How do I overcome Confrontation anxiety?

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I have always been afraid of confrontation, even for the slightest things, for eg, confronting my loud neighbors or the jerk that keeps parking in my pre-assigned spot or the pesky kids that knock on my door and try to run away or putting forth my case for a raise to my ex-boss where I had worked etc etc. I am 40+ yet I get extremely nervous when there is a need to stand up for myself. Needlessly to say, this fear of confrontation has caused me a lot of heartache and plenty of lost opportunities.

Any ideas/ resources as to what I can do overcome this?

Are you seeing a therapist?

There's something called Implosion Therapy--where you directly confront your fear by doing what you fear most--in your case, confronting people.

I wish I had an answer. About half the time, I go ahead and confront whomever I need to confront despite the anxiety, and the negative reactions I get reinforce the anxiety. It's an inescapable loop.

No, I am not seeing a therapist.

Funny thing is, sometimes, in the heat of the moment, I am able to confront a person. It is only when some amount of planning is required for a confrontation, that it all goes to pot.

In my case, I find the anxiety paralyzing which often results in inaction on my part.

Me, too. I wish I had an answer. I've struggled with the same problem all my life. I get so nervous that my voice starts shaking if I confront people (or even in some non-confrontational situations). I can hardly finish my sentence. People always take advantage of that.

People tend to be overcome by the confidence that they sense in your attitude/voice. I've had some limited success with confrontations where I didn't care about the consequences too much and so I could comfortably say what I wanted to say. Essentially I didn't give a shít about how I was perceived by others, which gave me confidence. The problem is that I cannot do it in situations that truly matter.

I motivate myself to confront people by thinking of how angry I'll be with myself for letting other people take advantage of me or get away with whatever they are doing wrong.

I rarely confront people because rarely is it worth the bother, but when I do I try to be concise and clearly state my problem. I don't yell and I'm not nasty. I just say what I have to say. And I dont expect a result, it's more just wanting to be heard. You can't tell people what to do. That's rude. But you can make it clear what you want.

I really dislike confrontation, but I overcome the anxiety by brooding over what an injustice is occurring and how much it pisses me off, until I find it kind of hard to restrain myself from telling the person off. Uh, actually I don't recommend this method. lol

NTs confront all the time and are often lauded for standing up for oneself. At least one factor that seems to be at play here is that ASDers are ignorant of the societally acceptable ways to confront.

^This. I struggle with it a lot, but kicking myself in the butt over not taking action feels far worst.

Wasn't he the first "barbarian" to defeat the Romans--about 7 AD or so?

I have a lot of trouble with confrontation myself. I always put it off to the last minute--then "steel" myself for the inevitable blows I will receive because of the confrontation.

It's definitely not one of my strengths!

It stems from a fear of critique which is one of many different aspie traits. I often find myself unable to confront somebody outside my family. As mentioned by another user it is called 'implosive ness' unable to let anger out naturally easily until you finally can't take anymore.

I am just like you, in this matter !
I rarely feel the need to confront others. Because the end result is often a burden upon oneself ( more anxiety, more arguments,more loss of energy ) and the other party walks away with a smile on their face , feeling a sense of accomplishment with their superior verbal skills, which I do not have. Also, I have noticed that people want to fight with others, bully others, put you down and they enjoy confronting you just like that-for no apparent reasons. In this case, it is better not to confront. But when they are out to spoil a good and peaceful environment ( like when I am feeling peace and quiet ) and they are shouting /throwing tantrums for no reason, I tell them what I have to say. Just like androbot01 said-I make myself heard and I make it clear what I want ( i.e. some peace and quiet ) and walk away.