Executive function- mine's terrible. How does it effect you?

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Do you have executive functioning problems, like not being able to organise yourself or use your working memory?

I'm helping to do a talk next week about how EF difficulties effect autistic people, but I don't want to give a one-sided view of how it presents by saying "it effects me like this...", and not giving examples of how it is different in all of us. What do you think I have to include?

If I focus on grocery shopping and cooking my own meals instead of eating take-out fast food, I forget to pay the bills and save money. If I focus on paying the bills and saving money, I forget to clean the house. If I focus on cleaning the house, I forget to do the laundry and mow the lawn. And so on!

I can't seem to get a handle on doing all the many normal things in life all at the same time. I can do one normal thing in life perfectly well if I focus on that thing, but I guess it takes all of my concentration and energy to do it.

My apartment is cluttered.
Because I focus on art.
On the positive side,
my artwork has been exhibited in several
art galleries and museums.
So there's a silver lining.
Only so many hours in a day.
It's all about priorities.

...

My executive functioning becomes worse or better depending on how much stress I've been experiencing in other ways.

For example, if I've been having many sensory issues, or if I've had too much forced socializing that wasn't on my terms, my ability to come home and do practical things that need to be done goes to hell in a handbasket.

Because I think what happens is, I feel so stressed from the other stuff that I have to recover, and recovery for me seems to involve sitting around doing really not much, just trying to "come down from" what has stressed me out.

And it's then that I can't seem to make myself go and wash the dishes, tidy up my place, do laundry or even take care of my basic hygiene. I can't get ready for work in time enough not to be late -- even though I get up early. I don't know where the time goes to, but somehow the process of just getting myself ready to go out to work can feel so complicated and hard for me that it's like wading through molasses, and now I'm going to be forty minutes late to work.

My executive functioning gets much, much better when I am well rested, had enough sleep, had enough "alone time," had only the social interactions I can handle and no more, and haven't had any pressures put on me, or other anxieties.

So basically stress of any kind, when accumulative and not able to be recovered from expediently, sends my executive functioning plummeting.

^^^ I agree! Getting ready for work seems to be an extremely confusing, complicated and energy-consuming task.

I'm not sure if I have problems with executive function?? I don't have problems with organizing my time and things like that, but that may be just because there's never anything I have to do. I definitely have problems with remembering things in my working memory, I'll always forget something that I saw just ten seconds ago. But I can't remember things in my long term memory either, so maybe that's a different problem?? I don't really know.

It's a relief to hear that I'm not alone! It's weird isn't it? When I think about it, I don't really even have that many "steps" and things to do to get ready, but it feels like a lot when my functioning is poor. And the time just seems to disappear, as if I've been in a trance every ten minutes.

How does it not effect me?
Only minimal issues with self control, otherwise I problems with multitasking, planning, keeping things neat, inertia, any type of shift or change.

My Brief-A Executive Functioning test which I took for my Autism assessment said 90% of the world had better Executive Functioning then me, and 97% dealt with "shift" better then me.

For example, exercise. I want to run most days...but I either become a running fanatic or I can't do it at all. I can do what my focus is, but not a complex morning routine where I shift from one thing to another. I can do ONE THING -- my current obsession. Everything else has too many steps and takes forever. I get confused in the middle; I am at the door ready to go to work and realize there are five things scattered in the house I still have to take care of or fetch.

It sounds "normal" but it is not. I feel like I'm floating in the air, trying to get myself to move in an orderly sequence. Even if I write it all down, it doesn't happen as quickly as it should. It takes me 1.5-2h every morning to get out the door...and I have no children or anything else that takes up my morning. What am I doing all that time? I'm never quite sure.

My house is a mess (clutter.) It is not "call the health department" bad. Even though I basically *made* it this way, I don't like it. But I have a hard time keeping all the systems going at once.

The busier my life is, the worse my E.F. is. I will forget about important meetings. Under stress, I have mismarked the dates on the calendar. So, even though I had what I needed on the calendar, the calendar was wrong... I will lose things. I have forgotten to bring important items with me (like my wallet.)

I get very scatterbrained, overall. It is like my brain is fried and I can't process information. It is like sensory overload, but it has to do with organizational details.

Most of the time, I am OK with the level of dysfunction I live with. Sometimes, though, it would be really nice to have someone come in and help me tackle a project and get something under control.

I do not like housework and to focus on it enough to get my house looking "normal" would mean that I am putting aside things that I love and am good at. It is better for me to focus on what I'm good at and let the house be a mess, realizing that I *cannot* keep it ALL together. Some people can - I don't know how. But most people I know whose house is immaculate are boring people with no hobbies or special interests...

Other ways EF problems have affected me have to do with the *countless* numbers of times I have locked myself out of my car or house. Or when I am trying to get ready for something and realize that only half the outfit I need is clean and ready to wear.

Here's a recent example of something I did: A few weeks ago, I made a quick bread. I didn't want to eat the whole thing, so I decided to bring it to church because the teen Sunday school class would enjoy it. I sliced it up, plated it, wrapped it...and left it at home. Later that afternoon my son had a concert to go to with refreshments to follow, so since I forgot to bring it to church I figured I'd bring it there. I put the plate closer to the door so I wouldn't forget...and went to the concert without it. <sigh>

I live inside my own head way too much, and time passes by without me paying attention. That is how I end being up late the night before Easter saying, "Oh no! Tomorrow's Easter and I promised I was going to make such-and-such to bring to my mother's to have with dinner!"

This is a lot like me. I have some small systems in place to help prevent disasters, like letting a bill become passed-due, but it doesn't cover everything.

What I need is a computer calendar program in which I can input all the things I need to remember to do in a day, week, month, that will then pop up with timely reminders and task displays for each day so I can see them coming up in the future. I could set tasks into a calendar program to do this now, but not without a lot of setting and resetting tasks. I need something that does it automatically and then sets the same task for a time in the future.

It should behave like this: I pick from a standard list of basic tasks such as go grocery shopping, pay a bill, vacuum the floors, wash the dishes, do laundry, mow the lawn, etc. Let's say I choose 'pay a bill.' The program asks 'what's the name of the company?' I say, 'The Electric Company' or whatever. The program asks, 'when is the bill due?' I say, 'the 25th of each month.' Then it sets a task for the 25th of every month to 'Pay The Electric Company.' and pops up reminders ten, five and then three days before the due date, 'Don't forget to pay The Electric Company before next Thursday.'

Or let's say I choose 'mow the lawn.' It sets a task to mow the lawn every week, and pops up reminders every three days, 'Does the lawn need to be mowed yet?' That way, I remember to check the grass length. (I often just don't notice the lawn needs mowing until the grass is really long.) When I mow the lawn, I can choose an 'I did this' option or something similar and then it will re-set the task automatically to remind me three days from the time I told it that I mowed. If every three days is too much, I can change the automatic setting to four day reminders or five. I can customize it to how often I need to do things. Like, some people might need to wash laundry every two days and others only once a week.

If I need reminders to 'eat breakfast' or 'cook dinner' or 'take a shower,' I can set a time everyday to remind me so that, at 7:00am, it pops up a reminder 'don't forget to take a shower' and at 6:00pm it pops up, 'It's time to start cooking dinner.' Then, at 6:30, if I haven't marked 'I did this,' it will pop up again, 'Have you started cooking dinner yet?' I could either say 'yes,' 'I'm not hungry,' or 'I want to do this later.' (And maybe, if I say 'I'm not hungry' for three days in a row, it'll pop up something like, 'you haven't been eating well lately, you really should cook dinner now.')

If I check this program everyday, or keep it open on my computer or phone, it will show me every task I need to do each day and I will be more likely to do them. Executive function solved!

I also like being able to see a calendar list of all the tasks I need to do tomorrow, the next day, etc. so I'm not surprised by a task I suddenly have to do that day. I need to be able to prepare for things ahead of time to be comfortable with them.

Does a program like that exist? Does anyone feel like creating one? I would SO use it.

^^^ I agree again about countless times locking myself out of my house and car! It gets so bad that I've actually quit locking my house and car doors at all, and on the few occasions I do lock up, I put the key inside my bra so I can't lose it. I am many times more likely to lock myself out, than for someone who doesn't belong to let themself in. I leave my drivers license inside my car in a secret place all the time, and I carry my bank card inside my bra as well. When police stop me to see my drivers licence/registration/insurance they think it's bizarre when I have to go fetch it from the trunk underneath the spare tire!

Executive function is not that bad - I can take care of myself as long as other people don't interfere with my daily routine. I can wake up, make a breakfast, diner (microwave foods), supper, do personal hygiene and go to bed on time just fine. I can even successfully go to school and appointments as long as I remind myself about it and check the date often enough(I tend to forget what day of week/month currently is... duh... at times I even forget which year it is, lol). And I never forget stuffs like house key or umbrella anymore so it's all good. I was way worse as a kid.

But make a slight change in my routine and I am all over the place - I wake up too late, forget to eat or think I ate nothing despite having full dinner, forget to wash my hair or wash it too soon (my routine is hair wash every 2 days - 1 day interval makes my hair dry, 3 days oily) and go to bed way too late. I can be confident it is other day of week than it actually is on times like this which cause me a lot of trouble. "It is Friday? Really? I was sure it is Saturday already..." (usually I just have no idea what day of week it is but I am not confident so I check the calendar to make sure. The false confidence causes me more trouble than my everyday forgetfulness.).

Also planning stuffs is a huge trouble for me. I can go to appointments if I know specific date, time and place but setting it is really troublesome. Thinking who to contact to make the appointment and when to contact them?... What to say?... Choosing from many unknown days in the future... Taking other plans to consideration... Wondering if the day of week is right... Wondering if there is enough time to get other stuff done... Deciding the place... Wondering if there is a way for me to get in the place on time using public transport...
There is just too much of everything so my mind goes overwhelmed and I just blindly agree to anything other people decide. And then realize it interferes with my other plans or is impossible to accomplish because I don't have enough time to make necessary preparations.

And stuffs that are not part of my daily routine... My room is being cleaned only when parents insist on it or I know I am supposed to have visitors. I even tend to forget about taking dishes from my meals back to kitchen - I do it every 3-5 days, when there is too many of them on my desk to put another one.

My issues with this are similar to what I have been reading here:

Clutter, scheduling problems and I need to rely on many lists, reminder systems, and other devices to manage anything. My job takes all of my resources in this area and I find details in my home life falling into chaos. When I focus on getting some aspect of home life into good order, I lose track of things at work. It's frustrating.

This is one of the things where learning about it has really helped. I used to be angry with myself a lot for not being able to get "it" together. I would know pretty much what steps needed to be taken, but really not be able to take them and not understand why.

Wow its amazing how similar our issues are! Its so hard to deal with but also weirdly nice to know others share the same things. Thanks v much for your replies.

I liked the story about the bread In particular lol. I move things closer and closer to the door too- and they still manage to stay for months. I could actually trip over something I need to take on the way out and still forget it. None of my friends get their birthday presents until 6 months later haha. Thankfully my friends are awesome at forgiving me!

I also found it very useful to "find out" what was causing things and stop beating myself up about it. You should see the state of my house now though :/, but I'm starting to create other, healthier coping mechanisms since let it go, so it'll work out best in the end. I feel like I needed a break from doing anything, so I can kind of reset my brain.

I need lists to function too, and wall calendars etc, but then my life ends up boring and (on and off) all about the calendar. Then it stays on June til the new year, because I'm all "calendared" out :/ I'm starting to create more visual tools now, which i think work better, but its a slow process trying to un-do the 29 years of entrenched negative coping mechanisms.

This basically sums it up for me. I'm very monotropic, if I can just do ONE THING I can do it really well, but I have an awful time trying to juggle a lot of different tasks.