What is Aspergers like?

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Being that the DSM-V kinda lumps things together now as ASD I'm not sure if I have (high functioning) Autism or Aspergers (I've been diagnosed as having ASD Level 1) my brother and to an extent my father thinks I have Aspergers due to my functioning level tho from my understanding the cut off for Aspergers is not having any speech delays to which I had some growing up so I don't know if I'm automatically eliminated from having an Aspergers diagnoses. So I turn to you guys if you would you would please describe what it's like having Aspergers as it pertains to your daily life. what accommodations or needs you may need and what you can do on your own

Thank you all

I see you as Aspergian.

For me ...

It's being alone in a crowd.

It's being told, "I know how you feel" when the person telling you couldn't be further from the truth.

It's compiling lists in alphabetical order.

It's knowing how a movie will end within a few minutes after the opening credits have stopped rolling, yet being unable to get the joke someone told me until a few days later.

It's never knowing exactly what is going on in other people's lives; but only that something is going on, and that they're all talking among themselves about it.

It's not going to school dances (or the prom) because you know that no one will want to dance with you because you're too weird.

It's verifying the accuracy of a sales receipt after grocery shopping by adding everything up on no less than three different electronic calculators ... and then doing it once more by hand.

Could be high functioning autism. Some people with asperger DO have a speech delay.

I would not focus much on the DSM-V criteria. I think the criteria is too vague and chances are if you meet up with a pyschiatrist who just knows the DSM-V handbook and has ZERO experience in autism, you get no diagnose.

A complete guide to asperger syndrome by tony attwood also explains why the DSM-V criteria is not so good in some area's.

For example, in the book it is stated that about 5 to 15% of the people with asperger do not have a special interest. Yet, alot of psychiatrists will not diagnose you with asperger if you dont have a special interest. Earlier in the book, there is also a chapter that explains imitation very well. Someone with asperger can become so good at imitating people, acting and learning scripts (by watching TV for ex..)that it is very hard to convince a psychiatrist that he/she indeed has AS.

On topic :

Note : I am self diagnosed. My grandfather, father have highly autistic traits and my brother is autistic too.


For me, it is saying things in social situations with brutal honesty. There are no filters.
In social situations, i also dont see jokes easely so when i am going all-in being all serious, people are laughing really hard.

It is also losing keys at work due to the chaotic nature of my job.

It is seeing patterns in everything, trying to create order and a logical understanding.

It is also delaying to fill in important paper work, i suck with planning.

I also suck at cleaning up my room and keeping things in order. I never learned how.

I cannot keep conversations going. I can only talk about myself, science, collective wage agreements and the law, photography. I always try to go back to my 'safe' area in this regard.

It is not feeling well with eye contact.

It is loosing balance all of a sudden even when standing still sometimes.

It is extreme black / white thinking.

It is following your own morale, principles and life rules very strictly.

However, i am a real actor and am very adaptive to social scripts. Anyone who has watched Dr house, star trek TNG and many other shows will recognise where my facial expressions and scripts come from.

Confused in what someone is saying ? give a 'nod' very similar to cmdr data in that situation.
Are you in a situation where someone is showing his deepest emotions, and you feel empathic but dont know how to express facially that you care? I have learned that dr house's rolling eyes and facial expressions work best.

On the plus side, i dont appear to have alexithymia or get meltdowns when things dont happen out of routine. I do get very clumsy and nervous in such situations tho.

I am not officially diagnosed, but that I have Aspergers/ASD Level 1 is basically a formality as this point.

It is desperately wanting friends but having no idea how, even though I am generally well liked.

It is being too weird to be normal and too normal to be weird.

It is CONSTANTLY being misunderstood by peers.

It is feeling like there was an email sent around the world.... and only I wasn't copied on it.

It is NEVER being able to forget even semi-traumatic events.

It is struggling to be understood and accepted.

if you suspect you have it and are an adult than you most likely have it.

Non-aspies have friends with them all the time and can easily relate to other people and make new friends. They are never socially awkward. Their main preoccupations are:

-how to get more money to increase my quality of life
-waiting to get holiday to have fun because work isn't fun (it isn't fun because it's boring, but they all have good relationships with co-workers)
-living life in the traditional way, growing up, getting to know women and having sex with them, getting married and having kids and living the good life.

They never get depressed or have to worry about other being liked by other people like aspies do, or fitting in. If they have problems with somebody, they simply adress him as being and "idiot", and tell their friends about them, getting help from the feel of power of being able to ostracize someone socially. Those "idiots" are mostly autistic guys hidden in society, and that's the reason they get bullied or ignored, because the NTs tell everybody about them.

Having no friends.
Being hated and shunned by your peers.
Being regularly told that you're a parasite who shouldn't exist.
Being regularly told to kill yourself.
Being accused of staring at people and stalking them.
Etc.

I'm used to this crap and I don't notice it anymore. I no longer give a damn about what other people think. I live for myself, not for them.

1. Essence:
Insecurity and often confusion in social situations. You very easily overstep something, because you don´t pick up subtle cues, read faces well etc.
Being literal, thus often missing jokes.
Lacking social imagination to a degree ("what goes on in her head, when she says this?")
A different kind of logic than NT´s - more "to the bone".

2. "Bonus":
Sometimes, though not for absolutely everyone: Difficulty understanding, what is being said. Sometimes it can be a row of sounds. Delayed processing.
Proprioceptive insecurity (Where are my limbs?): may cause clumsiness, bumping into furniture and things like that. (That´s why the majority of aspies dislike team sport ).

It can all vary in periods

It means neither not understanding or agreeing with the way most people think. (Prom mentioned by Fnord is a perfect example. I Just don't get it)

It means being able to think or do things that I think is obvious that others think is some great revelation or way beyond their capacity and being poorly or unable to do things that most everybody else thinks is easy or obvious.

It's a longing for comfort but an inability to handle physical contact. It's wincing at the school bell, watery eyes in the summer. It's isolation.
But it's also standing out in the rain because I love the feeling of the water hitting my face, and it's drawing in a quiet place as the entire world disappears, and it's gazing out the car window and noticing every detail of the passing streets.

For me it's like always feeling inferior to other people.

It's like I think of all the right things to say in my head but scared to verbalize them because I might get interrupted or not heard, and feel silly.

It's like feeling overwhelmed with the pressure of going to work, feeling anxious at having to follow rules, but not really knowing why rules make me anxious. It's like I desire freedom.

It's like there's so much things I want to do, but shyness and lack of confidence holds me back. When I used to work in a small shop a few years ago, I got so anxious when I was left alone on the till. When a lot of customers came in at the same time, I started to clam up, have sweaty palms, have palpitations, and just wanted to flee. It was an overwhelming shyness that came over me.

It's like I want to act really silly and say silly things, but I know I can't always be like that because that is where I get seen as odd.

Honestly, Mr. Fnord provided the best example you'll get. Asperger's is a lot more than having social anxiety and not looking someone in the eye like you'll find in short google search summaries of the disability, and we all function differently as a result, weather successful or not.

Joe90 and Fnord.....Yes.

These.


Furthermore, It's demolishing the opposing team in a debate using facts, reason and logic, but then nearly losing the final vote because they made an appeal to emotion.

It's people assuming that your face always reflects your state of mind.

It's being amazed at how some people have enough brain function to keep breathing, yet at the same time always doubting your own adequacy.

It's being told you must respect other people's opinions on matters entirely grounded in facts, and be regarded as a disrespectful ass if you don't.

It's having the mindset of a supervillain, but lacking the executive function to actually take over the world. Small-scale megalomania has a certain catharsis to it.

It's wondering if there are others like you out there, and not knowing whether to feel alone because there aren't, or scared because there are...

Excellent answers! Here are a few of my own:

It’s like living behind a glass wall and knowing that no matter how hard you try to appear normal and free of walls, you will always be behind that glass wall.

It’s having to research and consciously practice, for years, basic social skills that most everyone around you seems to take for granted, while those others have to practice thinking analytically and you think analytically as a matter of course because you analyze things all the time.

It’s being a 40 year old man, walking down any random hallway with his hands over his ears to muffle the sound of flying insects, because he finds the buzzing literally painful.

It’s becoming irrationally enraged when someone inadvertently ruins your morning routine and having to sooth yourself before leaving for the day.

It’s preferring the truth over social convention and “fitting in”.

It’s feeling like an alien. All. The. Time.