Asperger's and Childhood

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Is it possible to a child with predisposing signs and symptoms of Asperger's but as a school age knew how to socialize ?

TOTALLY!! I'm a sociable Aspie!!

I was the kind of kid who would go up to people and say hi.

I sometimes said inappropriate things, though--like "Why are you fat?"

Very Aspie!

"Socialize" can be a vague term. Where it means casual (i.e. not immediately purposeful) interaction, some additional considerations might be:

- who typically initiates the interaction.
- in what setting or context does the initiation occurs.
- is there mutual interest in prolonging the interaction.
- is there true interpersonal interaction, or more just play in close proximity.
- who typically terminates the interaction.
- what nonverbal indications are there from the other parties of their response to the interaction.
- in what ways are any differences negotiated and resolved.

I say this because I can be quite adept at initiating social interaction, and at keeping the interaction going for some amount of time, while the other parties may react with folded arms and excusing themselves early on. Viewed superficially, one might think me "good" at socializing when the reality is more that in groups I am not infrequently the one whose presence others try their best to ignore or, failing that, to get away from at an early opportunity.

I wasn't too adept at continuing the interaction when I was a kid.

Asperger's is not all black and white and signs can vary widely from person to person, so yes, I believe this is possible. A child can have that ability and/or might have learned from observation.

Yes. It is not uncommon for the social issues to manifest in teenaged or young adult years. As a child, one has
a certain routine and safety net. But all bets are off when we hit puberty.

My cousin might be a good example of that. I don't know if he actually has Asperger's or not, but when he was a child he showed a LOT of typical Aspie signs, and no it definitely was not his upbringing. His sisters were definitely NTs, but he struggled terrifically.

He had terrible trouble with mixing, and wouldn't make eye contact with anyone he wasn't comfortable with. At social events, he would just sit there, not eat, not drink, and just hold a stiff posture and a blank face, not intending to talk to anybody, even if they encouraged him to. I was a very shy child too, and was very shy when I was first at a social event (although not as unresponsive as my cousin), but after a while I got more used to the social environment and would get up and play with the other children, until I began to enjoy myself socially. But my cousin would just sit in one spot throughout the whole social event, until it was time to go. His mum would worry about him.

That might sound like the actions of a very introverted child, perhaps with social anxiety. But he also showed other symptoms that could be more Aspie. Like at home he had a very odd obsession with electrical equipment, and would just spend hours taking things apart, and loved flicking switches on and off and spinning things. When I used to go round to play, I used to get bored with flicking switches and spinning things, and wanted to do something more fun. So he would just take me up to his room and start mucking around with this lamp in his room what he seemed to have a strange attachment to. He loved computers too, and although it was only the 90's, he HAD to have a computer (they were more expensive back then) and so his parents had to buy him one. Then he was happy, and would spend all week-end on it, drawing strange pictures and doing complicated stuff what his sisters thought was weird and wouldn't let their mates see him when they came round.

Also he had odd behaviour. When I used to play with him, he was always pulling me about, trying to pick me up, laughing and constantly being really annoying, and wouldn't just play sensibly. One time he even locked me in the shed and thought it was hilarious, but I was scared in there because there was spiders. Most other kids I played with, (even my brother), might have done something like that as a joke, but would let me out immediately, unless they were bullies. But my cousin was not a bully. It was just odd, maybe socially unacceptable behaviour what he didn't seem aware of at the time.

Sudden loud noises made him anxious, I could tell. Even when he was a teenager, although he tried to hide it, but I could still tell. And he had other sensory issues too.

His mum did have a social worker come round because of her concern of his behaviour, but for some reason he didn't get diagnosed with anything.

But on his 12th birthday, he invited 2 friends from his class to sleep over, and they turned up and had a great time. I never had that opportunity at school because I was afraid to ask anyone to sleep over mine, because I knew they wouldn't come. They'd just laugh at me and go ''me, at your house? Get real!'' or something hurtful like that. So my cousin must of been pretty good friends with these boys, and/or brave to invite them round his house to sleep. And now he's an adult, and is ALWAYS spending time with friends. He even has a house mate, and they sometimes have parties, inviting some other boys round, and they often all go out together for lunch or whatever. So, despite the noticeably odd and rather AS-type behaviour he displayed as a child, he still seemed to suddenly know how to make and keep friends.

I know he hasn't got a girlfriend, and doesn't seem to want to be bothered with a relationship, but he does spend a lot of time with mates. I have a boyfriend and I can naturally handle all the aspects of a relationship too, but I can't seem to make or keep friends as well as my cousin does.

Maybe some Aspies are good with friendships but not so good with romantic relationships, whilst other Aspies are good with deep romantic relationships but not so much with friendships. Or maybe some Aspies are just lucky enough to find friends that want to be with them.