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Hi everyone. This is my first post on here and I just signed up so hello. I apologize in advance for not being able to put my feelings into words and my tendency to write (extremely) lengthy paragraphs.

I don't really know if I have Asperger's/Autism or not. A while ago (3 years, I think), I was online and someone I followed posted a link of an "Asperger's quiz", and I took it and became a bit concerned because I got a higher score than "normal". But that was a long time ago, and I hadn't thought anything of it until recently. I was online (once again-- do I ever get off?) and I saw an article about a research project to determine if transgender persons are more likely to have Asperger's/Autism or vice versa. From the little information I found about the study, it showed that transgender people, especially Female-to-Male (FtM) people, were found to have more signs of Asperger's/Autism than cisgender people. I am FtM transgender, and I have a friend who has Asperger's and is also FtM. So I did some research (okay, /a lot/ of research) and I'm quite concerned that I may have it as well. So everything that I'll talk about is mostly based off of the research I've done.

When I was younger, I had a lot of difficulty making friends. My sister was just fine at it, and I often got upset with her because she had more friends than me. Since we're twins, we had a lot of the same friends, although it was usually her that went out and made them. Many of the friends I have now are the same people I hung around in elementary school. However, lots of my friends moved away when I was younger, and I couldn't seem to make any new friends on my own. I was friendly towards the people in my class, but for some reason, everyone thought I was strange and seemed to do their best to avoid me. In fact, during the 3rd grade, my teacher actually had to force people to play with me. I still have a lot of difficulty making new friends and keeping friendships. Sometimes I don't talk with my friends for weeks, or months, and when I do try to pick up where we left off, they're not there anymore. A lot of the time I take a while to reply because I just don't know how to respond, or how to say what I want to say.

Another thing is that a lot of things go over my head. 2 years ago, when I first starting dating my partner, I didn't know they liked me until they flat out told me "I like you". I told my sister and my friends about it, and they said things along the lines of "well someone finally caught on" and "how could you not have known?" so apparently everyone else knew before.
Sometimes I'm a very sarcastic person, but sometimes a lot of sarcasm goes right past me too. I also have a lot of trouble telling if someone's joking or not. My class almost voted me "most gullible" for senior superlative. I do enjoy making jokes, but most of the jokes I make are plays-on-words or very obvious "bad" jokes.
I guess another aspect of this is that sometimes people get upset with me for taking things too literally. Or, I'll say something and other's will get upset with me for saying it, but I fail to understand what was wrong with what I said. This happened when I was younger more often than now. Also, sometimes I don't get why people think something is funny or why someone feels a certain way or things like that. (I actually took a Psychology course in hopes of learning why people do specific things, but all it taught about was how children develop )
I suppose another thing about that is I have a hard time helping people feel better when they're upset or giving advice. My partner is upset a lot, but it always seems like I just make things worse when I try to help. Sometimes I also end up feeling really bad, because I feel like I make everything about me. But maybe I do.

I've also read that a lot of people with Asperger's/Autism like to have routine. I don't really know where I fall in this, since I can vary with my routine. But I do like to have a routine and I'm not a big fan of surprises. Every day I get up around the same time (to the minute, usually) and I do the same things in the same order and I wear the same thing almost every day (not without washing, of course!). That may or may not be related at all though.

Something else I've read is that people with Asperger's/Autism have limited interests. Again, I'm not really sure if I do this or not. I like a variety of things, but usually what I focus on is music and languages. I play 2 instruments and I'm trying to learn 2 more (I want to learn basically everything), I'm Drum Major of my school's Marching Band, and I might minor in music in college. I also speak Japanese and I spend a lot of time trying to learn other languages. I do find it very hard to get the hang of languages on my own though (my Japanese was learned at school), whether that makes a difference or not. I also very much enjoy to learn new words and I used to keep a list of words I liked, until I lost it.
When I was younger, I liked dolphins and the color pink. Literally EVERY piece of clothing I had was pink. Also, I've read that a lot of Autistic people don't like to wear certain fabrics of clothing, and until I was in the 5th or 6th grade, I WOULD NOT wear jeans. My mother tried to get me to wear them, but I wore sweatpants or leggings instead. I don't know why; I guess I just didn't like how they felt. But, I digress.

I've also read that people with Asperger's/Autism have poor executive function skills, like turning in homework and keeping track of things. I tend to lose things a lot (like my word list) and I'm currently failing two classes because of not turning in my homework. But again, this may or may not be related. Another thing I've seen is that people with Asperger's have trouble making eye contact, and once I started paying attention to it, I've noticed that a lot of the time, I just.. don't.. make any eye contact at all.

I do have some concerns about it though. For example, lots of people I've heard of with Asperger's/Autism are very very good at math and science. However, this may just be a stereotype. I'm going to major in Chemistry in college, but I'm extremely poor at math. Sometimes I still have to count on my fingers for basic addition. I'm not too great at science either, but I'm interested in it. However, music is very mathematical.

Another concern is genetics. I know that science still hasn't found a cause for Asperger's/Autism (and that there may not be one), but if there is a genetic link, I'm confused as to why I have such difficulty with these things, but my twin doesn't. We're identical twins (monozygotic) so we have the same DNA and genes and all, but she doesn't seem to have the problems I do. I also have a cousin with Autism, but I'm not sure what he's like since I haven't seen him since I was 6, because he lives across the country and doesn't like to fly.

Lastly, I'm wondering why, if I do have Asperger's, I never noticed before. Or why nobody else noticed before. I'm 17 right now, and I'll be 18 in a few months.

I know nobody on here is a licensed doctor or anything, so I guess what I'm really looking for is advice. I'm absolutely not trying to stereotype or be offensive or make assumptions or anything like that. And I'm definitely not trying to self-diagnose. I do have a therapist that I go to about other issues, and I've mentioned this before, but we haven't talked about it much. However, she did say something about me having problems with social development, but I don't know how that fits in.

There's a lot more I could say, but I think I've made this too long already. So, I guess if someone can help at all, that'd be great. Either way, thanks for reading.

It seems like you do have some traits. If I were you, I'd go to my MD and tell him or her that I want to be tested, and he'll refer you to someone. It's best to get it checked out now while you still are under your parent's insurance. I just got my diagnosis at 30 and wish I would've known when I was younger.

I forgot to add that it's vital to be referred to someone who specializes in autism. Most doctors (and counselors) just don't have the proper training to know if you are or aren't on the spectrum. Good luck!

First things first, I LOVE your username. Kokosnuss is my favourite German word. I can't even say it without grinning.

Going by your spellings I'm going to assume you're American, so I can't give any in-depth advice about how to get a diagnosis. It may be different over there than in Britain. But I think it's definitely a step in the right direction. Even if just to know for sure.

You definitely show autistic traits, but there's a difference between that and having autism, and I don't know you well enough to diagnose you personal. A professional will, though. In fact, can your therapist help get you a diagnosis appointment?

Oh, and it's great that you've come here for advice. I hope you find what you're looking for here.

Hello again
Thank you both for your comments.
I picked kokosnuss because my friend from Germany loves coconuts! I like your username as well And yes, I am American. Is getting a diagnosis different in Britain?

I'm definitely going to try to bring it up next time I have an appointment, but that's not for another 3 weeks. She was completely booked until then...
But I'm pretty stuck on how to bring it up in the first place as well. I've already mentioned it a little, but only in passing. Last time I did, we didn't have enough time to discuss it.

It sounds like you have a fair number of traits, enough that getting referred to a diagnostician would probably be worthwhile. Do you have any sensory sensitivities or self-stimulatory behaviours? These are not required symptoms, but they do tend to be fairly common among those on the spectrum. As for the twin thing, studies have shown that when one monozygotic sibling has autism, there's a 90% chance the other will have it as well, so the rates are pretty high, but not an automatic disqualifier for your having the disorder. Keep us posted, and welcome to WP!

I don't know if I do any kind of stimulation... I do tend to fiddle with things a lot, like my jacket zipper. I used to play with my hair a lot when it was longer.
Sensory sensitivities.. I also don't know. When I was a kid, I was really afraid of automatic toilets for some reason. Ahaha, I think I didn't like them because they went off unexpectedly and were so loud. I used to run out of the bathroom so I wouldn't have to hear the sound. Does that count? I don't know.

I'm sorry for being so unsure about so many things.

As an autistic psych major, I suggest you take a course on social psychology for that. It taught me a lot about why people act the way they do.

Well for one thing we have the NHS and free healthcare over here. I wouldn't want to suggest going down certain routes that might cost a bundle over there. But the basic method is going to your GP (family doctor), and asking for a referral to mental health services (although technically having autism isn't itself a mental health issue, that's the department that deals with it... I guess because it's much more accurate than sending you to the fracture clinic. ). From there you see a psychiatrist and they give you the diagnosis, if you have it.

Other than the free healthcare, I'm pretty sure that's about the same way as it is over here.
Although, I don't think that you have to go trough so many people here. I've never gone to an "actual doctor" (GP, family doctor, etc.) about mental health issues. I just made an appointment with my therapist one day and kept going back. But I'm sure that some people do go to a GP first though.

But can a therapist give a diagnosis (about anything, not just autism) or does it have to be someone like a psychiatrist?
I go to the same therapist my friend did, and she's the one who first told him that he had autism. I don't know if he ever went to see anyone else about it though.

Some counselors are psychologists. They can give a diagnosis, but you really should go to a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in ASDs. A typical psych doctor doesn't usually have the training to diagnose high functioning individuals who have adapted in various ways to blend in with NTs. You should get a neuropsychological evaluation from a specialist.

Actually, now that I think about it, I don't know if my therapist is a psychologist or not. I know some other people who work at the center are, but I never really noticed if she is or not.. She's the same one my friend went to though, so I know she's not like, someone completely without accreditation. If that's the right word to use.

Edit: I checked and she's a LPC (licensed professional counselor?), but I don't know if that means she can give a diagnosis or not.