Is it ok to live without self esteem?

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I mean, I don't think I had self esteem since I was a teenager and I'm now 34. I literally hate myself. When people give me a compliment, I don't agree with it and tell people I don't like it. So does anyone else have the same problem?

I don't understand the question.

Are you saying that you would prefer to hate yourself, over not hating yourself?

To the OP: it doesn't seem like you are happy with the way you are. So I would say no, it is not okay to live that way.

Having an appropriately high opinion of oneself is necessary to healthy emotional functioning. That's my opinion.

Hating yourself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

it is never okay to despise yourself.




find something in you that you like. find some thing you don't hate ahout yourself (because it IS there) and, grow it. work on it.

"ok" in what way?

If it is "ok" with you, then that is all that matters for your practical purposes

The other thing is you can't measure self esteem

Seriously I reckon that a lot more precious lil "people" have way too much self esteem, than not enough self esteem

"If you can't beat them, join them"

You claim that between your teen years and age 34, you have had no self esteem. According to your post, then, it is ok with you, to not have self esteem

Hatred is a strong emotion

Someone else's compliments could be wrong, right, or neither

You have to be more specific

Which compliment sounded wrong?

Anyhow, I find compliments just a judgmental as criticism

The speaker overvalues his or her opinion

Its possible to live without self esteem but you won't live a very happy life because you will put up with a lot of stuff that you don't really need to I guess.

You can live anyway you want, there is no rule-set. But it's better to accept yourself the way you are and that you have qualities and deserve a place in this world. You are a beautiful person, just like everybody else and have your opinions and reasoning for everything. Be you and live your life and please don't hate yourself.

From being told I am worthless all my life, I know how it feels and think very bad about myself. Remember, thoughts are thoughts. You decide what's true, those are your decisions, not your thought's.

Wish you the best and hope one day you can look in the mirror and love yourself.

I just get by day by day but I don't have a choice about the self hatred. Its been their since grade 12 for me and I'm now 34 and its gonna stay that way, OK you guys?

No, it's not OK. I can't do anything about your choice, but I still say that's not fair to yourself.

It is very difficult to break out of that cycle. But what you are essentially doing is being dishonest. That is the actual issue. You need to be honest about yourself to yourself. Whether the quality in you is good or bad, you should be honest about it. For the exact same reason that you should not puff yourself up and pretend that you are better than you are, you should also now put yourself down and pretend that you are worse than you are. Just let things be what they are. You don't have to assign value judgements to them. Just acknowledge what they truly and actually are. If someone gives you a compliment, just acknowledge it for what it is and just say thank you. Self esteem will create itself or go on its own. You don't have to create it or take it away. That is not how it works. You can do things that build it or damage it but it will have a life of its own and just respond to your thought patterns. So what you need to do is learn to simply be honest. That is the most important thing. Don't worry about the self esteem part, just always be honest with yourself and with others.

(to the original post)

it's always ok to Live.
Living and having self esteem is definitely a lot less painful but it's really your call.
Living, having self esteem and also thriving is EVEN less painful.
Living, having self esteem, thriving and then being able to not judge others for not being you is REALLY REALLY GOOD.
Finding ways to exploit your own 'would be weaknesses' so that they become strengths is enormously satisfying..so..GOOD.
hmmmmm... Humility is fine...But radical pessimism would lead to inaccurate judgements and you COULD hurt others and they in turn might be damaged in ways that lead them to knowingly or unknowingly hurt yet others.

"Self Esteem" is kind of pushed a little too much. Some amount of skepticism toward oneself is healthy IMO, but really what you probably would like the best is just a sort of reasonable balance where things make decent enough sense, you're not often wrong about things, nobody is super unhappy and everyone can just go about their lives.

Sound good?

I think just... focus on identifying a reasonable amount of good stuff about yourself and it's up to you if you want to be happy about that or not, just so you can be sure your thinking is pretty clear and for the rest build yourself into something that is interesting to you. I am not saying you have to like what you build but it should at least be interesting to you.

thinking about if you are happy or not too much with time you could be using to make SURE you are reasonably happy is not very good. It doesn't really make very much sense. Also whining about being unhappy about things that are solvable within a close to similar amount of time...that also makes no sense. (I am not saying you are doing that just that it's a thing to not do).

You have to be careful though. Toxic people tend to attract to and latch on to those with low to no self esteem. Usually such people are the easiest to be manipulated and controlled which is why you really have to keep your wits about you if you continue this path.

Neptune k h

Yes it is okay to live without self esteem

Your post says you have already done so from when you were a teen to age 34

Stranger's on the internet can't take that away from you

What happened in grade 12 to change your self-image?

Like everything else, moderation is the key. I don't like the term "self-esteem." Self-confidence is more appropriate. Too much confidence isn't good, nor is too little.