Are you really an Aspie?

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Until recently I was a NT... but in reality I was an undiagnosed Aspie, go figure!

The person who a few years ago mentioned she thought I was an Aspie, I had known for at least 3 months before I knew she was an Aspie, I treat her as a NT, just as I do many Aspies I walk past on the street or casually interact with.

Many things are said about NT's, many of which I'd also assign to Aspies too.

The more you make it us versus them the more it will be us versus them!


If you don't mention that you're an Aspie do people realise?

There was no "sometimes" option. Most people won't recognize it, a few will. It is not understood or is widely misunderstood. The odds are somewhat better that a younger person would recognize it.

Recognition you are an Aspie is a different concept then being one. Aspie/Aspergian/person with Aspergers is some you are or are not. I was an Aspie in the 1960's and 1970's when myself and no one recognized it because there was no knowledge of Aspergers. Now the DSM and many Autistics have stopped recognizing Aspergers. That does not mean I am not an Aspie.

How should I know if people realize?? I don't meet new people very often, and when I do, it's not like they tell me if they think I'm autistic.

I seem to recall my parents saying that someone said that I was autistic when I was like five, but that's all I know.

I have no need to declare my status on the autism spectrum, it's not necessary. When I meet new people within a short conversation they generally ask, "Why are you so weird?" That's the litmus test, not whether I declare autism or not. I tell people I'm non-conformist, it's easier for them to swallow than a diagnosis. My experience with declaring autism is that either people don't believe it exists and believe I'm making it up, or they'll find a way to extricate themselves from me like it's contagious. If I just say I'm non-conformist and make up BS for my behavior they're slightly more accepting.

When I work in say a factory, I'm labelled as a smart one, intelligent, know it all, etc, however if I go to a university bar I fit in quite well, also if I go to dinner at a "posh" persons house then we tend to get on.

In my experience people judge me not on an Aspie scale, but on a scale of intelligence or do I speak like I know what I'm on about. The other thing is if we have things in common, if I don't talk (can't in fact) about sport then I'm outcast in those groups, but if I'm in a group who are talking about maths and there's a football fanatic then its the sports fan who is outcast.

I live in a rough area full of young gangsta wannabes, many of whom are probably undiagnosed Aspies. Thing is they'll try to put down everyone and not just those they see as possible Aspies. Quite a few of the gangs do actually have Aspie leaders with ADHD, these bounce around with only 1 in 10 comments making sense, but since none of them generally make sense no one notices and they are happy someone else is making conversation.

I was sent to a residential place last year, there was this one Aspie, he was confident in what he knew, fanatical about what interested him, his only problems really were he believed he was different, he questioned the things he said himself in groups (asking for validation rather than stating it like he owned it), when we parted the only advice I had for him was to walk with more confidence, because unless he told you (by asking for validation) then you didn't really know.

Also with him, similar to me he covered his baby faced features with a moustache, me with stubble.

One person picked up that I was not competent, why? No eye contact. Then there was another person who wasn't treating me well and who knows why and after I left to go wait in the car, she asks my mother "will she get lost?"

But the rest of the time I don't know if anyone can tell I am a bit off. They don't say anything. They might point out things I do and as a child I would be asked if I am ret*d. I was also labeled as weird by some kids at my school.

A male colleague of mine is an aspie. On some levels he is the complete opposite of me. He makes 'forced eye contact', almost like you are a wall or something and he is just staring at you like he is talking to a shell. At the core, we have very similar traits, it's just that expressing myself and talking about my emotions and life etc has sorta become my thing. He on the other hand is not able to do so, well.. maybe not that easely.

Most of the other colleagues consider him and me 'weird'.
I think he knows he has asperger tho, but he never talks about it. He always says that he does not want to have a relationship with a woman who already has a kid between the age of 1 and 16. He is 36+ years old, but i think he is just making excuses. The real reason that has always been single is that he is unable to have a long lasting relationship, the same reason i am single. He also has a select few subjects that he can talk about during 'smalltalk' and always tries to force a conversation back to his thing.



A female colleague, much older and with much more life experience, lately started to tell other colleagues about the real reason why we both seem to connect and talk with eachother more easely than with anyone else. Kind of makes me concerned. Had to work with her a few days ago and for the first time in 7,5 years.. someone finally asked me about autism. Had me in tears, since all of my life i have been feeling like an alien. I could finally pinpoint what it was a few years ago when i learned about autism. She is the first to notice, everyone else will just think of me as a weirdo, i think my parents know in some way too..

I don't believe people realize that I have Asperger's/Autism because they, usually, have only a vague idea about it.

People usually think I'm "weird," though.

Negatively at first

then, once they get to know me.

in a positive sense.