ToM and Self-absorption

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or, "Do we take ourselves too seriously?"

I'm asking because I do and I can't seem to help it. And I've noticed this in some autistic friends. Often I find myself distracted by worries and fear as to how I will be interpreted to the extent that my reactions become awkward and unnatural.

I think this is a result of repeated social failure. But I recognize that ToM skills are important to participate in society. So do I continue to monitor other people's social needs or should I just screw it and be my self-absorbed self?

People want sincerely, but I am sincerely disinterested.

This is fairly typical of social anxiety. Most NTs feel the same way sometimes (especially in high-stakes interaction, like asking out a potential partner), but people with social anxiety feel this way a lot more often.



You need a balance between your needs and theirs.

I think the choices are:

1. Display your total disinterest of others, and be left completely alone to contemplate yourself in privacy.

2. Pretend to take an interest in others, but spend about half the time talking about yourself.

Good advice. I need to get better at expressing myself naturally rather than staying quiet.