I am with nutbag, I am me, take it or leave it.
Everyone has the same with people they do not know, groups, they fake it. The reason they live on small talk is because anything deeper they fall apart. To learn them watch them leave.
They dress well and sit up stright in church, keep it together till they leave, then by the time they get into the car they are changing, the smile is gone, angers return, they hiss at one another. Each has an ambition to get away from the others. It takes everything they can muster to get through an hour.
Consider that we may just live faster and deeper.
Artists have special problems, having to work a crowd for money. I recomend using shills. Artists have problems with marketing. They work alone, then sell to groups, and those who spend are not ever invited for tea.
No one likes many people. Friends often do not like each other, it is just an easy mutual use. You are uncomfortable because you have hope. Get over it. Goals work much better.
Whatever it is, you are there to work the crowd. What is in it for me, is everyone's goal. You are not socializing with humans at an art show, you are selling art, stick to business. Lots of people crave more attention than they get. Yes, they are sick, but that is another story.
Look around, you know a few who want more attention, it shows. Ask them to help. You cannot go around saying "Arn't I great." but they can. They can be deflectors that you, as the Princess with magic wand, draw people in, and they move in, take over, and lead them away for the pitch. When trapped you can have secret hand signals to call them to your aid.
I have worked openings. Well dressed, intelligent, somewhat odd, but passable in such places. My comments of, " My New York friends are very impressed with this work, it will not be long till there is another zero on the price," have gotten checkbooks out. Yes, we did it for the money!
Plainly social events are another matter, hardly any money to pick up, but maybe later. I have simple goals again, finding three people to take home for a night of wild sex. Yes one's are easy, two's about, but working the crowd for a triple takes involvement and skill. I noticed everyone was hitting on everyone, and not liking things directed at me, found that I could speak to anyone about what a cute ass someone else had. I am not so blunt, but the straightest of girls look over the other girls from a professional point of view. And men drool.
There are two reactions, attraction/repulsition. but it is directed at others. I just play the crowd. I learn about their perceptions, agree with them, and they think I am wise. If I stay busy I have not time to be self concious, which I am not, hence, I freeze, figget, and react badly when I have to deal directly with others.
I do not read people well, I am face blind, have no memory for names, but I can see where someone's eyes are looking. I humor their distractions. A looks across the room at B, several times. I walk up to A and am also looking at B, I say something like, "great party, the flowers are in full bloom," and forgeting I am wierd, A agrees. Who is B? I ask, and it is not long till A sees a move, walks me over and introduces me. B likes the attention, I mention how great A is, and then slide off leaving them alone.
It works well on the couple circut. Anything that advances their non plan is well treated. Male female have a sexual relation. Shocking isn't it. Some males have male male sex, but female female is a whole nother story.
I have observed them growing up. They seem like Lesbians, but they are not. Males have a shallow point of view, Duh! Non sexual little girls get together, take baths together, sleep together, do each other's hair, there is a lot of touching, petting, fondeling, cuddling, grooming, and bodily contact, hot breath wispering close in the ear while being held, and running off upstairs to change clothes.
As they get older, becoming sexual in body, it continues. I got my little girl a large high quality plate glass mirror, she has worn it out. Being good at math and angles, seeing how she had set it up in the closet, the lighting, where she would stand, she could see from the neck down if she stood as far back as she could get, and from the waist down if closer. Practice before a mirror I know.
She has always treated me well, we are friends. She will take a bath, do her hair, get well dressed, and then come down and almost kick me to get in the car now! It seems we had a girl to pick up who is spending the weekend. I do not drive fast enough to please her. No talking is allowed, the girl goes in the back seat, we rush home, and without a thank you, they run off upstairs for a bath.
I am not allowed upstairs when she has a friend over. I can call from downstairs when there is food. In as long as it takes to dress they come down, are very well behaved young ladies, then are back upstairs. Every time I see them over the weekend their hair is different, clothes are changed and exchanged, sometimes they are clean scrubed, sometimes in full makup with glitter and perfume.
I have identified two classes. She has friends who she introduces to me, and repeats their names so I will remember. I am supposed to talk to them. They are her people. The other group does not have names, I am not to speak to them, they are very cute and girly, and the turnover is high. They are her weekend girls. She used to do reruns, but mostly it is a one time thing. She just wants to get them naked and in her room for the weekend.
She came to me with furrowed brow, her I can read, "What is the matter Princess?" I can tell she is hurt and confused. She is very mad because a girl she was kissing wanted to have sex with her. Sex, says I, do people still do that? Some, she says, but not me. Well you can if you want to, and you can not if you don't want to. "But I thought she was my friend!" Ah, the complexities of life.
You are just going to have to accept that not everyone is perfect like you. You are a Princess. The world should run to please you, but some people have their own problems, which are not yours. Lots of people are going to want a piece of you, but only one has a real use for all those pieces. You have to find people who play in ways you like, it is your life.
She cheers up, goes off to talk on the phone while taking a bath, and is a very different person when she comes back down, kicks me, and we are off to pick up the cutest little fourteen year old I have ever seen. I see the same girls at school, out with their parents, and they look nothing like what rides in my back seat and does not speak.
She is eighteen now, University in the fall. Her friends sleep over during the week, they are very school oriented, I keep her in computers, a laptop that gets passed around between the girls, Full MS Office, and their parents are not as rich and tech as me. I open doors to grades, scholarships, and office skills. They are the smart girls, plain, hardworking, who are going to make something of themselves.
On the weekend she brings home the cutest girl girls I have ever seen. They do not have names, are not to be spoken to or looked at, some stay in her room and she brings food. Born female, but it takes more than a mirror to learn to be good at being a girl. It is study and learning, something very important to her and the other girls. It is like WP, learning yourself through interacting with others like yourself.
Her mother is a hand flapping meltdown type, I am anylitical, she is a calm and self centered person, as long as she gets her way. She is never unreasonable, but she is always right. When she comes to me with a problem, I tell her she is right, the other people have just not thought it through, she should be kind and help them see things her way. She mentions she has not told me the problem yet. It does not matter, the answer is the same.
I see women as another species. Or the species, and males are something lesser. It took her the first week of first grade to learn all about sex and boys. Since then she has been working on being a girl. She is uncomfortable with being touched, looked at, and has had to work on it. She has a Prom Date, but that is it for boys. With girls she has become used to being seen naked, being touched, groomed, showing her moves, being who she is. Girls come all tense and excited on Friday, leave relaxed and dreamey on Sunday. There was no sex involved, only love and seduction. Sex they can do themselves, romantic seduction takes two. It beats a chic flick or a Harliquin Romance. Sex is crude and messy, spontanious erruption is high art.
There are many levels of social interaction between women. They are team players. They will even let outsiders into the game. Any man is something some woman might want, and even an artist that draws crowds has uses. See people for what they are, all gaming on what's in it for me. Alone at a party you might feel awkward, but if you are the man magnet you seem, there are girls who would gladly take the overflow. We are back to marketing art. It is a transaction. Empowering other females to act as your agent gets them something, and gives you some support.
All friendships have some exchange going on. Most just do it, aspies can if they see the underlieing goals. You do not like working alone, others feel out of the spotlight. Cut a deal. As for men, all little girls have dreams, tons of props to go with it, and one Ken doll in his socks in the back of the closet. Ken is not the point of being Barbie.
My girl told me after college she is going to have a house and three children, and lots of girlfriends. I asked about a husband, she made a face and said, of course. She has been a bit miffed since about twelve when she figured out she could not marry me. Now she has to go the college to find one like me and start the training all over, and she just had me broken in.
Sorry I was not around to raise you, I would have told you to find what you are comfortable with and work out from there. You are right, other people have just not had time to think it out. Be kind to them, and they will see you are right. You are special Princess, you are supposed to help the other girls who are not as lucky. You can't have friends and parties by yourself, and neither can they. There are girls just waiting for you to ask their help with all the excitement and glamor of the art world.
To have friends, be one.
24 Mar 2007, 4:47 pm
