A way to appreciate chaos...

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Sorry if this is a stupid post, but this is something I wanna let it out...
And no, this has nothing to do with being disorganized to self. More like the environment itself, my experience. This is either just a post for myself to appreciate my learning, or certain questions which is up to you guys to answer it.

I wonder what would it be if I end up in a more orderly life? Or a more privileged life? An unexposed life?

Some "what if" would's:
-Would I be more fragile or less broken? Just because I'm less exposed to the chaos and conflict?
-Would I being dependent forever? Just because I never left my comfort zone?
-Would I be more prone to meltdowns and shutdowns? Just because I rarely get a chance to know how to control them?
-Would I still be more anxious, or depressed instead if I end up being exposed to such after sometime? Because of lacking experiences and lacking both physical and psyche armor to deal with the real world?
-Would I be less cynical and more of an idealist if I never get to know the truth? Just because that "what if"'s reality is different?
-Would I still able to mature, if I didn't get to exposed to the chaos of the real world? Would I remain clueless as ever?


But one thing is for sure, that I will keep in mind forever: It's too late to learn.
Sure, most of us aspies takes a slower path in certain things, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.

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We all exist in a state of equilibrium between chaos and order. So by trying to hide your existence within your comfort zone, at some point your world will collapse. On the other hand if you embrace the real world you enter a chaotic roller coaster that will throw you around until your life resettles into a more orderly state ie. life partner, job, house etc. Then at some point the equilibrium shifts again and your life is thrown into chaos again ie. lose job, get sick, your partner leaves you and you lose your house. The only thing you don't lose is the accumulated knowledge you gain while your brain is functioning, but then you lose that when you die. What you leave behind are the accumulated memories that people have of you when you were alive.