I have a hivemind

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Yes

I do, somewhat.

Of course I care what people think about me. I don't want to but I do. I don't go out of my way to achieve social status however it DOES feel rewarding to hold a heightened position in a group, i.e. if I am the best game player out of a group of people. Though it can also feel awkward and a bunch of other emotions and I sometimes want to move down the hierarchy, I guess. Relaxing there, at least in the presence of no douche bags.

However, I think that hivemind is overstated. I am capable of free thought and independancy from others especially if I consciously try. Largely before I experienced social rejection, I was extremely my own person, and then once I tried to fit in, and that didnt work, now I am my own person again but generally fearful of others (social anxiety). I don't think that is because my brain is thinking 'wow, I am at the bottom of the pecking order', but rather just learned/conditioned rekkage to my emotions.

Also the hivemind is stronger in some people than others. I think it is weaker in me, I am anti-conformist by nature for some reason and that screwed me over

I think it's far more complicated than just the 'eerrrhh mah gawd, the NTs so hivemind!'. I think it is largely surpassable and you will find many other factors of decision making/behaviour/emotion play a part rather than strictly gaining hierarchy.

Though yes, I am an ape.

My point of concern is, sometimes I read things here about the hivemind that seem far too brutal when compared to my experience, and only true of a select few people or most but only truly under highly controlled situations or pressure from learned experience. Example, you have to follow a teacher's will because you know you will otherwise be punished, and that is part of growing up, or nobody would have discipline and just kill each other.

There is so much I can say but I'm not wise enough onthe subject to help out. But I don't think I am a hivemind, only I have a cute little one in my brain somewhere.

Sometimes I get salty because I (like most) take personal offense when somebody rips some of me, however if I know some of it is right. I can hopefully come through in the end. That is not for the hive. That is for me.

Please though, I may have a hive, but I'm not a bad person. Or am I?

I love you Olympiadis


Edit - Nope this post is not for the hierarchy, yes, I am posting purposefully when I am drinking, because it is fun, and that's all. I don't care if people think it's attention seeking. maybe it is. All I know, is that I am enjoying myself, and anybody that gets pissed (no pun intended), well, here is a nice picture for you:

_________________
Unapologetically, Norny.
-chronically drunk

I do not get the same impression of the term 'hivemind' that you do when it has been used on WP recently.

You, like everyone with emotions including autistics, desires to fit in. What you have is the cognitive ability to recognize when you are held in high-esteem or low-esteem with people, while lots of autistics do not. Not having that ability puts a damper on a lot of social rewards. Not having emotions also does the same thing. Cognitively choosing to ignore them, also the same thing.

Don't drink enough to get hungover.

I wouldn't take it personal, though I can see how that can be difficult given the popularity of the idea.

Many individuals that I encounter (ASD or not) are only able to function if there ideas are not challenged, they feel justified in their beliefs Anything that disrupts those ideas/beliefs that explains their experiences as they see it (which is closely tied to their sense of self) is met vehemently. In essence they believe it's an attack on them personally.

Try to understand why they need to believe it; is my suggestion.

I don't need to believe in the hivemind to make NTs seem a certain way, it seems like some people's defense mechanism about their self-esteem.

The term "hivemind" is a tautology (like "single bachelor"). Hiveminds are the only kind of human minds that there are.

Try thinking without the influence of culture and society.

Your mind wont operate without the words, concepts, ideas, values, and symbols, put into your head by society.

The best that humans can do is pick which rival 'hive' to join, and which others to eschew. Human cant process thought without some kind of group think. Just like a computer cant run without a program.