Adult Meltdowns?

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I've read that lots of people grow out of meltdowns but I haven't.
I'm wondering how many others still have full blown meltdowns?
I'm also dxed with bipolar disorder and PTSD so maybe that's got something to do with it.

My Aspie daughter is going through a really difficult stage at the moment and it doesn't help matters when, at the end of a particularly hard day, I completely lose it. She's super sensitive so it's probably damaging. I feel awful about it, but at the same time I honestly don't know what I could've done at that moment. I have chronic fatigue too so not a lot of resources.

Thanks,
Zel

Adults on the spectrum can get meltdowns as well as children and teens. I have Asperger's syndrome and I've had my fair share of meltdowns or anxiety attacks. From what I know about autism, meltdowns are triggered by a lot of agitations throughout the day that build up and cause one to have explosive emotions when those agitations have added up and can't stay in tact any longer. Think of it like a Jenga tower; each block represents a source of agitation. When you stack enough blocks on top of each other, the tower will fall. Some towers will fall sooner than others, which represents how well others may be dealing with the agitation. The way one stacks the blocks (facing horizontal or vertical to the person) determines how soon the tower will fall. These Jenga blocks represent the stress coping strategies you may act on. Everybody's tower will collapse eventually, as we are not INVULNERABLE to stress. Meltdowns are triggered by sensory overload, anger, frustration, and/or stress/anxiety. Maybe you could try having you and your daughter meet with a therapist and see if they can give you some help with managing stress. What exactly is the root cause of a hard day in most cases for you?
Also, yes, the BPD and PTSD may contribute to the meltdowns depending on the occasion.

I still have meltdowns. I reach a point where I will just blow. I had one a couple of weeks ago. I was getting poor services from MyFamilyMobile from Wal-Mart. I reached a point when talking on the phone to the members service rep that I just started yelling at the top of my lungs. It happened because she kept telling me to stop yelling when I was not yelling. This is why I started yelling at the top of my lungs. She was so ignorant and was not listening to what I was talking about. It did not help that she was in India and kept having me repeat myself. I had to spell my name 5 times before she got it right. I thought for sure I was going to throw the worthless cell phone that I was calling to complain about. Meltdowns are a very big part of my life. My father had them to and he was worse then me. He once almost drove an elderly lady off the road while driving because he was angry because she was driving to slow. I think that someone's personality and the way they were raised to deal with stressful situations plays a big part in weather or not you will out grow meltdowns.

I have them sometimes but not often.

I never grew out of them, but I did learned how to mostly avoid the triggers or lessen their effect. Even so, they are sometimes unavoidable, but I can usually hold them off until I'm at home, alone, and can't embarrass myself or do damage. It is very seldom that anyone sees me in that state anymore.

I still have them and I strongly relate to Rodey316's descriptions of how and why (quoted below).

It's very much an accumulation of stress that triggers mine. I'm also more susceptible in a more global way, by which I mean if my life happens to be in a generally less stressful situation all-around, my meltdowns are fewer and farther between. But if things are "permanently" not in a good place for me long-term, all the other factors then have a lower tipping point and meltdowns are harder to avoid or deflect.

I'm currently in a situation where I have higher stress factors on a long-term basis than I've ever had before as an adult, and I'm also having more regular meltdowns than I've ever had since I was a child and younger person. There was a phase before when my adult circumstances were better and I was virtually meltdown free for years.

Well, I'm not really much of an adult but I imagine meltdowns will remain an issue for me in the future. I still have them sometimes, but it's not a daily or even weekly thing like it was when I was a child. My meltdowns will cluster in a very short span (a couple smaller meltdowns and likely a single really explosive one at some point within a single week or so) when life is particularly stressful and then I go quite awhile without any.

I had a completely out of control meltdown just a couple of months ago that was probably just as bad as your average child's. Haven't had one since... not even a minor one. The biggest reason why I, and I assume many other adults on the spectrum, no longer have meltdowns with the same frequency and intensity even when I do is the fact that I have a significant amount of control over what I do and don't do/what I am and am not exposed to. I know what I can handle and what to avoid. I also now am able to identify when I do start to reach a tipping point and take time to myself. The times that I do have major meltdowns now are pretty much always because I've lost all practical control in a situation (and "opting out" for a bit to level down isn't an option either) and the only thing left I can control is my emotions and, well, that's not something I've gotten too good at. I can hold off more minor meltdowns until I at least am able to be alone, though.

Logston, I relate very much to this:

I have shutdowns and meltdowns.
I hate most people, mainly because ppl are ignorant, selfish and violent. I never get any peace.

Logston,

You're right. Whether or not we have shutdowns or meltdown has to do with how much control you have ovet a situation. Especially having the ability to leave.

Which is why I'm mortally terrified of cops (or pigs, If u wish). In the presence of a cop, you not allowef to leave, walk away, not answer their stupid questions, not take their random accusations (i think only men understand this part), and not take their physical abuse. Not to mention they can make false claims that u didn't cooperate (usually if they don't like you) and slap u with a trumped up charge that way.
Talk about the ultimate bully.

If I have a meltdown while being trapped and abused by a cop, I might aswell kiss my life goodbye. Especially since I don't have an ASD diagnosis. There should be a law for cops to leave autistic ppl alone. Or face prison time and be kicked off "the force".

I had problems with sensory issues causing rage. I've learned to manage it pretty well in that regard, although I still have other sensory problems. Here's info on what works for me, if you're curious.

I think it's easy to have these kinds of problems from sensory overload without having any clue that it's the cause because (a) it's so many little things that add up (b) some times the stuff that adds up doesn't even have to be bad or annoying (c) you've probably never experienced life without sensory issues.

I have meltdowns when I feel completely overwhelmed or out of control of a situation. I try hard not to around my children as I don't want to be a walking, talking contradiction telling them they can't have a tantrum when I am.

My main trigger is my family, especially when they have forced a social event on me. Bad time keeping or unplanned arrivals are disastrous for me. I HATE poor time keeping. I am not late. Ever. I despise it when others are late but also if they arrive too early I freak out. I have been known to be barely talk to my family when they have done this and busied myself cleaning when they are here until I calm down. People know not to attempt to visit unless invited or without giving me at least a days notice. I cannot deal with it. My home is my safe place. I rarely go out unless I have to so having this invasion makes me anxious and frustrated until I have it back to myself again.

Too much noise will also tip me over the edge. I am constantly complaining that everyone is being too loud, talking too loud or shouting when everyone else seems to think it's at an appropriate level. This is another reason I do not like family gatherings. I cannot control the level of noise and just want to run away but have to mostly suffer through it or leave the room. My son does this also. When we have family over for birthdays he will often retreat to his room or in a room where there are less people.

I have meltdowns, less so than when I was a kid though. I tend to shutdown more, particularly in public.

Yes, it's awful. It's like my body takes over and I am just along for the ride. Of course, I can barely speak, so I can't explain it to people.

Eh I have ADHD and as a child I had lots of meltdowns. Mostly from being overwhelmed by things and not knowing how to settle and get started with tasks or just too much things going on around me so I couldn't focus. Its super annoying even now when I'm trying to do something that takes concentration to be asked a million questions but I don't get so worked up anymore I just step away and calm down before I lose my cool and then go back to what I'm doing. As for being overwhelmed I still get that way too but as an adult I've taught myself to only handle what is most important first. By doing that the icky nervous feeling goes away and I can do the things I need to do in time.

I also still have meltdowns, not as bad as a couple years ago before I got professionaly diagnosed and learned some better coping skills. My old meltdowns were very violent, usualy throwing stuff at the ground or at someone that I saw as the source of my fustration. But these days I can feel those coming on and excuse myself to a quiet area to calm down. I still have mini meltdowns or partial ones depending how you want to look at it. Usualy something will upset my routine or like others have said, I will feel totaly out of control and go into a meltdown. I also can have a shutdown, usualy post meltdown but sometimes on its own. Those usualy involve me curled into a ball on the floor/bed/couch crying till I fall asleep. Both meltdowns and shutdowns are very tiring for me and all I want to do is sleep for the rest of the day afterwards. Dodger