Whenever I see a strangers eyes mines go mad

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DailyPoutine1
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09 Apr 2015, 6:28 am

When a stranger or someone I don't like's eyes get in my field of view I feel weird and I have to look away to feel better. Has this ever happened to anyone else?



Shoggothgoat
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09 Apr 2015, 6:57 am

I dislike eye contact because to me it feels very intimate, which makes it very uncomfortable unless i know that person quite well. Looking away serves as a sort of reset button for me aswell.



DailyPoutine1
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09 Apr 2015, 7:00 am

But whenever I see them no matter if they're looking at me or not I'll feel anxious



Joe90
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09 Apr 2015, 9:18 am

I have trouble with making eye contact with strangers. Well, I have no problem with making eye contact with a stranger if it serves purpose, like paying for items in a shop and having to look at the cashier and say ''thank you'' and gestures like that. Or even when letting someone by or holding the door open for someone, etc etc etc. None of that makes me anxious at all.

But I hate making eye contact with strangers when just walking along the street. It's so awkward when I'm waiting at a bus stop because I like to look ahead down the road to see the bus come, and when people are walking towards me I suddenly don't know where to look. If I carry on looking into the horizon and it's in their direction, I always think that they think I am staring at them, so then they will stare at me to see if I'm staring at them, and I hate being stared at by strangers. It starts up the self-conscious thoughts in my head.

Irrationally I feel that this meeting a stranger's eyes thing is a ''damned if you do damned, if you don't'' situation. I would love it to just be subconscious, but it's harder than you think to turn a conscious action into a subconscious action - especially when anxiety is involved. So I always think that if I do make eye contact with a passing stranger they might think ''why's she looking at me? Does she want something?'' But then if I don't make eye contact they might think ''she looks rather avoidant, why is she so nervous? I'm not going to bite.''
OK I do know that most people don't care whether you look at them or not if you don't know them, but my social phobia makes me too conscious of other people's thoughts about me. Since I gone on Sertraline this anxiety about looking at strangers hasn't bothered me as much as it used to, but I still get anxious about it from time to time.


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09 Apr 2015, 4:20 pm

I hate prolonged eye contact. I can't do it. I spend my whole time every 30 seconds or so looking in another direction or fiddling with my glasses.


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Grahzmann
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09 Apr 2015, 9:52 pm

Similar issues here. I've found that looking at something near the person's eyes or just slightly past them is usually good enough to fool people into thinking you're making eye contact. I naturally look at mouths. Real eye contact for more than a few seconds makes me uncomfortable and, if I can manage it, it makes me feel like I'm staring the person down.



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10 Apr 2015, 10:26 am

That reminds me of Michelle Dawson in this video. Notice how she's shifting her eyes from side to side, but blinks whenever she's about to actually make eye contact?



AliceKathleen
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10 Apr 2015, 11:52 am

I am afraid I am going to say what I think... and it may not be nice! Ie, "You are fat!" "What a dumb haircut!",
"Go get your teeth cleaned!" or "Why does anyone still have pimples??" See, not nice at all. I am afraid that if
I look in their eyes, they will see what I think, or it will burst out of me! So, I avoid eye contact. Just to show
I am "regular", I meet clerks' or others' eyes just once during a conversation. I am afraid that the impulse I have
to either say something, or kiss them, or push them, will be expressed if I look at them. With people I know
and like, it's not so bad. Another reason to love animals, I have only love and awe when I look in their eyes!

Alice
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Grahzmann
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10 Apr 2015, 3:10 pm

AliceKathleen wrote:
I am afraid that the impulse I have
to either say something, or kiss them, or push them, will be expressed if I look at them.

Good to know I'm not the only person with weird impulsive thoughts like that.



SilverProteus
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10 Apr 2015, 7:27 pm

DailyPoutine1 wrote:
When a stranger or someone I don't like's eyes get in my field of view I feel weird and I have to look away to feel better. Has this ever happened to anyone else?


I don't know. Would you describe it as the flight or fight mechanism, this feeling you have?


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DailyPoutine1
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10 Apr 2015, 9:10 pm

SilverProteus wrote:
DailyPoutine1 wrote:
When a stranger or someone I don't like's eyes get in my field of view I feel weird and I have to look away to feel better. Has this ever happened to anyone else?


I don't know. Would you describe it as the flight or fight mechanism, this feeling you have?

Yuh, its also that I can't stand looking in the eyes of people I hate (like that annoying 12 year old in my bus whos noisy and loud) Whenever she looks behind her to talk with her "friends" and I'm in her way I have to look out the window or I'll become extremely irritated



slave
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11 Apr 2015, 12:46 am

DailyPoutine1 wrote:
When a stranger or someone I don't like's eyes get in my field of view I feel weird and I have to look away to feel better. Has this ever happened to anyone else?


what does 'mines go mad' mean????

it makes no sense

please be clear



DSR
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11 Apr 2015, 1:22 am

I've learned to keep eye contact. My problem is when i look at someones face, my focus becomes so sharp that everything around the face turns darker. Which makes me starring instead and blinking my eyes trying to get "unfocused" which makes me feeling odd and look away..

anyone else has this focus problem?

Edit, this is mostly an "interview" problem, where i have to sit 1 to 1 with a new person