need tools for shaping my day/life and avoiding depression

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Every time I ask about this, people seem to casually brush it aside as if it's the wrong question, like "oh you just do life, you don't think about it or plan it or try to understand it." It really infuriates me because I spend a lot of days wasting my time on the internet, thinking "what should I be doing instead? what CAN I do? what do I need?" and a to-do list only answers the first question.

I'm not sure what approach to take. I'm trying to remember the different problems I have, but my memory is so poor.

I only remember right now, and right now part of me doesn't want to do anything at all. Another part of me finds that really frustrating and boring and depressing.

I know with children, you're supposed to give them choices. You HAVE to go out, but you can pick which coat to wear, or whether we go to the museum or the zoo. I don't know if that would work on me. I'm a little old for that.

But you also have to pay attention to your needs. Make sure you're not pushing yourself when you're already exhausted.

It is SO DIFFICULT to care for an animal properly! EVERY HUMAN needs to know how to do this, because they are both the animal and the animal care-taker. So difficult to be both. For the care-taker to be burdened with the problems of the animal without any defenses against it. The care-taker needs to be above that so he can properly see to the animal's needs.

I've been trying to figure out what to do in the morning to get going. I haven't been able to do anything at all. I brush my teeth and pee as soon as I get up. then I usually eat right away. then I want to sit on the computer for at least a few hours. I haven't been able to "go for a walk" or anything else first thing in the morning.

Sometimes I get really lost. I forget why I'm even alive. What's my purpose? My purpose isn't on this to-do list. So I go desperately looking for purpose. on the internet. rarely do I find it.
I'm not sure how to connect myself to the things I need at the moment. purpose, choice, positive things, friends... (doesn't help that I don't have friends)

I know the sense of being lost and confused you mean. It looks like living life comes so easily and naturally to people. When I started therapy, I had the idea that I would "fix" myself, and then get back on track and start living, but it doesn't work that way. For a long time I couldn't think about taking a step forward or any kind of progress, even though I was horribly unhappy. It finally got to the point though, where I'm just fed up with how things are and of being in this rut. I guess it's somewhat comparable to how most addicts hit bottom before they really consider recovery. I got to the point where I could think about where I'm at and where I need to go without needing to run or hide, now I'm working on dealing with the problems I've recognized. For me, this entails passing my drivers exam so that I can drive myself to and from work before I apply at the local video store (which I think will be a healthy starting and anchoring point to branch out socially), so even something as small as studying that little booklet feels like huge progress. I think what you have to do is get to the point where you can comfortably address what problems you have, and then find a way to deal with them. It may take a long time to make what may seem to other to be small steps, but just try to take it day by day.

Tools for dealing with depression?

I have been doing this for years now.

I think that I kind of have something to say about it as well.

Depression is a state of mind. There are other states of mind other than depression. If one is euphoric then it is likely linked to seeing abunance in possibilities and sensing the self and the world as it seems it really is where depression takes control over that.

Euphoria can happen to anyone because the brain is so variable in its functions and, therefore, it is very much possible to have more energy and to find the "thrill" in life and to seek things and to entertain us in as it may seem as to be unlimited possibilities. We see all the options available when are mind is "cured". But could this be possible or at least be imagined? The mind usually can find confidence in itself of what is happening. When there is depression, there appears to be almost nothing or anger, struggling, and confusion. But maybe depression is the true state of mind...

However, there are differenent sensing of euphoria. It is never a completely "successful" in one although one may think that they are reaching that success at it... It is like imagining but sensing the world is like an imagination anyway.

Depression is also a state of mind linked to problem solving. Its also when you don't think that you know anything and everything seems to get worse but I went through that and came out of it. The brain recycles its old information everyday. Old signals will get tranformed into new ones: the ones that are causing mental fog etc. The brain tries to make sense of the fog. Then you should come out of it.

I also think that I remembered that neuroscience studies showed that REM sleep patterns is increased when there is a depressive state.

Remember also that there are different perspectives of how things are to be. It seems like usually people affilicted see that depression and low energy is a bad thing and it can be dominate in its biology but there is not enough evidence to tell what is to happen to us. An example was that I used to be told I had problems related to that diagnostic crap like "formal thought disorder" and that my thinking was a "word salad". I really was confused back then but I wasn't stupid. I came along ways from those 5 to 7 years ago(when I was a teenager). I still got confused a lot even a couple years after that but it was less severe.

The same goes for how to deal with other people. I used to think of stuff like "I can't deal with people" or that "they are not a part of me or my life" but now my perspective is different. Now things have different reasons why they are the way they are and that I don't judge a situation by its error. I see things have more meaning and purpose for the way that they are.