New topic created from thread: "Trying to talk normally to NTs"
HighLlama wrote:
voleregard wrote:
ToughDiamond wrote:
This "normal hierarchical behaviour" theory might be correct, but the explanation makes no difference to the options for dealing with it, as far as I can see.
True to some extent. While I may not choose to play the hierarchy game in devising options for dealing with it, it still offers something in the way of devising a response that will be effective in the world they understand. For me, the success I've had has come as a result of using this as a model for the motivations of the others involved, whereas before I was just left wondering what just happened. In that way, I find it useful, and it took me a while to understand how relevant the perspective actually is.
ToughDiamond wrote:
I suppose it could be argued that it's so common that there won't be many people left if you reject everybody who's like that, but there's plenty of time to find a few of the many people (which includes a lot of NTs) who don't buy into whatever crappy philosophy it is that advocates being so aggressive.
Maybe on some level it is something people choose to buy into. I think this is largely part of the way they're wired. That may be part of where the innate understanding comes from that the NT has of life, of things they seem to just know that blow by us. They understand that being on this planet is about competition, and aggression is part of making claim to place here, getting what you want instead of being ignored and marginalized.
And they attach to those ideas and seek to comprehend them in practical ways that I know I just dismissed because they didn't seem relevant. The people with ASD who just think everyone is out to help everyone else is going to get steamrollered unless they realize the game being played around them. There may be those who choose to act less on the aggression, though, and those are the people I choose to be around.
Hello Voleregard,
This is my first post, but I felt the need to register after seeing this post. I've been "lurking" here recently, as someone who is undiagnosed but feels strongly they may have Asperger's.
Anyway, the reason I post is that one thing I've felt for sometime is that I view myself more as a mind than a body. I enjoy physical things, but I feel that I probably see a larger disconnect between my mind and body than those that are termed NTs see. I don't know if anyone here would agree with me, but I'm curious, and I mention this only because I wonder if it is easier for an NT to get gratification from physical aggression (and physical activity). For example, while I enjoy physical affection, I most often use music to experience those feelings. Music, to me, is like being caressed. Being absorbed in a song can be like a sexual experience, even though I do enjoy sex a lot with someone I trust (I do have a hard time reading expressions/gestures/tone of voice, though I've had to learn to adapt/"fake" this from an early age). Information and ideas can be as powerful for me as I think sport is for most people. I often feel like my head is a gymnasium or theater, with so much going on, even though my preferred mode physically would be minimal expression and movement. If I'm at a concert, I don't dance and don't show much reaction, except clapping to be polite and show appreciation. Performers hate this, but I don't think they (or most people) realize that inside your head you are having the equivalent of a religious experience. Does this make sense? I'm happy to clarify, and worry I'm throwing too personal an observation out there as a first post, but since my reflection on this topic recently related to your post I felt I should participate.
Greetings fellow llama fan.
Welcome to WP!
What you're describing is familiar to my experience. The idea of finding pleasure in sports is foreign to me, at least not in contact sports, anyway. The way people talk of being drawn to their enjoyment of non-contact physical activities like rock-climbing, gardening, bicycling, etc., has made me conclude I don't derive the same experience or enjoyment that they do.
I do like running and swimming, sports that have smoothness, not jarring effects on the body, even skiing at times, but I think for different reasons than most. I enjoy the feeling that my body is drifting through the space, like I'm darting through the water as it flows around me. I don't get any euphoric feelings or endorphin rush or excitement from feeling my feet pounding on the ground or anything I hear others talking about. And yes to having so much going on mentally that there's little reason to resort to physically engaging with the outside world except for necessity.
Same with music. I go out to hear music, and instead all I get is people around me wanting to talk or dance or eat or do anything but listen to the music. At times they're audible, I like to experience the subtleties, harmonies, slight dissonances. I think I must integrate the sounds in a more internal way than most. But I also like the raucous nature of punk, but not rock. Which makes me think there has to be some kind of depth or intellectual jolt to the music in order to attract my attention, which punk often has and rock often lacks.
This intellectualized, mentalized experience you bring up is something I've been wondering about, lately, as it relates to autism diagnosis. Can a person be highly internalized, somewhat detached from physical experience, in a sense live a highly conceptualized experience and not a physically expressed experience of life and not be autistic or dissociative.
You may be describing a dissociative state and may want to do some searching on that. Or PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). I searched on "dissociation" here at WP and it seems to be something those with ASD experience but it isn't necessarily an aspect of the condition of autism.
If you're wondering if you have autism, that's something only a professional can diagnose. But oddly, the first question I was asked by said professional was, "So what makes you think you have Asperger's?" So it was a bit of a surprise to find that I could not have just walked in the door and gotten an objective assessment of my condition.
Did you ever see the Monty Python Llama sketch?
12 Apr 2015, 4:41 pm
