I'm just wondering why I am (or have become) this way.
I think it started in the puberty which is the same time we emigrated to Germany.
I just think too much.
I'm not that creative but I imagine all kind of situations that would never ever happen and then it goes like in a "what-if-then" tree and I imagine all the possibilities, mostly in words. (one example: what if move to US and become suspected of "whatever" in the US because I'm Iranian (and all the possible outcomes, my possible reactions etc.). I'll never go to US to begin with. why am I thinking this stuff?)
The other thing is that my thought processes are just too complicated / elaborate / whatever. Whenever I think of a very simple issue, I start coming up with a million possible co-factors etc. It's not like my thoughts don't make sense. They make sense (ok trying to tell someone is another story. their working memory fails mostly in the middle of my explanations), but sometime I catch myself trying to achieve something (simulating it in my head of course. I never achieved ANYTHING) by manipulating factors that would affect the outcome over 6 indirect steps. And needless to say, by doing this, I totally miss the very obvious solutions. (example: I tried to take whatever supplement to indirectly reduce BDNF in my brain but I neglect to drink water or eat food for days.)
By doing these, I have lost all emotional contact with reality >OR< I lack emotional contact with reality ANYWAYS so I make this shoot up to entertain myself ---> you decide. I can't. But both thinking like I'm doing a brain marathon since 15 years and lacking emotional contact with reality sucks.
Any solutions?
or am I just this way and it's part of my personality?
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Male
Aspie score: 131 of 200
NT score: 34 of 200
Possibly Aspie (diagnosed by an autism expert, doc moves abroad, forced to change docs and all say it's schizophrenia NOS or schizo-affective disorde or personality disorders. initial doc was a colleague of uncle Simon btw. you do the math.). (edit: by Uncle Simon I mean Simon Baron Cohen. Just to clear things up.)