Really taken aback after reading this

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Please let's not start an nt/aspie war here, as these few unhappy women don't speak for everyone. But I couldn't believe how horrible these women speak of men with Asperger's syndrome. Even a few mentioned wanting to kill their husbands for not getting the attention and validation they deserve!

I was really hurt reading this... Not so much the article but the comments following it.

This is exactally why I'll never be with another nt women again (couldn't imagine marrying one) Their emotional needs seem to override everything else in the universe.

A wiseman once said: if females ruled the planet we would have world war once a month seriously though how can someone be so cruel just because they aren't getting enough attention?

Here's the link: http://www.experienceproject.com/storie ... me/2035114

Like you said, not all NT women are like that.

Please don't give up the pursuit of your life partner owing to a neurological distinction.

My experience was the complete opposite of that. My partners (until my current one) found I was too affectionate and gave too much attention to them. Guess you can't go on assumptions or stereotypes. Other than one who cried constantly (seriously, she NEVER stopped), most were very level and never got upset or angry, including my current one.

Actually I didn't find the comments that bad.I thought the OP was fine but there was that one post by someone who gets abused by her husband and I would say run for the hills. I didn't read the rest of the comments since the page is too long.

Not all women are like that.

I've been married 24 years to an intelligent, understanding, compassionate, hard-working woman who is very accomodating of my autistic characteristics. Oh - and she's good looking too.

I'm a lucky man.

Keep looking - there are some great NT women out there that appreciate a good aspie guy.

My NT partner and I have complimentary traits. If not for her I'd probably only leave the house every couple of months to stock up at Sam's Club. She's not so good with finances, assembling stuff, and fixing things. I handle that stuff. She handles talking to people, planning outings, and making sure we eat more than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

I was married to an (undiagnosed) Aspie previously and it was lonely. It was like we were just roommates, each doing our own thing. I'll agree that NTs require more attention and things are more emotionally driven in their world, which drives me nuts at times, but it's also been a growing experience for me. I may not always understand but I've become more empathetic because I want things to be right in her world.

The thing that bothers me the most is that these women seem willing to complain about their partner but not willing to sit down and TALK to them. Communication is the center of the relationship; if it isn't there, the relationship is hollow.
Also, what's with the women who have been married for long periods to these men, and are only now having a problem? Did the men change? Were they like this when they met? And, if so, why did these women marry them? I don't think I'll ever understand how some women can get into a serious relationship with a flawed man with the expectation that she can then change him into the man she REALLY wants to be married to. He isn't going to change. If he isn't the man you want to marry as he is, DON'T MARRY HIM! How is that hard to understand?

Some women stay and hope they will change and expect them too. You can't just expect someone to change, what you see is what you get and if you don't like it, leave. That is what I did. I didn't sit back and hope for the day they will change and become the person I want them to be. I gave it a little time and when nothing had improved, I had left.

Also I saw in one of the comments that one of them changed after they got married so I would say that wasn't her fault there. Then she wrote that man is trying to make an effort on their marriage so that means he is trying to change again. He wants to save their marriage so he is making an effort now. She may have left if there was no improvement or him trying.

Oh stop with the misogynistic nonsense; anyone who's lived on Earth for more than a week can see that men's emotions are far more likely to lead to violence. You want to see not getting "enough" attention lead to real cruelty? Try looking into the experience of womyn who say no to some guy who's taken an interest in them. Especially if there's no one else around at the time, or they happen to leave their drinks out unattended. It's a helluva lot worse than some mean words on the Internet.

I'm so damn tired of all the self-centered misogynists on this forum who think the worst thing in the world is to be a guy who can't get dates with or get along with womyn, then start weaving their own little emotionally-driven mythologies about what womyn and our lives are like.

Hmmm......."taken aback" = taken by surprise. Didn't have quite that effect on me, would have done a year or two ago though. Just makes me sad and upset to see that people don't always have enough sense and compassion. Autism can pose big challenges in relationships, if everybody's enlightened enough then it can often be worked through, if not, then not, and that's when these webpages get written. It can be pretty upsetting to see the venting and tales of cruelty. I try not to read too much of it these days or I get angry and depressed. Being autistic myself and having felt the pain of the autism of others (as well as the pleasure), having been inside some stressful situations, it's personal, I want to know what goes on with other people in those situations but my emotions can run quite high, naturally.

I think in a relationship you have to take responsibility for being in that relationship, and avoid the blame game, and get out if you can't stand the heat, otherwise just redouble your efforts to make it work, and think.

I couldn't help thinking about the era and culture in which discussions like that one - the experience project - are taking place.

The values a culture prizes most dearly influence everyone in it, for better or worse. And values have radically shifted in the past half century (which I would argue is perhaps not an accidental occurrence, but that's another topic). Compassion is no longer a value that western culture overtly admires - if it admires it any more at all. Personal greed has taken that place in the ranks of 'most valued cultural values'. This is not openly acknowledged though it is plain enough to see. Allied to that as primary cultural value, narcissism, ageism, individualism are covertly and overtly encouraged and reinforced at all levels of media and culture to a degree that no society in human history at any time has ever seen before.

So we will get this stuff more and more on the internet, and the haters reinforce one another, and hope to recruit new 'acolyte' haters, and it can start off with very subtle "hater" posts (where the OP may or may not mean to be malicious) but the malicious haters go there like iron filings to the magnet, and they stick together to validate and grow their discontent. Those sites almost never discuss options, choice and solutions - they tend to attract only whiners and haters who are dumping on others behind their spouse's backs, instead of fronting up to the issues they endlessly do the "poor me's" about. So I lack compassion for them, too...

I believe lots of haters "benefit" from the anonymity of the Internet.

They wouldn't dare "hate on somebody" to somebody's face.