excited to go see one, but when the state seal and whatever other government logos came up at the beginning, it would just send a chill down my spine.

I get a similarly creeped out feeling when I see all the occult symbolism on US currency.



Aspie1
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07 Mar 2015, 5:01 pm

Fnord wrote:
I guess I just needed some kind of "closure" that the graduation ceremony couldn't provide.

At my graduation ceremony, other kids were surprisingly civil to me. Even kids who bullied me walked past me without saying anything, and a few milder bullies even congratulated me with handshake. Still didn't give me closure, though.

I think it's important for people who were bullied in high school to go away to college, preferably in another region with a different climate, terrain, and trees, for that "true fresh start" feeling. The less it resembles your high school environment, the better. Pick a large party school, while you're at it; students there can be surprisingly friendly, even to aspies. Also, find a place that doesn't require a car; cars tend to be socially isolating, and create extra competition for social status.

Spending four years in another place will help dull the memories of high school. By continuing to live at home in the same city while going to college, it's a whole lot harder to move past the toxicity of bullying. That's why I still feel uneasy in any kind of high school buildings, and can't watch movies set in a high school. I can't even enjoy "American Pie", a cult classic.



Sweetleaf
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07 Mar 2015, 5:16 pm

Do you have any traumatic events in your life that happened in a school? I have that issue, but its even with college campuses not just limited to public schools kids go to...but I know its related to a traumatic event I endured at school and probably also related to all the bullying and ostracism that adds to it making me uncomfortable.


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SpaceAgeBushRanger
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07 Mar 2015, 9:00 pm

I went through a tour of my old school to see a new building that was constructed during my last year. I was weirded out by how small everything was, and jealous at all the swish technology the kids could play with.

These days I avoid groups of children wearing uniforms, and the squealing-talking sounds children make in playgrounds unnerves me.



Electricbassguy
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07 Mar 2015, 9:02 pm

I feel weird anytime I'm in a park or other place that is mostly meant for kids. I'm afraid being a socially challenged man they'll want to call the cops on me. If I were a woman it'd be easier.



Aspie1
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07 Mar 2015, 9:51 pm

Electricbassguy wrote:
I feel weird anytime I'm in a park or other place that is mostly meant for kids. I'm afraid being a socially challenged man they'll want to call the cops on me. If I were a woman it'd be easier.

You might be right for playground-type parks, like the kind with slides, swings, and such. But for nature preserve parks, you have nothing to worry about. You can walk or jog in them with no issues. Just don't follow or walk close behind any child, no matter what your intentions are.