Do you speak directly?

Post Reply New Topic

I seem to have two settings - speak directly or shut up. I also tend to be quite clear.
I was curious if this is the same with other autistics. Listening to someone speak in a group this week I noted a difference - they tended to waffle in a long-winded way, straying from the topic often, and at least half of the words used seemed to be "filler" words - um, er, like, so, you know, just, really, etc.
This person of course may have had any number of reasons for speaking in this fashion, whether they were nervous or uncertain of themselves, or it was an affectation of a particular social identity (they happened to be young, queer and "alternative") but they did this to such an extent that I began to lose track of what they were actually talking about. Once I noticed it to the extreme in this person, I watched for it in different people in the group, and did find it to a lesser degree. It didn't distract me from following their conversation, but was present nonetheless.
Me, however, I noted it wasn't there. I stated what I needed to in order to communicate the information, and that was it. Does speaking directly relate to autism or just me?

I use the filler words such as "like, so, you know, just, really" and especially: "What was it called?"<starts stimming to focus while thinking hard>"The thing you take when you want to peel something... Ah! A vegetable peeler!" because sometimes I cannot recall the right word to describe something.

I also try to describe stuffs I am talking about the best I can so I give a lot examples and use way more words than needed because I am afraid of being misunderstood if I just say it directly(it happened before, people add their own interpretations if what you say allows them to interpret it their own way).
And people tend to talk as soon as I take a break so I can't help but put fillers such as "ohs" and "ahs" to let them know it isn't their turn to talk yet. If they prevent me from talking when I am in middle of it I won't be able to hear what they are about to say because I will be too focused on my own monologue that stays unfinished.

My impression is that people in the US see things in black and white, so are usually very direct. In the UK we tend to be subtle. We can be pleasant whilst stabbing people in the back. This has nothing to do with being autistic. I can be subtle and used to be capable of sarcasm.

It just occurred to me, I didn't literally mean stabbing people in the back. Was that being indirect?

You were using a common idiom which 99% of people over four years of age understand.

Oh my gosh yes.. I always speak directly (although I may go into a lot of detail about that particular topic). I never ever use filler and it annoys me to no end when someone does not get directly to the point- but instead waffles and takes a stroll through the neighborhood on their way to the reason they're speaking.

I sometimes ramble off topic & use filler words but I have ADD & dyslexia on top of my Aspergers

I tend not to be direct. When I do speak, I tend to be honest.

"What was it called?"<starts stimming to focus while thinking hard>"The thing you take when you want to peel something... Ah! A vegetable peeler!" because sometimes I cannot recall the right word to describe something.


This is like, 50% of my speech. I lose track of my own thought during it. I generally don't stim during it though. I will often look away or close my eyes though.


There's a reason I like the written word so much!

When in a group, the pressure is on when it's my turn to speak, I start stammering as most people in the group are able to talk fast and clear, I try to keep up the pace, what you called filler words seem just like standard words I say in everyday life whoever is listening. This does happen to be a disabled group in an agency specialising in my condition, one or two people in the group do start to 'waffle' on in a different language which could be construed as a stereotype of autism, which may not be further from the truth; though in my experience, speaking directly usually involves a wider vocabulary which I don't really have and I hear terms I don't understand but the others do. So I could be a victim of indirect speech but also to not understanding it aswell.







PS: I like waffles

My natural tendency is to be very direct, but I've learned to try not to be because it can offend people. Sometimes I rephrase something in my head about 5 times before I say it to avoid that. However if I'm caught off guard, I'm more likely to be very blunt and direct.

The times I am prone to rambling, are when I'm explaining something to a person who doesn't already know what I'm talking about, especially if they don't show any signs of understanding.