anyone get frustrated when someone isnt as excited as you?

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campboy92
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12 Apr 2015, 10:02 pm

ok i love pop culture (yes, i know - you never hear about aspies that like pop culture but it fascinates me #breakingstereotypes) and my sister and i were watching the mtv movie awards and i wanted her to watch with me and she wouldnt look at the tv and kept paying attention to her phone and i guess there is a desire i have for others to be as excited as me about the things im enjoying or love and they never like them as much as me so it makes me feel isolated and cold like we arent connecting



ajpd1989
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12 Apr 2015, 10:28 pm

Not really.
I don't get excited very often, and when I do it's almost always about things that others around me don't understand (sciences, medicine, engineering), so I don't expect them to be.



ToughDiamond
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13 Apr 2015, 6:28 am

It can still disappoint me to find that others don't share my enthusiasm for this or that, yes. I believe it's common in ordinary society for people to fake enthusiasm in order to spare the feelings of the would-be sharer, so I reckon it's normal. It can feel like rejection, because sharing is what companionship is about. It's worse if good company is rare for a person.

It's less of a problem for me since I realised how minority-appeal some of my interests are. I used to be completely mind-blind about it, I used to feel that if I was fascinated by something, then everybody else must be fascinated by it too. So these days I try to remember to check with people before I try to share, e.g. "do you like computer programming?" Actually, as people tend to be so confusingly polite, it's often better to ask them less directly, e.g. "have you ever done any computer programming?"

I've noticed this ever since I was a young child, and felt sorry for my parents when my choices of toys weren't the ones they recommended. I read a story in which a boy was given the option of choosing the reward of his choice. The other kids each enthusiastically suggested things, and I thought it was very sad that he had to hurt their feelings by rejecting most of their ideas. I don't know if I had extreme empathy or was just too emotionally attached to objects and pastimes, seeing the rejection of a thing I liked as a rejection of me.



Last edited by ToughDiamond on 13 Apr 2015, 6:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

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13 Apr 2015, 6:36 am

It's the opposite ... I get frustrated with people who expect me to be as enthusiastic as they are, no matter what they're enthusiastic about.

Someone paints a picture, writes a poem or cooks a meal, and "It's very nice" seems to be an insult to them. What are they expecting, fireworks and a brass band?



nick007
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13 Apr 2015, 11:08 pm

I'm too caught up in enjoying the experience to even notice if others are excited or not.


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