Description of a particular experience, can u relate?

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Recently I've felt this overwhelming well of loneliness begin to catch up with me and it's very difficult to describe. Finally I think I know what it is. I've always had my own world which I really valued and never really made me feel significantly lonely when growing up. As a child I would indulge in it completely, as a teenager it made me feel less lonely but also somewhat melancholic...now at 24 I've felt that the feelings tha tbelong to this world are somehow not quite enough. I feel that actually I am trapped in this world...and what's more, I cannot really let anyone in. For years i've had recurring dreams where I woudl see something incredibly beautiful but I would always be alone and never able to share it with anyone else. The image would always disappear at the point of showing it to someone else. I tried to talk about this to a close friend on the phone and almost burst into tears because it was very difficult to describe. I feel maybe it might have something to do with being single for a long time but even having a romantic partner again wouldn't be quite enough but at least it would distract me from this feeling.

I think I've had that deeply alone feeling my whole life, even while I'm a natural introvert who values time alone and copes well with even complete isolation. But I still have feelings of loneliness and that sharing something with someone, like a beautiful view, can often enrich an experience, as long as it's the right person, by which I mean, someone I've come to be completely comfortable with. I can richly enjoy things alone, and often need the alone time as the company of anyone less than a close friend in fact distracts and "fuzzes" my mind up. But I think I know what you mean about that deep loneliness that never really goes away.

I definitely know what you mean about that never-ending feeling of loneliness. I actually started watching a film the other day that was about two best friends, and I had to turn it off after about ten minutes because I started crying, seeing two people who were so close that they were practically sisters. I always wanted something like that when I was younger.

I sometimes think that as a society we're kind of told that we should have friends, and have some sort of a social life. However, what I've learned since I was diagnosed with AS is that being alone is okay, and it doesn't mean that I can't have friends or that no one cares about me, it's just the way I am.

What I'm trying to say is that accepting that part of who I am has made that never-ending loneliness occur less often, and when it does come it is much more bearable. Just remember that you are special and you are loved, and that even though you might feel alone and sad, doesn't mean that you aren't worthwhile.