If you are aware of your disorder, do you still have it?

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Hey guys. Quick question. I've never sought treatment before for things like aspergers or disorders, but I'm like poor and have to go through one of those government-subsidized medicare mental health programs. Anywho, I saw a clinician today, and was telling her how I have(undiagnosed) Paranoid Personality Disorder and that it runs in my family(my father and my brother have it). She immediately cut me off by saying that "I don't think you have Paranoid Personality Disorder," and I asked why, and her response was "people who have it are in denial that they have it in the first place." She then went on to say that I'm probably just ascribing disorders to myself that aren't true. But that's besides the point...

Is it possible to have a disorder, and be self-aware of your having that disorder? Especially if you had to live through your mirror image(father) and the less-desirable expressions of this disorder, and coming away from it all saying "F*** that, I'm never going to be that way to my kids," only to realize that the same situations and circumstances that causes you to hate your family member because of their disorder, illicit the same emotional and psychological response from you? And that as a result, you need to educate your heart on how to rationally feel about certain things, and actively work to counter-act those undesirable symptoms that make you difficult to live with?

I wasn't too happy by this clinician invalidating my experience. Truth be told, she has to save money, so i understand her attempts to dissuade my seeking help for mental health for things that her medical program isn't obligated or payed by the state to treat. But I need a second opinion on whether self-awareness, paired with active-mangement to counter-act something whose horrors you had to live through yourself from someone else with the same disorder, disqualifies you from having that disorder. As if self-help and self-therapy means you don't necessarily have the disorder in its fullest expression, and perhaps occupy some other title, such as post-PPD, formerly-PPD, or even "treated." I still suffer from PPD, but I need a rebuttal that will be effective against her crass dismissal.

It is definitely possible to be aware of your disorder and still have it.
I think the only people who would be unable to are those who lack insight of their own thoughts and behaviors.
Some mental illnesses have a tendency to cause a lack of insight, but that doesn't mean that everyone who has them is completely unable to realise what's going on.

I have had issues with paranoia before, and still do to a moderate extent.
I may not have PPD, but I am aware of it being abnormal, even though part of my mind thinks such thoughts are perfectly valid. It generally doesn't cause me a large amount of stress, so that's one reason I haven't sought help [for that issue].

"people who have it are in denial that they have it in the first place" is not a good statement in my opinion. Those who are in denial generally know what is going on, but have refused to accept it on an emotional level.

Yes, it is possible. You have had this mirror and dxéd close family member with the disorder. That woman cannot in one meeting dismiss it. You´re right,- she tries to save money.
Is there an autism centre nearby? If so, you may get some advice. Universities can sometimes provide assessment.

It is possible.

However in your case you might have to ask yourself if it is really a disorder on your side or you simply take over the believes of your father and brother.

My father is really distrusting and paranoid too and I picked it up from him but those aren't my thoughts. For example he always used to say "Clean your room when you invite people or else your friends will talk about you behind your back" so I clean my room out of fear I will lose my friends but I personally don't fully believe my friends would betray me just for seeing some mess. It seems illogical to me. But I follow it anyway.

Sometimes it is hard to distinguish what your loved ones used to tell you when you were growing up from your personal thoughts and believes because their statements are fixed deep in your mind.

You might have a disorder--but at least you have insight into it.

It is both possible and common.

In psychology, the term is "good insight", and it means that you are aware of your own thinking and how it affects you.

The idea that "crazy people don't know they're crazy" is a fallacy. Most people with mental illnesses and neurological conditions (autism is a neurological difference, by the way, not a mental illness; the autistic brain is built differently) know that they are different and know that they are having problems related to that difference.

Some disorders can have poor insight, but these are usually ones that involve psychosis, like bipolar mania or schizophrenia. And even then, some of those people are aware of what's happening, especially during the less-severe parts of their episodes of psychosis.

Good insight is said to be a sign that improvement, recovery, or the acquisition of coping skills will be easier and take less time.

Yes, one can be aware of what they have. This cannot negate having the disorder.

I hope you get a good doctor

Hi Callista

Long Time No See!

I think Sweetleaf touched on a good point, going in and saying "I have x" usually puts them on the defensive. I thought it would be helpful thing, but I've found it usually goes better if I go in saying my symptoms and ask them what they think.

Thanks everyone for the feedback, I'll share some thoughts.