Mean boss? Bullied at work?

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Does anyone work with a boss that is mean? I really think this one lady has it in for me....

It's really odd; she talks nice to everyone else, but she's really mean to me. I think it's becasue I'm leaving and she doesn't like the fact that I'm getting transferred. IT still really hurts my feelings.

I'm nice to everyone. It reminds me of being bullied in school. I thought life was way past that.

Very disheartening. If I could; I would live in a cave somewhere.

Forget her. She's probably a big feeler and feels it's a personal betrayal. Is she your boss? I've seen many bosses do this with employees leaving and they were NT employees. Some bosses are just immature and emotional. You're moving on so ignore her until you are out of there.

what's a big feeler? Yes, she's my direct supervisor. She was nice to me when I worked for someone else; now I don't even want to get in a small room with her. She's scary.

Feeler is a personality type and people who score high in that can sometimes take everything personally to the point where they act irrationally over imagined slights. She was nice to you before because she wanted you under her thumb, but now that you are leaving her control, she is angry and feels betrayed. She probably thinks you are grateful enough to her for being such a great boss and friend.

All I can tell you is that there are bosses like this and you should not think this is because you are an Aspie because it's not. Those kinds of bosses do that to NTs as well.

Yes, she is scary. Just do your job, stay quiet and go to your next job.

Okay, I'll try. that's why I love this place. I can talk to someone that understands why I feel this way. It feels better to know it's because she's a feeler. I can understand that.

It's difficult for me to be quit; I have a loud type personality...my heart is also on my sleeve. Very terrible. Sometimes I wonder why God made me this way. It's really been aweful, it's very hard. I almost had to leave work so I could cry.

Your right, another week or so and I'll be gone. Then it will be all over; her boss is also gone on a business trip...so when she comes back she might change.....

If you get into a situation where you absolutely have to talk to her, here's what you do. Say, "You know, I have loved working for you. You were so nice and you taught me so much. I couldn't have gotten this new job without all you did." People who are feelers love that. It makes them feel good. And because you said she was nice, she will feel she can't be nasty without looking badly. You can also say, "I've been quiet because I didn't know how to tell you how much I appreciated all you did." That will go a long way with her. In reality, she just wants to feel valued and appreciated.

Funny you should ask this question. I just quit one of my jobs today because Ive had it with how the boss treats others. She's great with me, but she beats down with words other women, especially ones who make the kinds of mistakes she makes, but denies making. Constantly projecting her s**t onto others. Today she tore into one of the most innocent girls Ive worked with, and that was it for me. I unloaded on the b***h and left.

My boss isnt a feeler, she's psycho.

This is why I don't want a woman boss (no I'm not being sexist since I am female and all). Most women use a lot more emotion in the workplace and I am very likely going to be one of them, especially since my dad is a CEO, so that isn't helping matters any. If I do ever have to put up with a boss, though, I want it to be a man. My mom also hates having woman bosses, too, so it's not just us.

oh, my heart goes out to you Cordelia,
I understand exactly, however it might not be your boss'es fault. Has she always been like that, or only since she knows you are leaving? I have found over my life people misinterpret my body language and facial expressions. Just as much as I don't understand their body language, I don't hold myself like other folks ( just think about Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles, they hold themselves differently because they have no visual yardstick) and those people that CAN read body language often think I am disrespecting them, etc.

Just a thought, because I have seen it often, and they treat me outrageously !

Merle

I had a female boss who was so emotional that you never knew what to expect from day to day. You could tell if she was pissed off or happy by her emails. They would end with either 'Thanks.' (pissed off) or 'Thanks!' (happy).

Yeah, I understand the body language thing. I just figured that one out; now i'm trying to convey a totally bland persona/body language.

Also, I talked with a woman friend and she said the same thing...she doesn't ever want to work for a woman. My last boss before this one was a woman. So, I don't know. I'm on the fence.

I just have to go in with the thought of doing my job and keep focused for the next week or so....

I've worked for both and had feelers who were both. They both had the same issues. I've also had great women bosses and men bosses. I don't work well with people who are big feelers. I walk all over their feelings without realizing it. I work well with bosses who just want the job done. If they come across as no nonsense and efficient in the interview, I know it will be good. The problem is bosses change and you can't always control that.

The absolute worst feeler I ever worked with was a man. He was completely irrational with everyone. He used to pit the other employees against each other. I found the trick with him though. I always made him look good to his bosses and he loved that. As a result, he loved me. I never could stand him and he exhausted me every day that I worked with him.

I hate two types of bosses.

The sheltered female boss who rewards attitude and "emotional empathy" over performance-driven, problem solving, ideal workmanship.

and

The Jock Boss who micromanages your moves in and out of the office (which is Generally the Rude type until management tells him to control his emotions).

Sadly I work with both types here and I'm tempted to get out in months for greener pastures (but these stock options and upper managment rules are always wishy washy to me).

I really didnt mean to start a 'female bosses are bad' thing. Every boss I have is a female and the other three are excellent all around and personally I prefer one of their style's to any boss Ive had or even known.

And there are lots of men bosses who do that thing I described of projecting their s**t onto other men below them. Real common, trust me.

So its not a sex thing. Its an as*hole thing and an ego thing and egos grow with regular feeding no matter what sex you are.

Its just that some have gone so far into the ego that theres a disconnect between it and the heart, and they begin to act like graduates of the Idi Amin School of Advanced Diplomacy.

This is my boss to the tee....it's unbeliable. All is fine today; I complained to her boss which straigented things out; however, I really torque her jaw. I think it's because I don't get offended by people...I just come in a do my job.

I don't know about female/male bosses. I've had both and it really depends on the personality. That's what I look for.

It's not just woman bosses men bosses are horrible too!!
It just bosses in general that are pains in the ash.