Asperger's? Or, is it just me?

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I have Asperger's and I have many questions after spending most of my life unaware of what Asperger's is. I wanted a place to ask these kinds questions as they surface in the hope that someone here with a better grip on it will answer. I would also like to hear from other people like me who are struggling to understand the nature this condition.


Let's begin:
I was trying to schedule our month on the calendar when my wife got frustrated and said in a nasty tone, "I forgot, this is your Asperger's!" and stormed away. I don't think it is. Lots of people plan their calendar, right? So, I am left wondering, "Asperger's? Or, is it just me?"

Can I please have someone look at the post I put up and respond to it? No one has and it makes me upset that everyone else's posts get responses and mine don't

That's mean and it's something nearly everyone does

Last edited by iluvgod on 18 Jul 2015, 12:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I believe that we can't separate the Asperger's from the individual. Also, there might be other factors (such as your wife, herself) that was in play.

Okay, how about this:
Sometimes when I am close to other people, I can hear/feel their thoughts. It is in my vocabulary and my way of speaking but the thoughts are distinctly not mine. I have confirmed it several times and it only freaks them out. I have come to call it mind tracking and it has been with me most of my adult life. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. "Asperger's? Or, is it just me?"

Maybe it's the same as when NT can read body language but in your case it's processed differently?

Well, that might be something kinda useful at certain times and places. But, if it bothers you or makes you behave in ways you don't like, it might be a good idea to talk with someone. It might be that you are extremely empathic. That would be a good thing, though, if it were my ability, I would probably keep it to myself. People are sometimes upset with me for more mundane reasons. I would hate to add to their experience by knowing their thoughts. Hehe.

My one and only supernatural ability is prediciting Earthquakes ... but, only about five seconds before they happen. It turns out that isn't much of an ability, even if it is kookie fun when it happens!

Some people like to plan their calendar down to the last detail. This can be infuriating for those that don't. The above example may or not be symptomatic of aspergers. What it definitely is symptomatic of is the dynamic between you and your wife.

Let me give one example: I noticed one of my coworkers just staring at the ground so I stood quietly behind him and blanked my thoughts. I began to think of my Mother and that she made a big mistake. I thought she shouldn't have remarried. Except, this is not how I feel about my Mother and the image for my step-Father was blank. It felt like those dreams where you know you are home but it doesn't look like your house. After confirming that he was thinking about his Mother and her marriage he stopped and told me to get away from him. Can people get detail like that from body language? I am sure everyone who saw him knew something was troubling him. I was just the only one to try to talk with him about it.

I don't believe I was being too specific. At the time she snapped, I was asking which days she would take care of our Daughter while my family was visiting. I think it is our dysfunctional marriage and not Asperger's but it got me wondering if she could be right.

...I wasn't DX'd til' my mid-40s .........

I don't think anybody, autistic or otherwise, can read the minds of others like that by any natural means. Supernatural clairvoyance hasn't been linked to ASD as far as I know, though I saw a fictional drama once in which an autistic child could convey messages from the dead. If you think you have supernatural powers, you might be better off contacting your local Society for Psychical Research. Me, I think there must be a natural explanation for what you say happened. I don't believe in the supernatural, but if anybody successfully reads my mind like that, I'll change my opinion.

Well, I am most likely an Aspie, and I DO believe in the supernatural... a Christian, actually.

Now, I think there are abilities that God has given each person unique gifts and abilities. Perhaps he designed you to be naturally more sensitive to people's emotional or intuitive to other people's minds. Everyone's brains emit various signals, so I think it's entirely possible that those signals can be picked up on by "wireless" means. I don't think such a thing has to be supernatural, but at the same time, it COULD be. I don't really know, but am open to the possibilities.

I have heard that Autistic folk are more sensitive to the mood and emotional energy from other people. Like a person can just walk into a room, and you can feel their anger, or you get this sudden burst of anxiety. And I've had experiences like this before. I use to work with a lady who gave me really bad vibes.

She could show up to work, not say anything, and I felt stressed and anxious when she was around. She was a grumbler, and a really intense person. I loved and respected her as a fellow human, but it was difficult to be in the same room as her. At a Church I use to attend, they discussed how the spiritual state of a person can affect that of other people... even if that person is just walking in or not even saying anything. And there were scriptural truths connected to that as well.

We are not only creatures of material, and mental energy, but also spiritual beings. The same is true for Aspies, and everyone. Just some things to consider.

You should really just be thankful for the gift(s) that God has given you. It may help you compensate for other areas you may be lacking in, when it comes to relating to others socially. There's nothing wrong in and of itself in knowing intuitively what's on other people's minds... even if it seems a bit creepy to some people. Learn how to be more subtle, or ease on into a conversation, and let the other person bring it up, even if you read their mind first.

Also, if you are making a very precisely detailed calendar with ALL your plans a month in advance, well that could appear strange to some people. Then again, some people might be jealous of your organizational skills, or prudence. Or it could be that it's just something they find annoying for no rational reason. Perhaps your wife did not even mean to be nasty, and she was joking around.

I have a friend who finds many things I do to be strange, and says "Oh, this must be one of your autistic things". I personally find it to be funny when he says it most of the time. If I disagree, then I enter into a friendly light hearted debate on why I disagreed, and we hash it out. But I never have any resentment, and am never hurt by what he says. I don't think he ever means anything nasty by them. We actually have a really strong friendship, and help each other out all the time. I personally find many things I do strange when I compare them to the majority of people out there.

If it really bothers you, then just bring the topic up to your wife plainly. Something like, "I was offended when you said such and such, because I don't agree with that statement. Here's why.... What do you think? How would you suggest I go about planning my next month? I'm open to suggestions and improvement."

If you go to your wife with that, she may actually be sympathetic give you her honest thoughts and advice, or she might just reconsider her words and apologize. Honesty is the best practice in any relationship. It can help keep resentment from building up.

But try to approach the situation in a gentle manner.

Honestly, I don't have all the details, and cannot tell who was in the wrong, or if there even was a wrong in the first place. So take what I say with a grain of salt.

Aspergers is very complicated. Every autistic person has a different set of quirks however a certain set of social deficits make a person that does not have autism able to identify said person with ease.

Who said understanding Aspergers was easy? Some of the most qualified psychology professionals fail to understand the condition because it is so complicated. Hell, we don't even know what causes it. Perhaps traffic fumes, parents using certain drugs much is still to learn about the condition.

However, identifying your Aspergers is much easier and you should work on that instead rather than trying to understand the condition as a whole, which is an immense task. Perhaps you should purchase an Aspergers workbook more feeling orientated to try to understand your condition.

I think that everybody is always doing tracking, they just misread the signals as they blend well with their own. Tracking seems just as natural as hearing music and distinguishing the instruments. No magic, just listen.