Why did they laugh?

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I was inside a meeting with my parents trying to solve issues within adult Education classes that i'm taking
and every time i spoke up about something i believe they started laughing at my vocabulary in fact i'm sure they where laughing at my vocabulary or the way i was responding. I understand i sometimes when trying to get my point across will use large words, however isn't it rude to laugh? i felt angry and horrible because my parents were also laughing at me.
I told them to stop laughing at me and i didn't understand why it was funny, and they just brushed me off and said it wasn't anything. I'm upset over this still and i feel like inside this meeting i wasn't token seriously and none of my opinions or thoughts even mattered. The question is: Why where they laughing at my words?

What horrible parents to laugh at you and not tell you why. Can you give me an example how you form your sentences in these classes. Or may you have a speech impediment or may have a strange sounding voice like I used to have?

It was a form of invalidation. People laughing together form a bond, and that is sometimes at the expense of something or someone else.

This is only a suggestion, esp. since I wasn't there...

You may have said something inadvertently funny and not picked up on it yourself. They may have not then wanted to diverge from the subject or it may have even been an innuendo?

Any which way, ask again later when your parents aren't busy and have time, probably even preferable to just ask one on their own.

Sometimes people laugh to diffuse an uncomfortable situation, because they are embarrassed. Perhaps you did or said something that surprised and dismayed them all and they were trying to smooth it over socially.

That's a horrible thing to do. Whatever the reason, the person who (or whose comment) was laughed at feels made fun of. They are very inconsiderate to do that. Even if you had said something strange/inappropriate, they should explain to you why they laughed. Maybe you should refuse to speak to the same coordinator/case manager. Can you speak to someone else about it?

I have been treated in that way many times. It's a form of group bullying.

People do that to me all the time, especially my family, and when I ask them what's so funny, they just say something like, "You're funny," or "you're cute," and even when I tell them that doesn't answer my question, they still don't tell me why they're laughing, it drives me crazy. My guess is that either they found the way you structure your sentences to be amusing (people laugh at me a lot for the way I talk; I'm given to understand I can sometimes sound like a robot), or you said something too bluntly without realising it. I hope someone tells you what they were laughing at eventually.

Why did they laugh?

Because you sounded pretentious. You were, maybe, sounding like a know-it-all; and, your parents laughed, because they were embarrassed; no.1, because the counselor laughed; and no.2, because you were sounding persnickety----they were trying to "save face"----they were saying, don't judge us, cuz S/HE'S like that.

I used to be laughed-at, often, for the same reason. When I was a kid, my mother called me stupid, all-the-time----and, I FELT stupid; but, I knew there was a part of me, that was really smart; so, I thought if people don't SEE how smart I am, I'll SHOW them; so, I learned lots and lots of big words, because I thought, then, that I would sound smart----I would feel better, about myself, and other people would feel better about me----cuz, EVERYBODY likes SMART people, RIGHT? NOOOOOOO!! NO ONE likes smart people----except other smart people----cuz smart people make them feel bad about themselves, make them feel they're not very smart, make them feel like they don't measure-up, make them feel like they're lacking, etc., etc., etc.

If they feel that way, isn't that THEIR problem? YES!! If you want to be accepted, though, stop using big words----simple-as-that! Afterall, aren't people making YOU feel bad, and YOU don't like it, and don't you want THEM to change? Change YOURSELF----compromise----there's more of them, than us----the majority rules! You can use big words, here!!

If you don't WANT to change----if you don't feel like you should HAVE TO----then, prepare yourself to be ostracized, the rest of your life!

You can be yourself, HERE, or alone, in your room.

You may be angry because you think they're wanting you to conform----but, aren't you wanting THEM to conform, by accepting you? You have to give ALOT, to get a LITTLE----that's just the way life is! Once you put in the work, you'll be rewarded by getting along better, with people----and, speaking from my own experience, it's WORTH it!

In my experience, it seems OK for NTs to laugh at Aspies at inappropriate times, but if an Aspie laughs at an NT at inappropriate times, it is rude and socially unacceptable. Different if you was saying funny things like joking or some other form of banter, but if it was in a meeting where you're meant to be discussing something more serious, shouldn't they be acting more proffessional?

But, like I said earlier, I suppose it's fine if NTs do it. Ode to be NT.

Also there is laughing at someone in a mean way and gentle affectionate teasing. It's generally best to assume, or at least act like, its the affectionate kind unless you're sure it isn't, with people you normally get along with.

Sometimes I've asked directly but as gently as possible, because I'm looking for an answer, "are you making fun of me?" Not of someone I know sucks up the power and likes it of course.

I know you're angry they did this. And I'm not defending them. But as part of your post seems to be looking for explanation, I wrote what I do with generally decent people. It's hard to trust they aren't making fun of me if they say they aren't, but I think just making clear I don't know what's going on helps decent people (snd only do this with that kind) see that you don't. And if they have hearts and believe you they will either explain or be more careful teasing in future. Watching where they go next will tell you more than this one incident.

I experience situations like this, too. Someone will laugh and I say, "I'm not joking." Then they say, "I know," but I don't get more of an explanation. Or if I ask what's so funny then I get some vague statement, but not really an answer. It's very frustrating, especially when you make the effort to be polite and listen to all their endless BS.

I don't think that is the same thing in reverse.
To not actively reject someone is not the same thing as actively accepting them, and certainly not the same as forcing someone to conform.

The people involved may feel the urge to reject a person or the person's behavior, but I think that urge is likely driven by a mind virus passed to them by the social structure, and not always an urge that they were just born with.

You saying the parents who raised this child / person were rejecting them?

Have you been infected by a similar virus to accuse all of having such a virus?

.

yes, invalidation is a form of rejection.

the schema to pick up on such an observation was learned, and not born with.

I'm still going to see it that the parents were there for the good and not because of some conspiracy / virus to reject them. You're reading too much into it with this memes thing, you see it everywhere.

Also the laughing may have been to cover a mistake rather than invalidate it by discussing it. We are talking about a teacher and the individuals parents here, not some school yard kids!


Just because you do not approve of such behaviour doesn't make it a conspiracy!

If they kept doing it repeatedly throughout the meeting, that makes it hard to believe they have innocent reasons for this, such as you said something that sounds like a joke. Plus, this education meeting doesn't sound like a setting where it's appropriate to joke around or engage in "gentle affectionate teasing."

Either way, brushing it off afterwards is gas-lighting.

Maybe you chose to have an uncommon vocabulary because of your insecurities, but I don't think that was the case with a lot of us. I occassionally have someone give me crap about using "big words" when I'm using what seems to be perfectly normal words. (This problem has almost completely gone away since I left high school and only have to be around reasonably mature adults, but I do have one friend who likes to joke that I'm making up words. One of the words he said that about was a three-syllable word I learned as part of the normal curriculum in third grade.)

The problem isn't actually "big words" (no one would expect you to avoid using the word "encyclopedia") but rather words that the listener doesn't know, or sometimes things that the listener would have chosen to word differently. That's not information we have access to. The next best thing would be knowing how common each word is, but I for one don't actually have a database of word frequency stored in my head.

Even if you can tell which words are uncommon, this simple-as-that solution means that, for everything you say, you have to use this mental process: Form a thought > form a sentence in your head > find uncommon words in the sentence > reword the sentence in your head to avoid using those words > repeat the last two steps until you have only common words in your sentence, while also making sure it still communicates your thought correctly > say the sentence. For someone with poor verbal communication skills, that's really hard to do! Especially since you tend to have a sort of time limit during conversations. Plus, replacing precise words with common words usually means your sentence overall is going to have more words and more syllables, so it's easier to mess something up while speaking (skipping, mispronouncing, or swapping words), and it can get physically exhausting for your throat.

Maybe it would be good to practice that for general situations, but with your parents? In an education meeting? I don't think it's reasonable for them to require that kind of verbal gymnastics, or to laugh at you for being unable to do it.