Fear about assessment

Post Reply New Topic

Hey you guys,

I'm new here. I recently came across the AQ test and thought I'd take it. I was thinking it might come out to be mid-range if even, I kind of took it flippantly. Well as it turns out, I made a glowing 44. I took it again, and it was the same. So I decided to take the NT/ND quotient test and I was absolutely derailed. Aspie - 187/200 Non-autistic - 28/200. I had a meltdown and then took it again a week later, same thing.

Needless to say I was quite alarmed. I know I have always been highly introverted and had many, many quirks.. but for some reason it never dawned on me that it may be AS. Although, I don't think I had a true understanding of it before I took the tests. So I made an apt with a Psychologist (I wanted to continue working on my OCD as well), and told her what was going on. She didn't seem too concerned, however she did ask me some questions about my childhood. She said I had some "Asperger-y" characteristics (like being a girl obsessed with automobiles at age 5), and then asked me what a diagnosis would "do" for me. That made me feel like I was wanting it or something! I totally shut down, and it has made me paranoid ever since. One of her comments was "Well you've held a job haven't you?" So now I just feel awkward..

So anyway, I have an assessment on Monday, and I don't know if she is actually taking it seriously. Have any of you guys had high scores on assessments and still not be diagnosed? I am fine with a yes or a no either way, I just can't handle this "what if" situation... I feel like it's been the longest week of my life.

Thanks for reading

I relate totally.
I'm seeking diagnosis too.
Last doctor knew nothing anout ASD, and summarily disregsrded everything I told him. After struggling for so long and knowing I'm "diffetent", this was a hard blow.

I know I'm on the spectrum, and have many social difficulties.
But most doctors don't see that, don't believe you, and mostly don't care.

I was initially genuinely curious, thinking doctors would take it seriously and practice "science" to find out. But most doctors are not scientists nor scientific.
Most of them are career NTs.

I think they literally hate that you want/need help. And they can't seem to get past their own human ape prejudices against you, especially if you're a male.
Really, it's about disability (I found this out later, didn't even realize you could get disability for it), they don't want you to get it. They just see you as a "loser", and tell you to stop whining and get back into the hopelesd unemployment line. Constantly searching for work until you go homeless.
It's the NT system of starving you out of existence.
It's the only solution they have for the unwanted in society.

I think the issue is that you're low priority. No idea if it's the same where you are, but if you're thriving and not having any problems the time and money spent assessing you doesn't seem worth it there. If it does not bring anything to you, perhaps they just don't see the point of undergoing the process. It's the reason they're trying to keep me classified as a child for as long as possible. They focus on people whose lives are at risk from severe mental illnesses. Which does make sense. But this is in my country, with free healthcare, so no idea if it's the same situation wherever you are.

Sometimes professionals look for typical. Typical in this case would be someone looking for a diagnosis to explain things for instance. If that's not the case and you were surprised by her actions, using the words "I'm confused and it's upsetting me" may help.

Not to me but yes, people sometimes see a professional thinking they may be on the spectrum and are told they are not. Sometimes they seek a second opinion and are diagnosed, though.

To be blunt, many psychologists/psychiatrists are not well-schooled in 2015 autism. Autism, to them, is the pre-1980 version of it--which does not, by and large, take into account the "high-functioning" manifestations of it.

You mind in fact, find a therapist who believes any sort of attempt at social interaction, or even the existence of spontaneous, purposeful speech, is solid proof of the non-existence of autism.

You should seek, if possible, to find a clinic whose specialty is autism.

It is quite possible that your assessor might not take the results of online tests too seriously.

I guess I was very lucky Well... not very, but still lucky. I was kept in a room for 8 hours with them challenging me in the hospital thinking I was just withholding from them and actually extremely suicidal and refusing them to tell them. Truth was I was just confused as hell, and so, so scared. They were going to not let me go home and had to get a final opinion and she declined it and instead put me through to autism specialists and recognized it somehow even though these were experts in depression and not autism. So I guess I'm lucky it got recognized at least, otherwise I'd probably still not be at home these months later. Maybe it's different because I'm younger though, is that different?

Valid points, thank you.

Thank you. Yes, I agree. The accuracy of the online assessment is not 100% and clearly not for diagnostics, I wouldn't expect her to go by that either way. However, it could be a red flag.