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DevilKisses
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07 Jul 2015, 12:07 am

I've been getting to know someone. We mainly play and write music together. I was talking about my lack of a love life and she mentioned a guy. She said that he has Asperger's. Is that a sign she suspects I have it or did she just randomly mention it?


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StarTrekker
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07 Jul 2015, 12:26 am

I suppose it depends on how much time you've spent with this individual, and how good a job you feel you've done of hiding your traits. I'd assume she just mentioned it because it's an interesting fact about someone she knows. That said, she seems like a good person to open up to about your diagnosis, since she seems to know at least a little about what it entails. Depending on how severe your condition is, and how much time you plan on spending with this person in the future, it could be difficult to hide it from her forever.


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DevilKisses
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07 Jul 2015, 12:48 am

StarTrekker wrote:
I suppose it depends on how much time you've spent with this individual, and how good a job you feel you've done of hiding your traits. I'd assume she just mentioned it because it's an interesting fact about someone she knows. That said, she seems like a good person to open up to about your diagnosis, since she seems to know at least a little about what it entails. Depending on how severe your condition is, and how much time you plan on spending with this person in the future, it could be difficult to hide it from her forever.

My traits are pretty mild. I don't even think I have full Asperger's or autism. I think I just have traits. I've had more success not disclosing my traits. People understand me better if they just think I'm a quirky NT.


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StarTrekker
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07 Jul 2015, 1:16 am

If that's the case, it's unlikely she suspects anything. In my experience, either your traits have to be obvious, or the other person has to be quite knowledgeable about ASDs (e.g a parent of an autistic child or professional of sorts). If she's noticed anything, she probably just thinks you're on the quirky side. Am I correct in assuming you don't have an official diagnosis?


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DevilKisses
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07 Jul 2015, 1:30 am

StarTrekker wrote:
If that's the case, it's unlikely she suspects anything. In my experience, either your traits have to be obvious, or the other person has to be quite knowledgeable about ASDs (e.g a parent of an autistic child or professional of sorts). If she's noticed anything, she probably just thinks you're on the quirky side. Am I correct in assuming you don't have an official diagnosis?

I do have an official diagnosis, but my parents had to do some diagnosis shopping for me to get it. I've had several people* suspect I'm not autistic.
*Some regular people as well as doctors and mental health professionals.


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progaspie
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07 Jul 2015, 3:41 am

The way you stated it DevilKisses, I'm assuming your friend's comment came up in random conversation, so I wouldn't give it a second thought, unless your friend mentions it again and even then I wouldn't say anything to her.



kraftiekortie
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07 Jul 2015, 5:41 am

Have you written any songs?



DevilKisses
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07 Jul 2015, 12:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Have you written any songs?

I have. One song is almost done, but a lot of my songs are nowhere near done.


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kraftiekortie
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07 Jul 2015, 12:55 pm

I'd like to see one you wrote.



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07 Jul 2015, 1:44 pm

I'm assuming she knows or can tell you are in some way on the spectrum. I know it's pretty discouraging when you try so hard to hide your diagnosis from someone just to realize that the whole time, they where hiding the fact that they knew all along. I've had people call me out in the same way before. She's probably testing you aswell, how did you react when she mentioned the guy with Aspergers? That was probably part of the test mate...



DevilKisses
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07 Jul 2015, 1:50 pm

Crazyfool wrote:
I'm assuming she knows or can tell you are in some way on the spectrum. I know it's pretty discouraging when you try so hard to hide your diagnosis from someone just to realize that the whole time, they where hiding the fact that they knew all along. I've had people call me out in the same way before. She's probably testing you aswell, how did you react when she mentioned the guy with Aspergers? That was probably part of the test mate...

I hope not. I did mention my occasional sensory issues, but she has them as well. I think my sensory issues have more to do with being a sensitive hippie than an aspie. When she mentioned the guy has Asperger's I said that I'm kind of familiar with that. I think my body language was off as well, but I'm not sure if she noticed.


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SocOfAutism
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07 Jul 2015, 3:50 pm

My first thought is that yes she does. I use this as a tactic to get people to open up to me about being on the spectrum. I think I have pretty good ausdar (lol), but that's not something you'd want to directly ask someone. It's like asking someone if they're gay. It's not your business, you know? Why would someone try to find out? For me, personally, I'm trying to make professional contacts and ask people's opinions about my research. For another person, they might just be trying to get to know you.

BUT...now that I'm thinking about it...I have happened to have a lot of autistic friends throughout my life, way before I knew what autism was. People tell me I have a really expressive face, and I also have a habit of talking a little too matter of fact. Maybe that makes me get along better with autistic people as opposed to non-autistic ones. Maybe your friend is like that and it's just a coincidence that her other friend is an aspie.



DevilKisses
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07 Jul 2015, 4:43 pm

SocOfAutism wrote:
My first thought is that yes she does. I use this as a tactic to get people to open up to me about being on the spectrum. I think I have pretty good ausdar (lol), but that's not something you'd want to directly ask someone. It's like asking someone if they're gay. It's not your business, you know? Why would someone try to find out? For me, personally, I'm trying to make professional contacts and ask people's opinions about my research. For another person, they might just be trying to get to know you.

BUT...now that I'm thinking about it...I have happened to have a lot of autistic friends throughout my life, way before I knew what autism was. People tell me I have a really expressive face, and I also have a habit of talking a little too matter of fact. Maybe that makes me get along better with autistic people as opposed to non-autistic ones. Maybe your friend is like that and it's just a coincidence that her other friend is an aspie.

Nice to have an NT perspective. Now that I think of it, I think she was testing me in other ways. Hope that she's not. I can get quite paranoid. She might also be somewhere on the spectrum. She mentions she has sensory issues as well and she has similar mannerisms to an aspie youtuber. She's 40, so she's not the same age as me.
The aspie guy she was talking about is part of a family that she's known for a while. He's around 17-19. I'm also queer, but I didn't feel like telling her that. I'd rather tell her that I'm queer/gay than tell her about my diagnosis. Maybe I should because I feel awkward when people think I'm straight.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical