How do you handle being dominated

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How do you handle being dominated emotionally?

I feel bad for a long time after I have been dominated (i.e. made fun of, being ignored, being interrupted, being told what to do or what you are not allowed to do, receiving help, being physically or emotionally harassed) because of my AS.

Anyone has any good methods of getting past such incidents of being dominated quickly?

What is stopping you from fighting back?

Haters gon' hate. I just make fun back.



Seems only fair considering I ignore pretty much everyone.



"I hadn't finished."



"Yes, mother." *does what I want*



"Thank you."



I can give as good as I get.

If my wife gets out the Cat-O-Nine tails, I'll retrieve the Rack from the attic.

Passive-aggression, of course.

Someone was mean to me? They can forget about any 'favors' like: working on overtime to conceal their screw-ups, keeping my mouth shut about what I know, or not hitting "Reply All" with an attachment detailing how that screw-up was made in the first place.

Someone from Sales once belittled me in front of my co-workers. I later scheduled some vital training sessions for his days off. At his next Sales presentation, one of the Vice-Presidents took him aside during one of the breaks, and told him that he would take over because the information he was giving was out-dated. Last I saw him, he was being escorted by Security out to his car while carrying a box of his personal belongings ...

Another meany told me to proofread his report, "... And be quick about it!" He had named his project 'Smegma' ("System Manager Omega", or something like that). Of course, he spelled it correctly, and used it properly as a noun. So I handed his report back to him 'quickly', smiled, and told him it looked good. He came back about an hour later, livid with anger, and trying to blame me for his embarrassment. One of the Veeps came in during the tantrum, and that meany soon became history, too.

How do we spell "history"?

Why, "G-O-N-E", of course!

I'm really bad at this too... I don't have any advice, but I hear ya.

I go from an extreme of not giving a damn because I don't care what others think of me and I feel they aren't worth the effort anyway to being very angry and childish and wanting to hit them. It depends on my mood at the time though, it's very strange

How does "receiving help" equate to being dominated?

I just ignore it; don't allow myself an emotional response.The emotional response is what the dominator seeks. The emotional response gives this person power; gives him the dominance. If you can refuse to be bothered, no power is given to the dominator. If you can laugh at the person's assertion of dominance, you take away power. That's how I see it anyways.

Looks like you need to get around better people. These people have problems of their own that they're trying to mask. We all have our faults, a Chinese in the armor. They try to cover it and thats the thing they're better at then you, is covering it up. Because we all have something in common, trying to cover our weakness and vulnerabilities. People who really want to hurt others may do it out of conformity or because they have problems they're trying to mask.

Pretty simple, if you are receiving help you are in a more vulnerable position than the person helping you. They can use that to control or manipulate.

*edit* Well, here's an example. Imagine if you have a really nosy, overbearing neighbor that you don't want to let in your home. But one day you are bringing in a ton of groceries or other packages, and they decide to come "help" and they just won't take no for an answer. They grab up your stuff and start bringing it to the door. Then they [I]insist[I] on bringing it inside. And once they come in they start making themselves at home and they don't want to leave.

Sure, that's a "you owe me one" kinda scenario.
It however sounded to me that the OP was alluding to the act of "receiving help" itself automatically putting one in a submissive position. Hence my question.

It's not necessarily a case of "you owe me."



That's exactly what I was alluding to also (not really alluding but stating it outright).

I'm sure we are not alluding to the same thing. There is a difference in immediacy.

I submit . . .

But then I have that imaginary argument with the person who did that in the shower, where they can't talk back and I win the argument every time. I don't think this is a good habit or a good way of dealing with it. But in my head, in the shower, I can make the other person see that the way they treated me was wrong, and how whatever point I tried to make in self-defense was right.

If I try to use the same words with the person in real life later, though, it never works; they just twist everything I say (again) and make it sound like I am the evil, selfish, mean person who doesn't care about others.


It makes no sense to me that they think that of me, though. I don't hurt people deliberately, intentionally, unless they have already hurt me beyond bearing and I am at wit's end. I say things I didn't realize would hurt someone's feelings quite often. But I can't hold my own in a war of words, and I don't want to. I don't like arguing. So I create an imaginary conversation in my mind, where the other person hears me and understands me and realizes I was just trying to understand them--not trying to insult, disrespect or offend them.

So if any good advice appears in this thread I will be happy to try to apply it.

When I was not aware of my autism i.e. during my childhood and youth days, I used to argue with people who wanted to dominate me. But after being aware that I have HFA, my thinking changed completely.
So, now I just shut down when I come in contact with emotionally manipulative people. Why ? Because I realized that fighting/arguing drains my energy levels. I need huge amount of energy ( emotional and all other types of energy ) to live a fulfilled life and wasting it to fight with others is like wasting my oxygen for others.
I see life as an exchange of energy between all types of life forms. If energy is not given to the right cause and right person, it is a wastage. I rather use my emotional energy to do creative activities and other things rather than wasting it on toxic people/relationships. By shutting down, I mean becoming totally silent in a meditative way instead of lashing out /answering back. Do not give your valuable energy to toxic people-use it to preserve it for other creative/productive purposes.