House mates rowdy, won't obey the contract
I rent a room in a large house, and it is owned by a white Hispanic family, with one other roommate. this other roommate never complains or says anything. I think you just trying to save his neck.
the contract that I signed with these people is full of rules, including not making noise which I agree, not slamming doors, not leaving dishes in the sink, not inviting friends over to spend the night, etc.
yet since the owners obviously on the house, they obviously don't have to obey the rules. and being on ASD, I am a stickler for the rules. I mean, first of all they made the rules to begin with, but they never obey the rules. they are always yelling, screaming, slamming doors, and when they have family and friends over they yell at the top of their lungs like f****** maniacs. I guess this is how most Latino people live their lives I don't know ? my family was never like this, and we never scream and get rowdy at family gatherings. they always leave dishes in the sink, but when I leave one spoon there they get on my case. and for a month now I have not gotten on their case about anything wrong that they did. being afraid they will turn their wrath upon me. but now eventually, this is getting ridiculous. I have to say something.
last night, during a family gathering of theirs, they were getting very rowdy and were yelling at the top of their lungs, at 9 p.m. at night. so I gently knocked on the door, & I asked them politely to keep it down. the son, whom I talk to mostly, just said "yeah", then shut the door. mind you, I rent a tiny room, and they use the entire rest of the house. shortly after I asked them politely to keep it down, I heard laughter, then they were knocking on the table with their fists like monkeys, and then they just kept on as they were yelling before. that's basically a big old f*** you isn't it ? I mean you don't have to be an NT to interpret that one.
the aggravating thing is that all the rules are spelled out in the contract, why don't they obey their own rules ? I think of the real answer is that rules are made for little people like me, who have no real power, and have no say in society.
I am debating to myself whether I should have a sit down with the Sun and show him the contract once again.
I don't know if this will solve the problem, or if it will cause conflict.
they can't force me to move, but they can malice me until I am forced to move.
similar to what happened at my last residence. and it's no fault of my own, they just don't like me. it's not rocket science.
should I just say nothing and continue to let them treat me like an underling, like a nobody? or should I stand up for myself, and show them the contract that day f****** wrote, and ask them to keep it quiet ?
sorry for the language, I am just really pissed off about this
I would be furious. You're in a tough spot since it is their place. Are you able to find somewhere else to live? I hate moving, but it sounds like they probably won't change, even if they are breaking the contract. It's what I would try to do. But, I guess you could try documenting what they're doing to show someone how they've broken the contract, though obviously they think they don't have to answer to anyone.
I would move.
Side note. I know a lot of Hispanic people I don't know any that are rowdy. They do have large family gatherings for events, but they don't act terribly. It would only be terrible to me if I was invited, since I hate large gatherings. Most my neighbors are Hispanic and it's a fairly quiet neighborhood.
little_blue_jay
Velociraptor
Joined: 31 Jul 2014
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 421
Location: Ontario, Canada
I'd be furious too! I'd feel the same way about the rules - they frickin made 'em, and yet they can't stick to 'em??
Unfortunately I agree with how you said about rules are made for little people with no power - I feel the same way too, I also am only renting a room in a house and I'm the newest one here, just moved 2 months ago, and while I'm lucky in that my landlady and her mother are super quiet, no parties, have the TV off by 10-ish or so, they don't mind if I leave a dish or two as long as I come back to it later, there is one other tenant here who has already taken a couple of my things without asking; one item he took I hunted around for in the yard for over an hour, the other item (food) he hasn't paid me back for, it was brand new and he took the whole thing for him and his GF to eat, didn't ask, and it's pissing me off that my landlady doesn't seem to be too concerned with him taking my things already. But since I'm the 'lowest rung of the ladder' here what can I do? I am so careful not to move or take anybody else's things without asking and I certainly know what food isn't mine but he just takes what he wants, then claims he thought it was my landlady's and I guess she doesn't mind him taking her things but I mind my things being taken
But for now to keep my expenses down I pretty much need to stay here for the winter at least, as this recent move was so stressful for me I was in a 3-week long POTS flare-up, basically was so sick I couldn't do anything. I don't want to put myself through that again.
Are you able to find another place for about the same rent?
_________________
Diagnosed "Asperger's to a moderate degree" April 7, 2015.
Aspie score 145 of 200
NT score 56 of 200
AQ score: 47
RAADS-R score: 196
Little_blue_jay,
No, I don't have any money, let alone enough for another deposit on a new place.
Every deposit i've given these land-mongers they always find an excuse to take it all.
I'll just lay low and practice my breathing- calm meditations until I can move out. Few months hopefully. Dunno.
Real estate person wanted to hire and train me but I didn't have enough gas to even get to the interview. that would have been a really great job. I have a lot of agoraphobia, and fear of people, so I don't know how realistic my dream of becoming a real estate agent would have been. it still hurts a lot to miss that opportunity. I'm still kicking myself.
little_blue_jay
Velociraptor
Joined: 31 Jul 2014
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 421
Location: Ontario, Canada
Aeon, I forgot to mention super-duper strong earmuffs or the ones called Ear Defenders, what about those? Might muffle the yelling a bit? Of course if they're banging on tables with fists you'd probably still feel the vibration
What if you got together with the other roommate and both sat down with the son? Maybe the noise bothers him more than he lets on, and if you both gently bring up the concerns they might see that both of you are being disturbed? Strength in numbers kinda thing?
I feel for ya
_________________
Diagnosed "Asperger's to a moderate degree" April 7, 2015.
Aspie score 145 of 200
NT score 56 of 200
AQ score: 47
RAADS-R score: 196
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