Is this an example. of an NT "doing something"? please helpp

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So, I have been browsing the "NT's use conversation to do something" thread. It talked all about how people don't simply exchange information in conversation. http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums/viewt ... =3&t=87241

So today I was sitting with a friend in the dining hall and we were trying to figure out if our college gym was still open.
A guy who I knew had worked at the gym (I saw him working many nights, including the night before) walked past me so I called over to him,

Me: "Hey you work at the gym right?"
Him: "Not anymore".
Me: "Well do you know the gym hours?"
Him: "No. Try Checking online."


After he left I told my friend we'd check online. She said "he seemed really annoyed with you."
I was really surprised I had nooo idea he seemed annoyed. Then I thought back to "NT's do things in conversation." Maybe when he said "I do not work there anymore" he was signaling me to not ask him any questions. I know that he worked at the gym 2 days prior so maybe he wasn't simply exchanging the information that he doesn't work there. Maybe he was signaling to me not to continue with the conversation.

Am I correct? Am I getting this whole "NT's are doing things?"

Help me out... I'm lost...

It kinda sounds to me like he mighta lost his job there, or been forced to quit somehow, and well, resents it a bit and is probably angry. Nobody likes that happening, after all.

I've had pretty much that very same reaction when it happened to me way back when, and people asked me questions about it shortly after. It's like, you know what, this JUST happened, it really sucked, I'm angry, and I dont want to have to be reminded of it or think about it right now, or think about that place whatsoever, so stop asking me. That sort of idea. I never ACTUALLY said all of that to people, as I knew it wasnt THEIR fault, and I didnt want to be rude, but that was the general meaning I always wanted to give off. It's possible this guy might have been thinking along that line.

I dunno if this helps at all, and it's only one possibility. There's always others. But that's my own thoughts on what it might be.

Just remember NTs main objective isn't the truth.

It's protecting their Egos.

Learn this and you'll understand all interactions with them.

Of course he was probably just deflecting you to, protect his beseiged Ego.

These things are easy to understand once you get the knack of it. The truth of how the inner humam animal works.

Look, simply because NT people are a lot better at gauging impressions, doesn't mean we should subscribe to hyperbole like "NT's could care less about the truth, they only protect their egos" (which is more a consideration of culture than anything else, and not really an observation of cognitive differences per se) or that they somehow have a very specific understanding of the other person's mental state during these interactions.

Your NT friend probably has no idea either whether or not he worked there, etc. What she was able to ascertain was his agitation, and she would probably be able to guess at some reasonable explanations why. NT's don't communicate minute details in conversation that necessarily lead to complete abstract thoughts. There is nothing empirical about it. What they can communicate easier is impressions, moods, and so on. There is a cacophony of reasons he might have been irritated with you. One reason you could consider is that he wasn't irritated with the words you said to him, but rather he was irritated at your tone of voice, your manner or posture, or something else of that nature.

Also, your NT friend is no prophet or mind reader either. Simply because he gave her that impression doesn't instantly mean he was irritated, and even if he was it may not have been you that irritated him. He may have been irritated by something else already, and expressed this to you with his tone of voice and facial expressions either involuntarily, or as an indication that because he is already predisposed to be irritated he doesn't feel like conversing with you at the moment.

Lukecash12,

The "Ego" is not a cultural phenomenon, I assure you. It is rooted in every human's basic biology.

Ignore this simple fact and you'll be at the mercy of other people's egos for the remainder of your life.

Happy Existing to you

It certainly is. But holding that the protection of the ego is an omnipresent concern for NT's, is a hyperbolic idea. NT people also have other concerns, much of which are formed by culture.

Any NT input?

That's not typical "NT" behavior. It's behavior more typical of a crass, rude individual.

Sounds to me like the guy just didn't want to help, either because he isn't a very helpful guy or he wasn't in a helpful mood. I don't see any mysterious sub-text in his words. It seems to me more a case of what he didn't say - like "Well, I don't work here any more but I used to. Do you want some advice?" and "The hours used to be x till y, but don't take that as gospel, they could have changed them. I think they have a Web page that ought to be up to date with that kind of thing."

People like that annoy me, but I suppose nobody has a particular duty to be helpful. Just that so many people do try to co-operate on matters that don't cost them anything that it seems rude when somebody doesn't. What's the word..........courtesy, that's it.

People have a strange was of speaking. I would have just thought he didn't know the hours and gave you a suggestion to find out.

I'm half NT. I thought Misery might be right about the employee may have had a bad experience with his job and was resentful and angry. He also may have been in the middle of a bad day and in a bad mood. Also, when you asked him if he worked at the gym, he may have gotten his hopes up that you were being friendly but really you wanted to know the gym hours.

I am NT. Since your friend thought he was annoyed, you are probably right that when he told you he didn't work there, that was your cue to not ask further questions, yes. But it is more complicated than that phrase indicating that you should stop asking; it's about his tone of voice when he said it really.

Hmmm.......could have been a blunt Aspie response I guess, and the suggestion to try the Web might have been a sincere attempt to help. Though I'm skeptical. I've seen so many instances of people fobbing each other off by recommending they go somewhere else for help, when they know all the time that it won't do any good to go there. I think people in general have this way of responding to those who ask for help, where even if they have little or nothing to offer, they show that they're at least willing to try. In practical terms it's useless of course, but emotionally they're being reassuring. Taken too far it can be as annoying as not doing it at all.