Adamantium wrote:
Afraid to use imagination? Not at all. Afraid to express it for fear of ridicule and embarrassment? Absolutely. It seems to me that started around second-third grade. Experience is a harsh teacher.
This is similar to how it is for me. I'm a (wannabe) writer, I've written hundreds of thousands of words, including a fantasy serial that's well over a million words long and still going, and I almost constantly daydream about my characters and stories...but aside from posting the writing to the Web, where nobody bothers looking at it, I don't share it anymore. This trait (imagination) was considered pretty cool when I was in elementary school. When I entered junior high suddenly it was just stupid, and nothing to be proud of. It earned me nothing but ridicule and ignoring, then.
My mind literally overflows with everything I imagine but it has nowhere to go. It's just been criticized, rejected, and ignored so many times. Even work on my writing has almost completely stalled, I've just lost so much heart because nobody else cares. What is the point of having such an imagination if you have nobody to share it with?
To this day I occasionally run into former teachers who ask me if I've gotten anything published yet, and they always seem disappointed when I say no. I don't know why they're disappointed though, that implies I actually had potential, which I obviously didn't. Else I'd have people actually interested in my work.
So, no, I'm not afraid to USE my imagination, since I can't even STOP using it, it's just constant, like breathing. But EXPRESSING it, that's another story. I learned the hard way not to.
I just spend the entire day in my own head and nobody even knows; they merely assume I'm inattentive.
If they only knew.