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kamiyu910
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19 May 2015, 1:24 pm

Because I would much prefer not to be social.
There's this woman I've known for years who I know is prone to cancelling social plans without letting anyone know until after the agreed upon time is past, so I'm wondering if I should just show up at her house even though she's not responding to my texts and PMs, or just assume she cancelled and didn't tell me...
I wouldn't be going over there if it weren't for the fact that my eldest is the same age as her kid and they actually like to hang out together...
This anxiety of not knowing is eating at me like food poisoning.


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kraftiekortie
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19 May 2015, 1:43 pm

Send her an email, with letters all in Caps, asking her to PLEASE RESPOND.

If she doesn't respond after this, then I would call her, and ask her point blank about the plans.



kamiyu910
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19 May 2015, 1:58 pm

She's not even answering her phone.

I don't understand why people keep saying I should be more social when stuff like this happens all the time. What good does being social do?


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olympiadis
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19 May 2015, 2:35 pm

kamiyu910 wrote:
This anxiety of not knowing is eating at me like food poisoning.


UNCERTAINTY
:(



cavernio
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19 May 2015, 2:41 pm

kamiyu910 wrote:
She's not even answering her phone.

I don't understand why people keep saying I should be more social when stuff like this happens all the time. What good does being social do?


If this person is at all like she is not answering the phone because she cannot muster it within herself to be social at that point in time either.


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kamiyu910
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19 May 2015, 3:12 pm

cavernio wrote:
If this person is at all like she is not answering the phone because she cannot muster it within herself to be social at that point in time either.


In the 13 years I've known her, she's more than likely left her phone somewhere she can't hear it, or has perhaps made other plans with someone else instead. Perhaps she has even completely forgotten she made plans with me? I don't mind when people tell me they can't do something, even just a simple text, "Not today, feeling bad." Would be fine, it would be great. Simply forgetting or ignoring someone you made plans with?
It's just frustrating for me. She once asked me to babysit, and then never showed up and didn't call or anything. When I finally got a hold of her, she said she had found someone else, no apology or anything. I just really don't understand it, it makes zero sense to me. And of course part of me is worried something bad happened to her and that's why she's not answering...


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dianthus
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19 May 2015, 5:45 pm

She's being very rude and inconsiderate. She does this a lot?! I would stop making any kind of plans with her altogether. Seriously I would not tolerate this nonsense.

If your kid really wants to hang out with her kid, offer to have them come over to your place, and ONLY at a time when it won't inconvenience you if she doesn't show up (like when you're planning to be at home all day anyway).



kamiyu910
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20 May 2015, 12:25 am

I'm sure this isn't just typical NT type behavior, but I seem to attract those kinds of people... :/


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OlivG
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20 May 2015, 12:38 am

Quote:
Are Social Interactions Necessary


Having connections makes many things incredibly much easier, whether it is finding a job or a SO.



kraftiekortie
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20 May 2015, 8:29 pm

If a person is deliberately not answering phones/emails, then that person is being rude/inconsiderate no matter the person's neurological status.



cavernio
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20 May 2015, 8:52 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
If a person is deliberately not answering phones/emails, then that person is being rude/inconsiderate no matter the person's neurological status.


Boundaries are not rude or inconsiderate.


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dianthus
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20 May 2015, 10:05 pm

When you make plans with someone, they have a reasonable expectation to communicate with you about those plans. Not communicating is rude.