Is crying wrong?

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I've been told I'm not supposed to cry, And don't understand why this is a big deal. Generally, I cry if someone does something nasty to me that I don't understand. Occasionally I might be angry, but if they set out to mislead and be mean, it's confusing and usually I'd cry.

It's been awhile since I cried in public, but I don't understand what's wrong with crying when someone mistreats me that other people, even when they disapprove of what was done, think crying to be wrong.

Or how one can avoid crying in the face of someone being mean....other than to not care?

There's nothing wrong with crying.

But I don't think one should cry on front of somebody who needs someone with strength. If somebody's having a meltdown, say, it wouldn't help the person with the meltdown if YOU were crying as well. You have to keep a stiff upper lip in these instances.

Also: if somebody close to you is in great pain in the hospital, I don't think it would be taken too well if you were crying, despite you being in good health and not in the hospital.

Also: if somebody's depressed and you're not, it wouldn't make sense to cry over some trivial thing.

If I see someone crying in the street, I know it's none of my business--but I feel the urge to try to comfort the person, anyway.

What I hate, though, is "crocodile tears"--crying to manipulate, to get what one wants. I've had people try that on me all the time. Sometimes it succeeds, sometimes it doesn't.

I think people see it as lack of self control and I suppose that is accurate. It's just hard to understand people pushing, provoking, being mean....and than they point their fingers (metaphorically) at me for being weird if I cry .

I agree with you I try to be and appear calm for others who are suffering, that makes total sense and I get that, I just don't understand people saying everyone needs this all the time, or why they say I'm bad if I show weakness. I try to conform....it's exhausting of course

If you cried in front of me, I'd probably react by asking "What's the matter?"

If you were my lover, I'd put my arms around your shoulders, and pull your head on my shoulder.

It is still more acceptable for a woman to cry in public than it is for a man to cry in public.

I think of crying as being a pretty private thing, rather than something to do in public.

I am sure plenty of my issues are from not crying enough and holding it in to much. That is just how we men were trained back in the 60's and 70's. I see men and powerful men crying on TV all the time these days but not to many women. Maybe public women don't do it because of the stereotype?

I do think we all need release once in a while be crying or stimming

I think crying when no one is around is fine.

I'm put off by someone crying in front of others. I keep away from such a person. Crying makes it impossible to talk and resolve whatever issue at hand. Sometimes crying causes unfair emotional bias in resolving problems. Some even know they can manipulate others by crying and try to use it. How I react to someone crying depends on the reason/situation, but in general I just keep away.

EDIT on -> no

Crying brings up uncomfortable emotions in me because I feel like I can't rectify the problem the crying person is having.

I have no objection to crying, per se. It's just sad to see someone crying.

I think people feel uncomfortable with stimming because it reminds one of a epileptic episode.

People are scared when a person seems like he/she is not in control of his/her body.

They've seem too many monster movies!

It's because people want to show that they are "in control" in public. It's a human instinct, really---probably even an instinct common to all animals. It's a survival instinct.

They don't want to seem vulnerable. They don't want their vulnerabilities to be revealed to other people.

They want to maintain a façade of strength in public.

I think the "control in public" thing was well-established in me by the age of five.

I was born in 1961. In 1966, men and boys did NOT cry in public, or even in private.

I know a lot of Aspies seem to think that an NT will start crying if he/she sees somebody else crying, but it's a tad more subtle than that. I remember last year I was crying on the phone in the middle of a busy street because it was dark and the bus was really late, and I kept on thinking I was going to get murdered or something. And I saw other people giving me that critical look, as if I was stupid or mad. They looked like they were about to laugh.

It seems to be very against the social standards to cry in public if you are over 5. Yes, I remember a few years ago when my little cousin was 8, and he was having a crying fit in the street because his mum wanted him to come indoors and get into his pajamas, and he wanted to stay outside with me and his older brothers. And everybody who was walking by was giving him funny looks, but when I see toddlers crying nobody bats and eyelid. But because this kid was 8, he was getting all negative attention from people.