Can you be autistic but very sociable?

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c700
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17 Jul 2015, 6:14 am

So I'm officially diagnosed with autism (I guess under the current criteria I would be level 2 or 3). However, I'm very sociable. I approach others, create social connections, and so on. I'm usually very "popular" in the social environments I'm in. I guess my eccentricity is more often appreciated rather than rejected by others. (This wasn't the case when I was in my adolescent years, though). I'm also pretty good at entrepreneurship, and I have several partners with whom we work on several business projects (software, game and website development mostly).

However, people tell me that they could tell that I'm autistic within a few minutes of meeting me.

Is it possible to be autistic but very sociable? What do you think makes people think I'm autistic?



Sunnyboy2
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17 Jul 2015, 6:34 am

Yes, every autistic person is different. Just like every NT person is different.

Story time. When I was a kid (by the time i could talk until about 6 years old) I'd go up to adults (complete strangers, never met them before ever) and I'd start talking... and talking.. and well.. I can't say I understood much, but I did talk a lot to people. I would never talk to other kids, I didn't really understand how and kids didn't know what I wanted to know (I usually asked questions about things like cars and stuff).

My father had to eventually make me stop approaching people out of the blue, I felt rather insulted about that at first. But there was obviously fine social skills I didn't comprehend until I was much older. But I learned you couldn't ask people that were old when they were going to die. And you couldn't ask people why they smelled bad. You could ask why people bought alcohol. ETC.

So being social and having autism, heck yeah that can be a thing.
As of what people notice/makes them think that you're autistic.. You'd have to answer that by looking/being aware of what you do in social situations. Not that you really need to, who cares what people think.



EzraS
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17 Jul 2015, 10:19 am

When an autistic person excels in something outside of the norm for us, it's sometimes considered a savant ability. I've known a few thoroughly autistic kids who were very social. But like with you, it was still in an autistic way so to speak. I'm really glad for you that you are able to be accepted well, and that people also recognize your autism. I think that's a lot better than hearing "you can't possibly be autistic and be that social" all the time.



Rocket123
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17 Jul 2015, 11:26 am

c700 wrote:
...However, I'm very sociable. I approach others, create social connections, and so on...

This intrigues me. As I regularly approach people all the time. But only when I need to communicate with them. As an example, at work, to share/exchange information. In those circumstances, I am very articulate.

With that being said, I doubt I create a "social connection". In fact, I have no idea what a "social connection" is. What are the indications that you have created a "social connection"? Is that a feeling (in yourself?, in others?)? Is it a thought?

Also, I am curious what "Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction" do you have?



League_Girl
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17 Jul 2015, 11:32 am

I was a sociable child and that is the reason why a doctor said I did't have autism when I was eight and he couldn't see why anyone would think I had it. His reason was I was too sociable so he didn't see autism in me but mentioned my odd behaviors like smelling things. I also didn't have a language delay of someone with autism. He may have been right because autistic kids can understand language and and what is being said to them, they just have a hard time speaking it. I didn't understand lot of language which could be the reason why I was visual because words were abstract for me and I didn't understand the meaning of them. My understanding of it was below the age level. But yet autistic children tend to score low in verbal IQ while aspie kids score high on it. I had a low verbal IQ.

Yes you can be autistic and be sociable. We know that now.


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Joe90
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17 Jul 2015, 12:02 pm

Yes you can. Just like an NT can have things like social phobia.

I'm shy, but I consider myself rather sociable. I always sit with my colleagues at lunch, I get depressed if I get too lonely, I often crave company, I love general chitchat, gossip, expressing my feelings, and other talk, and socialising does not exhaust me. Being lonely damages me emotionally, and so social interaction is essential.

This is why I plan to go into an old people's home when I'm old, if I am living alone and have nobody to see (family and husband long passed on, not having many friends around, younger relatives not close to me, unfriendly neighbours perhaps). A lot of people say they would hate to go into an old people's home, but I'd rather spend my last days somewhere where I'm being cared for and can have people to talk to when lonely, than just die alone somewhere and may not even be found until days or weeks later. That is so sad. :cry:


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