Hyper thinking/awareness/self conscious or anxiety or ASD

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So, I am on my trek after 2 years, still trying to work out my thought processes/reactions. I'm fitting into the ASD apparently.


I think I am definitely social phobic or is it Avoidant personality disorder.

I could not work with phones in a workplace and I don't even like to use the phone at home if someone is listening etc or may be listening.

When in social situations, I feel that I have to think a lot and that my mind is in overdrive.
The thing is, that I can turn anything into a debate in detail, but that is fatiguing.
I could talk for hours with the right people.

So, I'm not actually sure why I can think about and analyse evrything.
I like to know why things work, I like to know how things work.
I always reach a limit though, where I just get bored, hence why I did terrible at school and I have to learn at my own pace.

My thought is that if I think too much, it perhaps clouds my mind and in a social situation is makes me feel anxious/social phobic.
I want to know WHY I do this, the labels don't matter, just the root causes.


Can anyone shed any light on these thoughts?

I can kind of relate to this. In social situations, my mind is in overdrive and I am hyper-aware and self-conscious. I think for me this is because I get confused and overwhelmed by the idea of myself being interpreted by other people. I am not able to be simultaneously aware of both myself as I experience myself and myself as various other people perceive me. I have to switch from one to the other and it gets very exhausting, unless I decide to just focus on how I experience myself and not on how others experience me. But if I do that, then that limits social interaction and awareness of others. It depends how important it is for me to be part of the group and respected within it.

i feel the same exact way. i tried to explain this in my post. (currently trying to see if i fit the cryteria of Asperger syndrome, so i made a post seeing if anybody feels that i am) but i couldent seem to get it into propper words.

I too can relate to these problems. And wherever possible I'll avoid situations that require me to use the phone or meet strangers. However because I find ways of coping with the isolation this brings, my problems are not apparent to others.

For example I get a lot of phone calls at work - but because I know why someone is calling and know my subject well everyone there thinks I am confident at using the phone. What they don't see is the anxiety I feel if phoning someone I don't know very well. Even calling the doctor presents problems (yet experience tells me I've nothing to fear).

I went to a party last month for the first time in years. This time I went with my girlfriend and merely by her presence I felt reassured and confident. I was also away from my home town and it was good for once to be in a new environment. I would not attempt to attend a social function at work, for example, so that gives the incorrect impression that I am actually anti-social - what I need is to be in a controlled situation and where I can understand what's going on.

I hope this makes sense to you all (I guess it might!).

Oh yeah, that sounds familiar!!

I am very self-conscious, but I'm not sure if it's part of me being ashamed of my AS and my uniqueness.

I'm just worried of what everyone thinks of me, and I keep on thinking that NT people are afraid of me just because, to them, I am ''different'', even though I don't feel different exactly, since in the adult world I've learnt already that everybody's different from eachother and everybody has stupid or strange ways about them, and I don't follow the stereotype, ''just because someone's a bit odd it means they have AS or Autism''. I just take people as they come, and if they don't like me or are horrible then they're not worth knowing. That's my philosophy, and that is very grown-up of me. But, strangely enough, most NTs don't follow that philosophy, and just think, ''ohh you're a bit odd, you have that look about you where I can see you might be a bit different, you ain't worth knowing, go away,'' without even giving me a chance. I thought NTs wouldn't be this silly, and would know better socially, but obviously they don't (I'm not saying ALL are like that, but some are - young NTs mostly). And so all this makes me extremely self-conscious. When I look at people, I can sometimes see what sort of personality they have just by looking at their face. So if I can easily spot these types of things on people, God knows what other people can see when looking at me! Admittedly, I can tell these sorts of things more on women than I can men. Perhaps that is why I get men fancying me, and women glaring at me. I like the men fancying me part, but I don't like women glaring at me - it makes me feel offended.
But sometimes I do get this wrong (only occasionally). In college when a new girl had started our group, I thought she looked a bit Autistic. Even though she wasn't doing anything, she just had some sort of expression in her eyes what told me she had some sort of Autistic disability. But after getting to know her, I discovered she wasn't Autistic at all, but a loud confident NT. I was like, ''OK, I got that wrong then.'' I speak to her on facebook now, and if I didn't know any better I would think she was Autistic, but she isn't. I know you can't always tell, but I really know she isn't. She's no different to my NT brother - who is also a ''typical'' NT.
So hopefully people might see me as ''unconfident dozy weird dork'', but, as far as they know, they might of got it wrong.

Hello Friends!
Nice to meet you there...

if you believe me then read my write, unless I never makes you to believe me.

I'm very know for what do you feel. When we feel difference. there something different with our role of brains.

Yes, I'm very understand that.
do you feel hard to socialize?
do you feel hard to express your feeling?
do you feel you can't change yourself ?
but in the deep inside your heart, I want to change...are you ?

I know the solution. yes...something wrong can be fixed. this is about "our language"
we can chage that "language" such like....
If you was born in Japanese language, so you will expert in that language. but to learn English, you need to study harder. as same as that, with our "language" that different..doesn't mean we can't change. but we only need more effort.

you need AWARENESS! You must aware about your ownself. aware what is wrong, then fixed it ! believe your HEART, instead of your mind. How to change your brain structure inside your head? I don't know but sometimes I feel something sick inside my brain, I believe there something change in my own brain.

you need to BELIEVE....don't believe your mind. your feeling. your worry, your fear, that's not real. I know this is not as easy as speaking right here.

and the important things is you need LOVE. Love that's accept you for anything you are.

maybe you think this is destiny, It can't be changed. it's not about DNA, this is choice, your decision. you decide your self. ...you need to be calm. but how to be CALM ? With what POWER that I can do that ?

If you need to talk with me any further, please feel free to inbox me.

thank you in advance.



cheers...
with love