Pity benefits?

Post Reply New Topic

Hey y'all,

One subject I've wondered about AS (as someone who quite possibly has it [kindergarten teacher suspected it, have been compared to Rain Man once or twice in math class, & a couple ppl made comments pertaining to this]), one thing I have been blessed with is a lot of people who tolerate and/or enjoy talking with me. Part of it may be that my interests (politics, religion, philosophy, & academic/psychometric stuff) lend themselves well to discussion, but another thing I admit might be a contributing factor: pity about low socialization ability.

See, I was elected prom king recently at my school; usually, it's always the sociable jock who gets the prize, but I got it this year, which made me pretty happy (though I admittedly didn't like all the extra attention). I admit to also having gotten special treatment from teachers (like a pass on an incomplete assignment or the benefit of the doubt on grading essays/written stuff) because of an appearance of "innocence."

So, long story short, here's what I'm curious about: is it common to get special things due to one's social ineptness? I feel a little mixed about it. As much as I'd like to think all of my accomplishments were my own doing, I know the external factors that gave me a boost. It would be interesting to see others' stories about this.

As they say "anything is possible" but it would be quite unusual for an "aspie" to have great social success. It varies but most autistics experience isolation, ridicule or bullying. Besides Aspergers/Autism is a lot, a very lot more then just social awkwardness.

Part of the reason I ask this is out of curiosity: I do wonder how much of the vote I got for prom king was pity or irony-related. It's one of those things that can drag you down, if you catch my drift.

That kind of thing can happen--very occasionally, a school accepts a special needs person as a sort of mascot and gives them extra kindness. I remember there was a guy in my school who seemed kind of "simple" (like a Forest Gump type) that everyone would say "Hi" to in the halls; he was elected homecoming king one year.

If you want to be treated as an equal, it iS kind of insulting to be singled out for extra kindness. All I can say is that it's better than the flip side of the coin: being singled out for bullying. :/

After spending K thru 1st grade in mainstream classes, and 2nd thru 7th in gifted and talented classes, in 8th grade I was sent to a special education school.

At the end of the year they had a graduation ceremony where they handed out a bunch of recognitions and awards. I think that the idea was so everyone would get recognized for something. Anyway they ended up giving me like three times more awards than anyone else, they kept calling my name and I had to keep going up on stage for all these different certificates. And after four or five of these (I got 17 altogether and I don't think anyone else got more than six) I started to get pissed off because if they were going to give me that many then to me it felt like pity and they didn't mean anything at all in that case. At this point in my life I'd never won anything except for a spelling bee, so to win so much all at once felt incredulous.