17-yr old Aspie will-be college student...

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...A story in the Santa Cruz Sentinel (CA) concerns what I said above , a 17-year-old will-be college student , his name is Tim Onstad and the story was by Jessica A. York , I thik I've told you enough to find it , with as I just posted elsewhere my lack of tech skills I cannot really speare the time to laboriously put a link up , with my limited library time- .
Oh , why was I born , my worthless life , I NEVER got to truly " go to college " and , now , I may well die , as my lack of care received following my double amputation may well lead to first my leg , then my whole body being infected and me dying - The clinic and hospital here refuse to even put a bandage on my bad to , literally truly , and I am becoming , even with two legs , a cripple , heading towards it , with my balance going away-
If only I could rest and recuperate some (and clean up and build up some things) ...

Sounds like me.. this infection has gone untreated for so long it has simply destroyed me.. I can barely move, my legs are incredibly weak and I'm in constant grueling pain.
At this rate I don't see myself ever going to college or anything or getting any semblance of a life.
I am not only mentally ill now, but essentially crippled too.. the universe is a cruel place.. it doesn't know it, but it is.

I was 17 when I started my first year of business school at BCIT. So what? It's just as irrelevant as whoever this kid is.

Focus on yourself & your healing, not others or your future goals of attending college. Do whatever you need to to get yourself well, mentally/physically etc. Do whatever you can. If you need to have your leg elevated and that's all you can manage to do for yourself, do that. If you need to have bandages changed, spend your time and energy figuring out how you're going to have that done. There's no sense in spending your time being envious of someone else, or daydreaming about a future you'd like to have but don't feel you can achieve at the moment as none of these things help you in the present moment.

...I AM HOMELESS , MONEYLESS , and have been DENIED , REPEATEDLY , any help regarding getting any better , really , by the " official " powers ! !! !! !! !! !!











ldfish21"]I was 17 when I started my first year of business school at BCIT. So what? It's er this kid is.

Focus on yourself & your healing, not others or your future goals of attending college. Do whatever you need to to get yourself well, mentally/physically etc. Do whatever you can. If you need to have your leg elevated and that's all you can manage to do for yourself, do that. If you need to have bandages changed, spend your time and energy figuring out how you're going to have that done. There's no sense in spending your time being envious of someone else, or daydreaming about a future you'd like to have but don't feel you can achieve at the moment as none of these things help you in the present moment.[/quote]

...Without the full-fledged " going to college " (I'll borrow the Australian phrase " uni " here even if I'm forbidden from traveling there ) to aim for/hope for , I , sometimes at least , feel there is NOTHING to hope for ~ " No future " , and not in the my-teenagerness Sex Pistols sense ~ At best , hope for a pleasant waiting-around-for death .

...I am totally homeless , I cannot , now , anyway , get medical help for the aftermath of the amputation of both of my big toes mont7hs back due to diabetic bone infections ~ The hospital which did it back out on getting me the after-care that they said that they would and so did many other places , in two entirely different places ...I am losing my balance , due to being homeless and having to carry my load around , and the left leg's wound has opened up again , my clothes , the only clothes I have , are infected wi0th insects and I am itching all over ...........


="goldfish21"]I was 17 when I started my first year of business school at BCIT. So what? It's just as irrelevant as whoever this kid is.

Focus on yourself & your healing, not others or your future goals of attending college. Do whatever you need to to get yourself well, mentally/physically etc. Do whatever you can. If you need to have your leg elevated and that's all you can manage to do for yourself, do that. If you need to have bandages changed, spend your time and energy figuring out how you're going to have that done. There's no sense in spending your time being envious of someone else, or daydreaming about a future you'd like to have but don't feel you can achieve at the moment as none of these things help you in the present moment.[/quote]

I know this might sound stupid:

What would happen if you went to the emergency room? Wouldn't there be a way you could get something for your infections, and maybe get disinfected?

I'm naïve--forgive me for this.

But there must be some way, in this "great country" of hours, for you to get some kind of treatment should you seek it. Aren't you automatically on Medicaid because of your SSD status?

...I've tended to go to the ER LOTS , that's how I've tened to get admitted into the hospital ~ However , the last time I went to the SC hospital's (Dominican) ER , they made it rather clear they hated me & wouldn't even bandage by bad toe ! !! !! !! !! !!

I know this might sound overly obvious:

Maybe go to ANOTHER hospital?

I wish you could get the treatment you need, and that you get disinfected, too.

I dunno....maybe pretend you're drunk so you could get into Detox?

Maybe full-fledged going to college can remain the end goal, but it's not the first or next step.

The first thing you need to focus on is health & healing. As kraftiekortie said, seek medical assistance at a different hospital. Do whatever you need to to heal.

Later on, when medical attention isn't such an immediate need, you can worry about educating yourself. You could start that process by getting online more and doing free courses from various universities. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of free university level coursers online in almost any subject. Even if it isn't "going to college" it will at least prepare you for the level of study for when you do raise yourself up in life to the point where you can create an opportunity for yourself to start attending classes on campus somewhere.

...I don't think you quite understand that I WANT to heal I have SO LITTLE , and I have been DENIED formal " getting healing help " you proably have SO MUCH MORE available to you .


uote="goldfish21"]

Maybe full-fledged going to college can remain the end goal, but it's not the first or next step.

The first thing you need to focus on is health & healing. As kraftiekortie said, seek medical assistance at a different hospital. Do whatever you need to to heal.

Later on, when medical attention isn't such an immediate need, you can worry about educating yourself. You could start that process by getting online more and doing free courses from various universities. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of free university level coursers online in almost any subject. Even if it isn't "going to college" it will at least prepare you for the level of study for when you do raise yourself up in life to the point where you can create an opportunity for yourself to start attending classes on campus somewhere.[/quote]

...I was going to post this on my " Where...go ? " line but.........
To-day (Tuesday) , I had thought of going to Watsonville to get underwear , again , as my SSDI (small weekly chunk , remember , not a monthly bigger amount!...) had come , but it would've taken a lot of time , and WV had some problems for me the last time I was there (I'll digress into that maybe later) , and I wanted to put on nice new dry undies as soon as possible ~ Which , however , meant I bought far more expensive in price (per piece , AND , I think , even by actual price ~ 3 pieces in the CVS package against 7?? in the K one ! !! !! !! !!) underwear at the Santa Cruz CVS again .
I thought of going to the Homeless Persons' Health Project/Homeless Services Center (Separate places on either side of the same parking lot + entrance ~ Oh , and for easiness , I'll refer to it collectively as " HPHP " generally , from now on .) to wash myself and get rid of the insects , but , I thought that finding time to get clothes , at least some new ones to wear as interiem ones while the clothes were being washed as a shower would surely take less time that washing & drying , presumably at the Sally or Goodwill , only opening at 10 A.M , with the next bus to HPHP being at 10:45 after that (& so on hourly through 4:45)---Well , to set this up for the 2nd part of this that seemed not really fittable with the opening time of the laundry/shower room there to get it all done in one day !
I will continue with this in Pt. the 2nd .

...Really , I would need some way to shower , than , the shower finished , put 100% clean clothes on ~ And I wear a lot of layers of shirts , it is COLD here these " lusty " Mays ! ~ Basically , I need enough money/safety to get new clothes , carry them to HPHP , shower/etc. , probably wear interiem clothes while waiting for the lceaned clothes , at least in part , to be ready ~ Then , having cleaned and put the clothes on , then have a place to go , and preferably go to at night and not pick up the bugs all over again ~I had thought " Maybe I could be clean for just one night and see Avengers " , or , I had thought of going to another town m, you will remember that person in the 707 area code who said he'd help me get into UCSC (in 15 months) ~ I wouldn't aim to move in with him but perhaps proximity would be good and maybe I could be clean as a " shelter-homeless " - However , that would likely mean " shelter hours " of having to leave the shelter at 5:30/6:30 A.M. and maybe take everything with me , the same thing all over again ~ And , Santa Rosa , one place I looked in that area
, is way north of San Francisco and likely way expensive to get there and I thing " nice " areas like Marin or Napa aren't too HL-sympathetic , SC can almost be that way but perhaps the old hippie/surferish thing keeps it from being as strong...This returns me to the " How would I get to the ' other places ' other people think I should go to anyway ? " question anyways ?
If I could get that " bonus month " loan of the eqivalent of an all-at-once SSDI month of money (Unlike the weekly chunks that I get .) , or , even , half a month , I would pay it back month by month over a 12- or 6-monyj period - Please ?????
Okay , I am finished for now now .

...Really , I would need some way to shower , than , the shower finished , put 100% clean clothes on ~ And I wear a lot of layers of shirts , it is COLD here these " lusty " Mays ! ~ Basically , I need enough money/safety to get new clothes , carry them to HPHP , shower/etc. , probably wear interiem clothes while waiting for the lceaned clothes , at least in part , to be ready ~ Then , having cleaned and put the clothes on , then have a place to go , and preferably go to at night and not pick up the bugs all over again ~I had thought " Maybe I could be clean for just one night and see Avengers " , or , I had thought of going to another town m, you will remember that person in the 707 area code who said he'd help me get into UCSC (in 15 months) ~ I wouldn't aim to move in with him but perhaps proximity would be good and maybe I could be clean as a " shelter-homeless " - However , that would likely mean " shelter hours " of having to leave the shelter at 5:30/6:30 A.M. and maybe take everything with me , the same thing all over again ~ And , Santa Rosa , one place I looked in that area
, is way north of San Francisco and likely way expensive to get there and I thing " nice " areas like Marin or Napa aren't too HL-sympathetic , SC can almost be that way but perhaps the old hippie/surferish thing keeps it from being as strong...This returns me to the " How would I get to the ' other places ' other people think I should go to anyway ? " question anyways ?
If I could get that " bonus month " loan of the eqivalent of an all-at-once SSDI month of money (Unlike the weekly chunks that I get .) , or , even , half a month , I would pay it back month by month over a 12- or 6-monyj period - Please ?????
Okay , I am finished for now now .