Question about talking to yourself

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Everyday when I get back from work I start to manically talk to myself out loud and it can last for a very long time. Sometimes the talking is quite abrasive and I'm getting very worked up or angry about something that I've thought of or it's just some kind of release of tension.

I've done this for a very long time. I'm not sure what this is. I talk to myself a lot and have done for years. I probably spend more time talking to myself than I do talking to other people. I sometimes do it in public. There are various reasons why I do it and it varies from situation to situation. Sometimes it is social rehearsal, sometimes it is soothing, sometimes it helps me think and sometimes it is like stimming (so in loud places outdoors I do it to distract myself from the commotion around me).

What I want to understand is what it means when I get home and start talking in this manic way, almost like I'm just letting go or losing control. Is it almost like the release of tension that characterises a melt down? Does anyone else do this?

i have in the past.

I totally do this. You could be describing an average day in my life.

I do it when I get home from a stressful day -- I also do it even while getting ready to leave the house and have that day (usually on a workday).

In myself I seem to notice that it happens when I'm most tense, most stressed, and most unhappy. I do do the "rehearsal" type monologs to myself also, when I'm practicing something I know I'm going to need to say to someone.

I also do "post mortem" talking to myself after a social encounter did not go well, and I'm upset with myself for having said the wrong thing -- or failed to say the right thing. I get home and go over what I wish I'd said. I rage a bit, askng myself why the hell did I say this/not say that, oh god oh god oh god -- stuff like that.

Those rehearsal or post mortem ones can have their uses, as they help me figure out what to say NEXT time.

But other types of talking to myself are just ranting and venting stress. Before I leave for work I'll be saying out loud how unwell I feel, "It's a mild panic attack, not the worst, come on I can do this, christ why doesn't she have an electric fan I can use on a hot day like this? I hate bringing my own along...why don't I have a freaking car, then my muscles wouldn't hurt from dragging stuff with me.....oh god oh god oh god I hate my job, I hate this.....I just want to stay home, I just want to stay home.."

I go through that at lot just trying to get out of the house.

When I get back I do the same thing but about things that have happened, sensory issues, the nosy neighbor I can't stand running into, how much I wish I could find a new place to live. LOTS of letting off steam/venting/ranting.

I've noticed that the more stressed I am the worse and longer the self talking goes on. I also pace around a lot, and that too goes on longer if things have been really tense.

On good days when things have been easy for me, I've been relatively relaxed, nothing bad has happened, I've managed to get through my day unscathed, I don't even talk at all except "What shall I eat for dinner tonight? Hmm."

So I think stress is a major factor in how bad this gets.

You're welcome, and yes, even when it's not angry particularly, it seems to be some kind of release of built up stress. I think of it as almost helping to make more sense of my thoughts, clarifying them, by speaking them out to the air. The same way that sometimes it's suggested that a person write out their thoughts, keep a journal, write down how their feeling in order to get in touch with their current state of mind better.

I keep a journal too, and it's another good way to let off steam and vent about my day and the stress I felt, but I think that release when I get home is more urgently useful.

You may not always need to do it every day -- I don't think mine happens every day, as I say, sometimes when things have been okay I'm practically silent, "almost like a normal person" lol! Those are the days when I realize it's been a fairly good one I've coped with.

I do this!
Although I do sometimes do it in public (it's not something I think about, it just happens), I prefer to do it alone. I talk to myself at every given opportunity. I always have done. I have entire conversations with myself as if there's someone else in the room with me, I have arguments with myself sometimes too. I think I do it because I find it relaxing. I can vent frustration that way, and sometimes bring myself some clarity. Sometimes I don't really want to tell anyone how I feel if I'm annoyed or feeling down or whatever, or sometimes I need to plan things out loud to myself. Plenty of reasons why I do it, but it usually has the same outcome in that I feel good for doing it.

i find myself repeating stuff i said to others when i'm alone. i've always done this since i was little.

Yes, I don't know why but I certainly do this daily. I especially tend to revisit conversations that I have had, over and Over and OVER until I have viewed every possible angle. It is why I don't go out. It takes me two days to get over a ten minute conversation.

Under a lot stress, it's not a two way conversation obviously but I can pretty hard on myself. Sometimes I will speak out loud to myself to rehearse my thoughts and conversations as well. Seems like you guys are pretty similar.

Wow, there are quite a few of us! I always thought I was alone in this; it's kind of a relief to know I'm not the only one.

The reasons seem to be a range of things from rehearsal for the future and also repeating what has taken place (I do that too, sometimes saying it in an improved phrasing for future reference!), as well as sometimes a venting outlet for a stressful day. This is really interesting stuff.

I talk to myself a lot too, though not usually so loudly, and it's been a long time since I've let anybody hear me.

I think it's a fairly common thing for ASDers to do this, there was a thread some years ago about it and quite a few people said they did it. I also think it's sane and harmless, in face I think it's potentially quite useful as long as you don't start thinking it's somebody else you're conversing with, and as long as you don't do it in front of people who might judge you weird and cause you any grief for it.

It's useful to me because I'm better able to concentrate on my thoughts by vocalizing them. I can also test my ideas better if I have a dialogue with myself where one character is me and the other is a skeptic to my tentative assertions. And I can use it to polish my intonation and turn of phrase, much as a public speaker might rehearse.

Not the least bit unusual I bet. Especially since a lot of us have difficulties communicating verbally with others.
I'm doing it a lot since I started my teens. While pacing back and forth or walking in circles. I think as a result of this release valve I have been having fewer meltdowns.

It feels good to do it...it is something I enjoy doing but then, I look at how much time has passed and I feel bad...I also feel bad when I start to make myself angry with it. I'm a masters student so I have a lot of work to do and that is the priority in my life. That means I can actually feel really guilty after I have spent a long time talking to myself.

Also I will pretend I am talking to someone I know. This is usually really abstract, it's just anyone who I have trouble communicating with in real life, or the vague idea of another person. It could be several people merged together as some abstract "other". I talk to *myself* too, usually when I am trying to get through some task involving executive reasoning (I think?? kind of like when I'm in the supermarket and I need to order my thoughts). I've also used to it to go over social interactions that didn't seem to go well. I've used it to explain myself to the person I've f****d up with, trying to compose the perfect explanation. I've also used it to try and compose the perfect way of expressing a thought and in the past I used to repeat certain sentences over and over again until they sounded okay. It's not really something I can help doing and as for assessing its influence in my life...well, it can be incredibly helpful but at other times lead to a lot of guilt.

Throw my name in with the others who do the exact same thing. The most successful and in-depth conversations are usually the ones I have with myself.