Do you see NTs as more emotional than Aspies?

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I read this in the foreword to a book: "Neurotypicals must often seem so emotional, inconsistent, and unpredictable to people with ASD."

Now, I totally agree about the inconsistent and unpredictable part. But the "emotional" part made me pause. I tend to see NTs as cool and confident and unemotional, at least on the outside. Whereas I'm the kind of person who gets upset over tiny little things. From my way of looking at things, Aspies are more emotional, if anything.

How do you see it? Do you see NTs as more emotional than you, or less emotional, or a bit of both?

Not more emotional in the sense of having more intense emotions or being more prone to get upset about things, for sure. But often people use "emotional" to mean something like "having emotions that I can't fully predict/understand" (as in "women are so emotional!") ... and in that sense, NTs definitely seem pretty darned emotional.

I can't say whether this applies to others, but lately I was processing some things and realized that I'm somewhat "emotionally colorblind" ... there are certain emotions (mostly those that are embedded in a relationship to someone else) that I only experience as a combination of other emotions. I guess it's taken me a couple decades of adult life to realize that these feelings are actually real, distinct things for most people, and they haven't just been trying to make me feel uncomfortable.

I'll try to explain a little better: I'm partially red-green colorblind, and if I were fully red-green colorblind I could imagine e.g. describing "green" as "that shade of gray you get when you combine blue and yellow." In the same way, I experience e.g. "grief" as "that painful feeling you get when you combine loss and sadness" -- very intense, and obviously connected to the loss of the person I grieve ... but I just can't relate to NT descriptions of grief in the same way that I can to NT descriptions of loss and sadness. As a result, collective grieving rituals aren't just uncomfortable in the usual way, but positively alienating, because my own intense feelings are completely out of phase with everyone else's.

This makes me wonder if this might be one of the gradients that define the spectrum, with some of us experiencing a fairly NT-like emotional range, and others experiencing one that is narrower or otherwise different. And that in turn makes me wonder -- if there are NT emotions that some of us lack, are there also autistic emotions that NTs lack? Or do we just experience the remaining emotions more strongly?

That's a good explanation. I can't say NTs' emotional reactions are what confuses me--most of the time, I wonder why they don't get upset at things that seem so upsetting for me. But that's just my experience, and others might see it differently.

I don't think it's that there are certain emotions NTs don't feel, but that they often don't experience the same intensity. For example, an NT might not experience the total loss of control that occurs with a meltdown. I think autistic people just have different emotional perceptions, and express emotions differently as well.

Nah, I mean I shield almost all my emotions from reaching the outside... I would guess many of us do. I doubt that NTs are more emotional than Aspies or vice versa... but I think NTs let their emotions show more than Aspies. I could be totally wrong- it's just my two cents.

I think aspies are probably more emotional but we don't show it in an NT way and we care about different things so what might make one of us feel emotional would do nothing to an NT; and likewise.

I feel like I have more emotions than the average person. I feel I have more empathy too. And I feel like emotional illnesses/disorders like anxiety and depression get so misunderstood in my experience. People just think you can ''get over'' depression and anxiety by following their cliches and lectures, when really it makes you feel worse, like alone.

Also, this may sound ironic, but I feel like NTs are better at dealing with situations by thinking logically, whereas I find that quite difficult. It seems like 99% of what I think and feel are based on emotion and I find it hard to think of the logical side of it. I work at a care home, but as a cleaner, not a carer. When I look at the carers I know that they can't be emotional like me when dealing with elderly people with Dementia and other illnesses. I know I would burst into tears when a patient yells at me, and everyone tells me to ''try not'' to burst into tears, but I don't find it as easy as that. Even if I stand up straight, take a deep breath and tell myself in my head that I've got to be authoritative here and take control of the difficult situation by not being afraid to be firm with the patient, the tears still come and then I just melt down. NTs often tell me that I need to ''think more logically than emotionally'', and then I may get on better, employment-wise. I know they have a point, but I don't know how to rationalize my thoughts. If I could learn to be more in authority instead of worrying that I might upset patients by being firm, then I could get better jobs than just cleaning all the time.

The opposite. Aspies are more emotional, whether in the form of sensitivity or intensity. All intense people are sensitive but all sensitive people may not be intense. Even those aspies who "seem" to be less emotional or less intense are at least sensitive. at least sensitive enough not to bully/hurt others "consciously."

And if by "emotions" the society means "showing off dramatic behaviours " like "fake cries", fake smiles, "creating dramas out of nothing", blackmailing or manipulating or making others feel guilty, then we are not emotional.

People sometimes get the wrong idea about me and think that I don't care about things because often if there is something that makes me emotional people think I am acting mean and insensitive but I'm trying to help and find solutions.

I think people with autism have a more limited emotional palette, in that our emotions tend to run to extremes. We're passionate, we're furious, we're just more intense in general, even if it doesn't show on the surface, because our faces are not as expressive. A lifetime of constant anxiety, obsessive interests and frustrated interpersonal communication will do that to a person.

There are subtle gradations of NT emotion, however, that I just can't grasp. It goes along with the nonverbal social cues. I see it happening sometimes, but I just don't get it. Why greeting card holidays are such a big deal. Why it matters what other people think. What's so exhilarating about somebody else's good fortune. NTs have emotional reactions to all sorts of things that don't seem emotion-worthy to me.

OTOH, I have never known a neurotypical to burst into tears while watching a comedy, because they identified with some sad-sack character's public humiliation, or get furiously angry over a tiny noise no one else in the room could hear.

I'm very emotional, I get upset and what most NT's find non upsetting. I was bowling and I got very upset when I would hit all the pins but 1. I will throw things when I'm confused about an NT's intentions. Today I have cried for hours over things most NT's would be non emotional about. But there are times I will laugh and NT's can not find the humor in what I'm saying. I do feel emotions very intensely.

I think I'm quite emotional and can get really worked up over things most other people think is strange or not worth worrying about. The problem is when all kinds of negative emotions build up inside me, usually caused by "little" things like a TV blaring or bad drivers some person I don't even know invading my personal space. It's like a bottle being gradually filled up with water until it eventually overflows.