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Crazyfool
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07 Jul 2015, 11:15 am

Does anyone else get extremely agitated due to symptoms surrounding autism? I'm always so unbareably uncomfortable that the smallest bit of extra stimuli mAmes me want to snap, and just start throwing stuff or hitting things around me.... It's in a sense kind of like rage and its very hard to deal with.

I never knew I was using hard drugs to combat these kind of feelings until my recent sobriety stint. So that's how unbareable my touch and sound sensitivities are, enough that it's worth the risk of death and or prison associated with heroin use.

I was on life support and on the verge of death from overdosing on heroin one month ago and I still considering using it again so I don't have to feel like this. How messed up is that? I need some help bad and nothing seems to do it :/



Crazyfool
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07 Jul 2015, 1:32 pm

Guess I'm the only one who "suffers" from aspergers. Wish I wasn't so special



ToughDiamond
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07 Jul 2015, 1:56 pm

I've been luckier than you, my physical hypersensitivities annoy me a lot, but not to the extent that I've been driven to using hard drugs. Every little irritation bothers me more than it should - itching, small aches and pains, some kinds of fluorescent lighting, unpredictable background noises, grease on my fingers, heat, cold, even needing to go to the toilet when it's really not desperate yet. Such things spoil a lot of my life.

On a bad day I might take a couple of ibuprofens, but I don't want to get dependent on them. Best coping strategy I've found is to get hyperfocussed on something that interests me. That seems to keep me from noticing a lot of the physicals.



Crazyfool
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07 Jul 2015, 2:42 pm

Thanks for your reply, unfortunatley I don't have any special interests, actually the opposite, I find everything so un appealing and boring that life just seems pointless :( the only thing that helped me cope was drugs. I've realized though that benzodiazepines help just as much as heroin did, but since I overdosed no doctor is willing to hear my complaints or even think about prescribing that kind of medicine, because it has an abuse potential....f'ing BS when it's the only thing that might keep me from using illeagle drugs again if my sensory problems aren't dealt with.



ToughDiamond
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07 Jul 2015, 7:07 pm

I've heard that anhedonia is a common problem for ex-users of strong recreational drugs. It might help to explain why you can't find anything interesting to do. Hope you get your sense of interest back soon.

I often don't have much interest in things when I first look at them. In fact just taking in things as entertainment, being a passive spectator, doesn't interest me much at all. But one thing that gets me interested is when I start actively pursuing a goal that's neither too hard nor too easy for me to achieve. It's usually boring to start with, but once I start seeing results, it engages me. I'm nothing unless I have a purpose.