If you could give one parenting tip?

Post Reply New Topic

Knowing what you know now, if you are an adult, what advice would you give to parents to be of best service to their kids?

I ask in advance for permission to adapt your tips for an article I am writing for my readers, who are parents (both Aspergian/autistic parents, and "NT" parents).

Understand they are not you.

Believe what your child says when it comes to sensory issues, and make sure you tell them that you love them just the way they are. I guess that's two tips, but they go together. They both have to do with acceptance and kindness.

My tip would be to post this in the parenting section of WP

Be open to the idea that you can learn as much from them as they can from you.

Welcome to WrongPlanet Your interesting question shows how dedicated you are to helping others be a good parent to their children. All the best and God Bless.

Believe your kids abilities.
Let him/her try to find a solution before you decide he/she is helpless and you "have to do the thing yourself to get it done". Kids are smart.

Be Rich - have lots of money!

Now I know that sounds utterly shallow. But when you got one or two parents struggling to pay their rent and cannot even make ends meet - THEN ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT you have one or more kids who are completely a handful with lots of special needs and lots of programs that they could REALLY benefit from IF you could afford it - that would be utterly frustrating.

Both of my parents were mentally ill and were poor as a result of that - being that they both came from somewhat educated and middle class backgrounds - then they had three boys which included two children -me being one of them- who was completely troubled and impossible to control - No wonder I drove them all the crazier.

Consistently identify and affirm your children's unique strengths.

Assuming this is for parenting of children on the spectrum: Read Dr. Tony Attwood's "The Complete Guide To Asperger's Syndrome" so that you have a better understanding of the thought processes and behaviours your child will likely exhibit. This way you'll be able to identify them as ASD traits and deal with them appropriately vs. get frustrated and possibly angry.

edit:

Even though many here don't believe me, I'm going to say it anyways. Read up and learn about all of the digestive/food issues people on the spectrum can have and continuously adjust your child's diet until you've managed to minimize their ASD symptoms. I've done this for myself @ ~30 years old (32 now) & between diet/detox/supplements/probiotics I'm living a second life. If my parents had known this when I was a child I'd have led a much happier healthier childhood and would likely be in a better position today vs. having to work as hard as I am in order to be who I want to.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Don't force a square peg into a round hole. Identify what he/she does best and/or is most interested in and capitalize that.

Although it's important to learn to function outside of one's comfort zone, developing mastery in a preferred area can not only help a kid to excel in that area, but also to gain much-needed confidence.

If only one tip is allowed: Don't have kids if you can't afford to feed, clothe, AND house them.

If two tips: Show your children that you LOVE the other parent - never insult or threaten the other parent, and never physically assault the other parent. EVER.

If three tips: Don't become addicted to substances or behaviors that will ruin your health.