I don't know how to explain this without coming across as arrogant- which is why I find it hard to talk about this sometimes, because I don't mean it to sound like that, but I'm hoping here people won't judge.
I'm studying a film degree and for our final project we have a practical assignment to reshoot the final scene of one of the films we have studied, following the same narrative, but visually interpreting it in our own way. I was made director in our group and so it made sense I kind of became a leader ish figure in the group, organising everyone. We got the shooting done with a few hiccoughs but no major problem. However, now we're at the editing stage I'm finding my patience working very hard to keep control.
Although I am aware this is likely not the reality of the situation, this is what it feels like: we spent 2 hours in the editing suite yesterday and I spent the whole time chanting to myself that no I could not just take over and do it myself, though I kept wanting to because I had to keep explaining this I felt we obvious like that we can't use the second take because yes the action follows the one third rule but the frame is not balanced and so it's actually a bad shot, and wanting to just do it myself to cut the odd millisecond and replay it and basically be a perfectionist whilst instead having to sit there spitting time codes I was reading to get the right sections and trying to explain how we can't combine the sound on these two takes because the direction of movement is different and if you listen it sounds artificial because the echo is manipulated- and no we can't just put the clips one after the other there needs to be a rhythm to it that manipulates the heartbeat.
And again today (I was sick last night so I stayed in bed this morning so have just been emailing with the guy today) having to explain that the music tracks can actually be split to use as phrases and the 'boring' one is there to underscore the rhythm and build tension hence the repetitive nature and that yes you can just split the scene rather than overlaying the close up etc.
And although I know logically it's just that I naturally listen for edit transitions in stuff I watch and count the shot lengths and make notes on the framing because I enjoy it so I probably just have a tiny bit more experience, but it feels, and I've felt this a few times when discussing stuff in groups on my course, like half the time I want to yell CAN YOU NOT SEE THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT?! It feels sometimes like everyone else is so slow to get the things you get and sometimes, it's an awful thought, I get this feeling that people are a lot more stupid than I'd thought.
This is the bit I chastise myself for because I know it's a nasty thought to have. I know better than most that everyone has their level of ability and that most people can learn with patience and the right approach. I also know I'm in first year and so a lot of people are still adjusting. I know that I am not always the 'best in the class' so it's unfair of me to think like that.
But I think my issue is, I went from a highly academic school where I wasn't the best, and I was surrounded by a load of people who did things like learn a language in 6 weeks for fun or took part in national maths challenges and so I constantly felt stretched and like I was learning the whole time and loving it- to university where I expected something similar, and yet found I was actually, despite the fact everyone had to have done well/probably better than me in exams to have gotten there, appearing to be the one stretching everyone else.
Now I'm sure when I move into second year etc. and people are specialising more I will get that feeling back again and meet a lot of people better than me, but I ended up taking a couple of years before going to university because of problems that turned out to be Aspergers related, but as I wasn't diagnosed at the time, were just scary and confusing. And since I've left school I've had this creeping feeling of, well, boredom. Which is ridiculous because half the time it's my own fault, I don't structure myself and get stuff done enough, and it's not like I'm this genius who is bored by 'average humans' or something silly. But I just don't feel stretched any more. And I think my issue is more- I feel uncomfortable being in the position of knowing the most (or appearing to) about the area we're talking about and having to try to point out correction/suggestions to people I don't really know without making them dislike me.
Because I feel stupid if I let us not do as well as I believe we can because I won't speak up about something, and I am trying to be kind in the way I communicate, but I also find it very hard to read whether they're becoming annoyed by me.
Does anyone have tips on working with people you don't really know/how to read them?
12 May 2015, 8:07 am
