Was AS taboo in your family?

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I can say that from my experience, in my teens & youth in the 90s, any talk about my inherent difference/ struggles was not welcomed in my family; I was rudely interrupted with flippant remarks like "then you just have to try harder" or "don't think too much about it, just DO it [what you're supposed to]." That, or my stepmom or dad would just try to change the subject. I was also "prohibited" from going to therapy, no matter how much I asked. My mom, who lived a ways away from my dad/stepmom, was more inclined to let me see a therapist but I didn't see her as much since I was at school in my dad's city. Mind you, I wasn't yet diagnosed - since this was still the 90s and AS was just beginning to be recognized - but even after I got diagnosed, in 2001, I noticed a tendency for my family to try and skirt the issue. They were initially sympathetic when I told them about the diagnosis, but then that tapered off and I "wasn't allowed" to really talk about it. A cruel irony that a condition based on incapacity to recognize unspoken norms, became an unspoken norm unto itself

AS and ASDs were unknown in my family. Anyone with a learning disorder or a perceptive disorder was considered to be either a "ret*d" or a "nutcase" - according to the adults at the time (1950s through the 1970s). They, along with "cripples" we're to be sent away, locked up, or otherwise kept from making contact with "normal" people.



It was all about labels back then, and if you could put a derogatory label on someone, that meant that you did not have to socialize with that person, or even be present in the same house. It also meant that you could ignore such people, throw insults their way, and even abuse them with impunity

I was considered "strange" - not good enough for general society, but not bad enough to be isolated from society. I still got the insults and beatings, though.

I might say so.

My dads older sister - lets name her Alina for privacy - had AS behavior since she was a young kid and she always was considered a crazy, ret*d weirdo of our family. She isn't diagnosed though. She is almost 70 year old now so she missed her chance.
Her life is really pitiful. She never moved out of house, started a family or had a job (other than some short term cleaning). She still stays in grandma house acting as her maid(as a kid I was sure she is actually a maid, not my aunt), spending most of the time in the armchair in corner of the living room (named Alina's armchair) and being intimidated by the rest of family.

I remember that my parents used to reprimand me by saying "Don't act like Alina. You don't want to end up like her, do you?" whenever I was doing something "weird".

In the areas of my family where autism turns up, yeah, it's never been okay to talk about it, as though you're putting someone down to refer to them as autistic. Which is stupid because the autistic people have always been more successful than the neurotypical ones.

In the area of my family where we have a degenerative neurological condition it's the same way. Someone can be falling down, crashing their car, and talking like a drunk person but everyone else will say, OH...so-and-so is just a little tired, a little clumsy...you can't say it's the family DISEASE...when clearly it is. I mean, get over it. It's not that big a deal.

I think the people who are NOT autistic and DON'T have neuro problems are grateful they aren't like the rest of us and like to conceal their relief by pretending no one is different.

I was not diagnosed as a child. And I sometimes wonder if one or both parents, and some older family members, are AS but not diagnosed.

I do not want to give personal details of my family, but there is some oddness there. A couple people show fairly strong signs of some symptoms. There are a couple close relatives who I have never seen. (More severe AS maybe?) And there are people whose behavior seems very consistent with an AS who is trying very hard to pretend to be normal. There is a high degree of over protectiveness and doing things for others. There is a high degree of pretending that something that happened yesterday did not just happen.

There is some kind of awareness, I think, that some family members are a little odd. Children receive immediate criticism for doing something weird. But other than that, it is pretty much denied and you can’t talk about it.

I felt like I was heavily coached to pretend to be normal without it ever being openly acknowledged that I was not normal. I wonder if this is a long family tradition in my family.

My uncle, for all intents and purposes, is autistic. He was diagnosed with childhood schizophrenia back in the late 1950s/early 1960s, and my grandparents were told they should institutionalize him. They refused. They kept my uncle at home and he graduated from the local high school.

It was hard for them, but I commend them for their decision.

ASD and other disorders do not have a bad name in my family. It wasn't necessarily talked about, but a lot of my uncle's behaviors couldn't be ignored. We all made accommodations and compromises the best we could.

Just about everyone in my family has ASD traits, even if we don't have enough to get an official diagnosis. I think my sister and maybe a couple of my cousins, are the only ones that are clearly NT. Everyone else would at least have a "Broader Autistic Profile."

I think this is one of the reasons why some of my difficulties were not caught. My family thinks a lot of ASD-type behavior is "normal." And if my uncle is the example of one who has real difficulty, anyone else not affected as severely must not have a problem.

Even if something like my uncle's pacing bothers us, what would we do? Complain about it? Whatever! That's how it is. That's how he is. When my husband got to know the family, he was given a heads-up on things he needed to know. But there's no room for discussion or comments. It just IS.

Discussing AS was taboo in my family and it still is to this day, especially when my grandma and/or my uncle comes for a visit.

In my family growing up? Even if they knew what ASD was, it wouldn't have mattered. In our family, that was what was "normal".

Growing up, I knew that my two cousins (who are brothers) were in special education, but never realized that they were autistic (both are verbal, and actually more asperger-like in presentation though they have lower IQs). No one ever told me, and the few times I tried to bring up the subject I got non-answers from people (ie they have "developmental delay").

Jump cut to last year at age 29 when my psychiatrist told me I might have aspergers/asd-mild, I then immediately realized they both are autistic. I still haven't told anyone in my family that I'm also on the spectrum after I got an official diagnosis, though I've gently asked again about my cousins' official diagnoses...and I got probably the most definitive answer I will ever get (..."well, the doctor's told me they could probably both be considered autistic, but I didn't want to label them").

I believe there are many very BAPy people on both sides of my family which as always lead to a sense that my family was just "different." I'm glad I finally realize why. I wish I could talk about it more openly with them though.

I'm not sure whether it's taboo, or not. My dad doesn't understand what AS is, simply because he is narcissistic and doesn't want to. When it comes to serious conversations, he says that he didn't want a daughter with AS and says whether I have a condition or not, I could have tried to be easier.

I admit I wasn't the easiest kid, but there must have been something obviously wrong from a young age. He told me a couple of years ago that I needed speech therapy when I was really young because I wouldn't speak to anyone. When I say that could actually be down to what I've got, he goes, "oh, that's your excuse for being a pain".